Hi There Ashley :)
Good thread. I'd like to add some personal experience thoughts to the already sound advice.
What I've learned is that peace is more important to me than being right. You can pick and choose your battles. But, I've found, over the years, and as my Grandmother once told me, "None of these petty arguments matter in the long run." She said this while my bed ridden Grandfather laid in bed dying from Parkinson's Disease for 3 years. Kind of puts it in perspective. When a snarky comment is thrown in my direction (snarky comment equals a football, let's say) I have two choices. I can catch the snarky remark (football) and internalize it and be pissed about it or I can choose to drop the snarky comment (football) and let it bounce off of me, let it go in one ear and out the other and let it roll off of me like water off of a duck's back. It takes a lot of practice, when you're sensitive, but it's worth the peace in the long run. My Mom used to say, "Is it true?" (re: the snarky comment) and I would say, "No." So, why let it bother you. I know it's easier said than done, but with practice it gets easier. The older I get, the less I care about what people think or say about me. Sometimes I get caught off guard with a stranger taking it out on me, but I can just give it to God and realize that it's not personal, the person would have taken it out on someone else, if not me. It was just bad timing. And, I realize anger comes from hurt, so I try to feel sorry for them instead of offended. Saying a quick pray for them, in my head, diffuses the situation. Also, expectation is a catalyst for disappointment, because rarely do people live up to our standards. I found accepting people, as well as myself, flaws and all keeps me less angry when things don't go the way I expect. I used to generalize all of the troubles, when only one was addressed, so keeping it to the topic is important. Also, letting go of the past, forgive and forget. Forgiveness gives you peace. It doesn't excuse the person or behavior, but it frees you from going over and over it again in your mind. The offending person doesn't think about it, so why torture yourself. Now, I ask for clarity if something someone says, hits me the wrong way. Nine times out of ten, I've misinterpreted their meaning. We all look at life through different filters, but expect everyone to think the same way as we do and that's impossible. Well, these are just some different tips from life's experiences. Oh! One more tip...Don't respond if you're angry. I will tell the person that I'm angry and I need to walk away and when I calm down I'll get back to you. The old saying, "Count to Ten", is a saying for a reason :) No need to make the situation worse and say things you'll regret and have to apologize for later.
Shari
