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Being misunderstood

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

An old thread... but still very relevant.

I think that the knowledge of MDD is rather low, as we are very good in hiding our illness from the outside world. People who are publicly coming out with their illness often encounter disbelieve and shock. Just look in your ring of people you know; how many have had a episode of depression? It should be at least 10% of the people you know.

The last couple of weeks I have been telling people that I am suffering from MDD (not everyone, but a good number). I had to as this time I have difficulties to get into a "normal" routine and am missing a lot of obligations. Several confessed that they themselves also have had to deal with depressions in the past. So there is not only a stigma, but it seems there is also an enormous taboo on the subject of mental health. I think in Canada thanks to people like Romeo Delaire, Clara Hughes and Magaret Trudeau the taboo is under attack... we will need to support these champions as much as we can.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Yup, lankey pete...

there is still a stigma.

psychotropics work anyway

I agree with the stance Sally posted on 6/11/2010 below

I read what you wrote and I'm glad you are here.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

I have had the experience of being misunderstood about me feeling majorly depressed, the frustration i felt was absolutely enraging trying to voice my feelings and getting lectured by a friend about an acquaintance moving to Africa and helping the needy and i should do something similar,at the time i could only find the energy to eat once a day and crawl through a day at work.

This attitude i encountered with most people i spoke to and i began to wonder myself even if i had a problem as no one else could see it, even now typing i think to myself "c'mon it wasn't that bad".

There is still in my eyes a stigma that comes with a depressive/anxiety in fact all mental illnesses for that matter, just look at the flak psychiatry its methods and psychotropic medicine cops online, i challenge you to find one video on youtube that is positive towards SSRI's , thats something that has bugged me and i wanted to get off my chest. Thanks!!

Anyway back to the original point of understanding i guess all one can do is understand that sometimes its hard for people to relate when they themselves have no experience or knowledge on the subject.

That's all i have for now even if no one reads this it has arranged my messed up thoughts for a while.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Thanks for that reply, Sally. It is good to know that other's feel the same way and have experienced the same thing, especially with their families. You've given me some things to think about. Thanks!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

I have definitely felt this before, on both sides of the situation.

About 10 years ago, my husband suffered from a major, debilitative bout of depression for over a year. I had never had depression and could not understand. I still loved him and supported him, but just could not "get" why he could not snap out of it and appreciate all that he had.

Now, he is fine, and I am the one suffering from MDD. He is much more understanding than I was because he has been there before. I think, without first hand experience of depression, it is really hard for others to sympathize. Since I am seeing it from both sides, I just don't expect much from those family members/friends who don't understand it. When they say things about appreciation, etc, I don't take it personally. I just know they have never suffered from depression themselves. My mother-in-law has also suffered from a milder form fo depression, so she is very understanding. Everyone else, I just don't get in conversations about depression (or about much of anything also!) with them. They don't want to hear it anyway. I have noticed people with no experience of depression tend to feel uncomfortable talking about it. Their discomfort makes me uncomfortable, so I don't bring it up.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this situation! I really want to feel "normal" again someday, but for now, I have a new normal that I am living with.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Hi Rebbie,

It sounds like this really hurt you. I have to say it took a lot of strength to express how you feel to them and how you would like them to understand. That took courage so good for you. I encourage you to keep voicing this need with them. By providing smaller amount of information they may be less intimidating to them? That all being said know that we are here for you.

Keep working on the program and keep focusing on getting better, this will pass. Be easy on yourself and don't put to much pressure on yourself to be "normal". If a loved one was in your exact situation what would you do or tell them?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Thanks for your reply, Ashley. Last winter, when I had just had a major episode and I came to DC, I copied information about depression for my family to read. They didn't. That was very hurtful and frustrating, but I just chalked it up to everybody having their own problems to deal with and I just had to suck it up that my problem was depression.

I just want them to understand. In fact, that's what I say to them when I try to talk to them, but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. I just want to be "normal" again.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Hi Rebbie,

I can see how this would be frustrating Rebbie.

Having loved ones not understand depression is common. If you have never experienced being depressed it can be really hard to understand what depression is. Also, loved ones always want to "fix" the problem. Know that they are trying to help when they tell you about good things you have to look forward to.

Have you directed your loved ones to information about depression? A little education may help. Perhaps read up on how loved ones can support an individual with depression and then communicate with them what you have learned. Let them know that you do not want them to fix your depression you just need someone to listen.

Ideally, how would you want someone to support you?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

I'm having another bout with depression, and I feel as if the people in my life don't see this as a real illness. When they talk to me and I'm feeling this way, they tell me how much I have to look forward to, how much I have to be thankful for, etc. I know all of this, but I still can't help feeling the blues. I wish I could control it. If I could, I certainly wouldn't be living with this depression. On top of feeling depressed, I'm frustrated! Arrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!!!! Anyone else out there experience this?

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