Hi
Thanks for sharing your stories... It's intersting how we can all be so different in our diagnosis / disorders but share so many qualities... Such a broad spectrum with very blurry borders I would say...
I'm a very social person and do very well in situations that I'm in control of... or know that I do well at BUT take me out of that comfort zone and the anxiety inside kicks in ... A lot like you Birdie.
When I first got anxiety when I was in college I skipped out on every oral report..... and eventually I quit school because I didn't get what was happening to me... ick... I landed a great job and did amazing there... spent 14 years in the industry and excelled but as I said I was good at it so the anxiety was nil....
I have noticed though as I get older (I'm 35) I do tend to screen calls more often ... or want to stay home more..... I think this is good though as I used to not like "alone" time.. and always had to have something on the go so that I was busy and not anxious.... Now I like me and think I like my own company... so I think this is more positive than negative.. I have a very close group of friends as I've learned it's not the quantity of friends I have anymore but the quality... and ALL of them know about what I battle..and all my quirks.. and still love me.. That's all I need...
Miki... As for your hubby... It must be VERY tough living apart... I can't imagine my hubby being gone like that... so I think the anxiety you feel is perfectly normal... Even a person not suffering from anxiety would experience some of your feelings. Is there no way you can live together all the time? I'm not sure the reason behind this set-up so it may not actually be feasible.. Just thought I would ask... It just might do you well to try to find a way you can be together during the week too... Being alone can be hard no matter what and as a fairy newly married couple I think it's important to be together... So maybe a compromise.. like living half way in between where you both need to be... I don't know.. just don't like to hear your struggling with this.
He sounds like he's been pretty understanding thus far..
Miki.. YOU WILL be able to go out again.. YOU WILL be able to work again.. and contribute BUT you need to be well and right now that's what you're working on.. Don't begrudge yourself this right... and don't feel guilty. We married the men we love through sickness and in health... through good times and bad.... Give yourself the time to heal... and soon you'll be doing all the things you're missing... The pressure you're putting on yourself is too much.... You're getting there Miki.. and have been such a source of comfort to me... I appreciate you.. as I'm sure he does too.. He probably just wishes he could "fix" you as men feel they need to do...
Take care.. and sorry for the VERY long ramble.... I just got lost in my thoughts...
