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Challenging My Death Phobia

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Dansen,

You posed a very good question and it is important that you realized this distinction within yourself.

I think the key is to learn how to get out of your mind and understand how this is affecting your body. I know, way easier said then done. A couple things you could try are:

1. Deep Breathing - mindful breathing helps break obsessive thought cycles and anxiety since it forces you to focus on each step: breathing in, expanding your lungs, holding your breath and slowly letting it out - then repeat up to 10 times. Not only does it help you change focus but it is very relaxing as well.

2. Another idea that I've heard done is to simply wear an elastic band around your wrist - one that is not too tight - and whenever you notice obsessive, negative thoughts taking over, snap the elastic band. This will help stop your thoughts and bring awareness to your surroundings.

Try these, and let us know if you find them helpful!

Vincenza, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Today I am trying chapter 3's recommendation, to challenge the thoughts.

The fear is death. The scary thing is that for all of the "challenging questions," there really are terrifying answers.

The examples given for positive thinking are:

People who have panic disorder do not faint, or
I have never fainted from a panic attack, and I will never faint from a panic attack

What makes this difficult to use is that in my case it's:

Everyone dies
I have to face the inevitability of death eventually (at the end of my life)

My issue is not so much a need to challenge irrational fears as much as I need to work on stopping obsessive thoughts. What are recommendations for repetitive, obsessive thought cycles? Does this program address that sort of issue?

Thanks. :'3

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 270

okiemom,

Welcome to the boards! Sorry to hear you are not feeling well and that you've been having anxiety attacks.

Have you had a look around the site? There is a lot of useful information to be found as well as some valuable tools that may be helpful in allowing you to cope with your anxiety.

Please let us know if you have any questions. In the meantime, we are always here to support you.

Sonia

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1

Hello all. I am new here so forgive me if I am posting in the wrong place. I have not been feeling good today and I have a feeling it is because I chose not to take my anxiety meds last night to see if I could go without. Today I have a headache, feel a little out of it, just weird. Of course I panic thinking it's something else. Anyway I have suffered from anxiety since I was young but I had never really experienced a full blown panic attack until about 5 months ago. Now I can't escape my anxiety and fear. It is driving me insane and the muscle twitching is enough to make me want to scream! I am not sure if it is from the meds, my anxiety, both, or something else all together, which starts the cycle all over again. I have been bombarded with death in the past 5 months as well as illnesses and I am struggling hard trying to make sense out of this life, if there is even meaning to it.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Thank you both for your great replies. It gives me a lot to think about. I think that when I think about death, I just let the panic take over. I have not let myself philosophize much, because I feel like death, the "purpose" of living and dying, and the afterlife are "unknowable," and it is that common "fear of the unknown."

Terribly sorry about your brother, Davit. I hope he does not experience too much pain. Cancer is a hard way to go; I've lost several family members that way (but did not witness their deaths). Your love and support will help him through this difficult time. Some people come out of it and others never do but I have found even those who lose the battle often do so peacefully. Best wishes to you & your family.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hi.

My Brother who we all know I don't get along with informed me today that he has Cancer. Bit of a dilemma there but he is my brother. I will stand by him but I must say mortality is getting closer than I'm usually comfortable with.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Interesting,

I've seen a lot of people die. I'm of that age where friends and acquaintances start to pop off. Most have cancer or some other horrible thing. A few have been living in pain for a while. The majority are ready to go when it is their time.

The only reason to fear death is that you have no experience of it. I'm in no rush to die although many of my nights I'd have to say I'm ready. Not so come morning and a coffee to start the day.

For those with no religion, all memory ends and it is memory that causes panic. There is no panic after death. There may well be nothing. I know this, what ever there is there can be no pain or panic without a body so enjoy life while you have one, even if some times it sucks.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Dansen,

Welcome to the group. You bring up a very interesting topic; death. Death is a fear for many and coming to terms with it can be difficult. Firstly, no you do not need to visit morgues or witness human deaths to do exposure work for your fear of death. It sounds like you fear the thought of death and dying so in this case your exposure work will be thinking about death in varying ways. Check out the Ask the Expert section as here Dr. Farvolden talks about how to go cognitive exposure. I think it is under the topic CBT.

In regards to death, I think we all have some fears around death and the way everyone comes to terms with the idea differs depending on their world view, past experiences, beliefs, etc. I am not a religious person so I struggled with the idea of death myself. What helped me is doing a bit of research on the topic. There are many interesting views on death that may help you come to terms with it. One interesting quote that helped me was from Albert Einstein who said, energy doesn't die it just changes forms. This to me was interesting as we are a form of energy so it makes sense that we wouldn't just cease existing we would just not continue living as we know it. I believe this to be true and I believe human beings with their finite brain capacity may not be able to fully comprehend what happens in the after life as we were not meant to know. This is my view, it can take time to build yours.

Members, if you are comfortable, please share how you have come to terms with death. All religions and view points welcome.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Hi, I'm Dan. 22 year old male.

Here is an example of my fear-- an episode that occurred yesterday:

I was with my boyfriend, and we were walking home after a successful day. I was really happy, at an all time high. It quickly dropped into a panic attack because we ended up talking about cryogenic freezing and it made me "realize" that I am alive, and that then made me "realize" that we all have to die someday, that I am going to die someday, that he is going todie too... everyone I care about and ever will care about has to die... And that when I die, I will be gone forever. Feeling down that I don't have a religion or spiritual belief to comfort me in death (I am an atheist). I made the profound statement (and admitted it to another person for the first time) that I am deeply afraid of my very last moments on my deathbed, knowing that I am going to die, or am dying, the terror I will feel trapped in my body as it is shutting down, unable to speak or hold my loved ones, and then before I know it, I will be gone, with no memories, no consciousness, unable to reflect back on my life. I am terrified of this day. When I think about all of this, I get that "feeling of unreality," or rather, that reality isn't real... Like that I'm not really here... or that I'm shocked that I AM here. And it simply feels so strange to be alive and human but I am terrified of losing it, too.

Now I just read in the program that we challenge our fears through "exposure". Does this mean I need to go to morgues, cemeteries, hospitals to visit the dying, and possibly witness as many human deaths as possible to reduce my fear? A friend of mine is a funeral director and he said dealing with the families of the departed helped him get over his fear (though it wasn't as bad as mine is).

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Challenging My Death Phobia