I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety and depression lately, and was referred here from the stopsmokingcenter.net website. Lots of annoying things going on in my life at the moment, nothing really on its own bad enough to make me miserable but in sum probably not helping much. I've always been a perfectionist and overachiever, and am in a really difficult job situation where I feel like a failure all the time. My job is also temporary but also high stress and a lot is expected of me before I leave in October. I also have to start job searching so I'm not unemployed when my contract is up. I'm also living about 1000 miles away from my family and friends from college, although I feel like I've done a good job making a lot of new friends where I currently live and I feel like I have a good support network here. I'm also struggling with figuring out my sexual orientation, suffered a very bad injury and surgery a few months ago and also just recently quit smoking.
Lately I have been noticing I've been drinking a lot, and feel like I have been hanging on by the skin of my teeth trying to avoid smoking again. I'm going to therapy once a week and have stopped drinking after discussing it with my therapist. I feel a lot of self-destructive impulses, and when I feel good I feel like I'm not supposed to, which ironically makes me feel bad and confused.
Anyway, life isn't all bad. I exercise a lot, I love to run and figure skate and do so 5-6 times a week. Exercise always makes me feel better when I do it. I see my friends at least once a week, take a class once a week, and at least work gets me showered and dressed and out of my apartment 5 days a week. Sometimes I feel good, sometimes just OK, sometimes very anxious, sometimes miserable, sometimes like a robot, and sometimes I have no idea.
Hopefully talking about it here will help. I know it'll be good knowing that I'm not alone.
