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The Panic That Cried Wolf


20 years ago 0 6 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi, I am so new to this website, I found it and signed up nearly 12 hours ago but I could already feel the effect of it all day long. I feel better today knowing I am not alone, there are people like me. Now I know there is someone else asking the question I do. I am so afraid of dying during the attacks...3 months ago I was saying I am "animal", I have been working more than 14 hours a day, I never thought about death..And now....you know, this panic is like a bird on my shoulder and we are always going together. Everywhere, all the time the bird is on my shoulder. Like I need to consider "him" concerning everything I do... Why should I do that? In my country we have a saying that what caused the problem will cure me. So, I am asking myslef " If I am so afraid to be alone, if I can't go to a place withought knowing there are people there ( who can eventually help me, but help me what??) then I probably must do that?? I am seriously considering the opportunity to go to the woods alone this weekend and spend the night there. I won't take my mobile, I won't tell anyone. I will either die of fear or live it up. I don't want the panic to be with me for a day more. Probably I confused you more, I don't know either why we should be afraid of dying when we KNOW BEST WE WON'T. Other question is "Why me?", "Why you?"... Hold to this board, I could feel it helps. Maria//
20 years ago 0 138 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I just had to laugh!!! I'm only 36 but I already HAVE rheumatoid arthritis. Got it as a young 19 year old. And you are correct, if you got a mild case like me you would prefer to have arthritis. Keep up the good fight! In the meantime I'm going to pray this doesn't last till I'm 80yr. old. Rachele
20 years ago 0 35 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well I personally think we're on the verge of a cure here. We just need to figure out that "middle part". Haha. Seriously, though, we know what it takes to get better. I think we'll get there. When we're 80 yrs old I'm sure we'll be laughing about all the imaginary symptoms we had as young whipper-snappers and be moaning and graoning about all the real old-age problems that we'll probably have... like arthritis. I'd take arthritis over panic any day of the week!
20 years ago 0 138 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
YES! It does make sense cause thats what it is like for me too. When I get busy and it starts to fade I always kind of forget what its like and I say to myself what the heck were you worked up about. I feel so confident during those times, like, "I won't ever let that happen to me again. I beat it". I keep praying that after one of these episodes I really will have learned the trick of just "getting fed up" with the panic so that I don't ever again trigger an extended episode of panic/anxiety. Other people have come through this, how did they learn the trick of it I wonder? It all makes sense Tony. Rachele
20 years ago 0 35 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey, Thanks for your responses. I can tell you both this much from experience- When I have better, more productive things to think about, my anxiety retreats and eventually goes away completely. Almost to the point where I laugh about having had it at all. I think to myself "How stupid was I to have such extreme and terrifying worry that it affected my life like that". That's how I feel when I've distanced myself from panic. It's wonderful. When I am in panic mode I am, well, like just about everyone else, I suppose. I wish I knew the secret of how I go from one extreme to the other. The only thing I can think of is that I actually get so tired of it that I just worry about other things. Fillig my life with other things seems to work wonders. When I've moved apartments, changed jobs, started new relationships, etc, things have been great. i think it's when I get stuck in a bit of a rut that I allow myself to ruminate about anxiety and panic. So, I sort of HAVE figured it out a little bit. The trick is trying to stay in the non panic frame of mind. When I'm panicky all logic seems to go out the window. Even if I occupy myself for a few hours, when I'm in panic mode I will always return to the worry. and THAT is what perpetuates this condition. It is only when I learn to say "Ya know what...this just isn't worth the worry. Let me worry about something else". I just need to learn how to get to this point a lot quicker. It always takes time. It's like I need to exhaust the worry before I can actually stop worrying. Ugh. Does this make ANY sense whatsoever?!?
20 years ago 0 71 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I sure can relate to the frustration you're feeling. But whoever said we were thinking rationally whilst in the middle of a panic attack? You are examining your feelings about what the panic does to you with your Rational Mind. Of course, it's completely true and logical that you are not having a heart attack, stroke, whatever. BUT, when you are having a panic attack you are thinking with our Irrational Mind. Yes, death is imminent. Yes, I am going to die. Yes, I am having a heart attack. I think the trick is to learn how to stop the panic before it starts, which is why I'm enrolled in the program on this site, so I can learn to do that. I, too, am way beyond frustrated with having this happen to me over and over. My Rational Mind is fed up. My Irrational Mind is rubbing its hands together gleefully and giggling in a corner waiting for the next panic attack to come so it can take over. Wait until it finds out I have a new secret weapon. (hee hee hee) I don't mean to sound flippant or invalidate what you are feeling in any way, but this is how I am coping at the moment. Basically it's take my meds, work the program, see my doctor, talk on this forum, and plot against the panic. I feel like a war is being waged between my two minds and I'm strategizing to beat the pants off the panic and my Irrational Mind. I hope this is helpful in some way. I really identify with what you are saying. I am so sick of having panic and anxiety, that to compare it to a war is the best way to describe how I feel. Keep talking to us. We're your reinforcements! Sarah :)
20 years ago 0 138 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Good Morning Tony. If you ever manage to answer the question of why you buy into that fear I want to know IMMEDIATELY! Cause I figure once I stop worrying about becoming depressed, not being able to function or killing myself, I will be able to live a normal life again. Like you, I often wonder why do I work myself up over these thoughts again, and again, and again!?!?! If I was depressed I would notice I was sad wouldn't I? If I really wanted to hurt myself I wouldn't be terrified over the thought would I? But the thought still makes me so terrified that its all I can do to keep myself from running off to the psychiatric hospital. I just keep talking to myself over and over, about how this is just the panic, that this has not happened and will not happen, etc. whatever I can think of at the time. Its exhausting though, isn't it? You aren't alone, Tony, I definitely understand the frustration and sadness. Rachele
20 years ago 0 35 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey, I don't get it. I simply don't. I have been dealing with this condition for nearly half my life and I still buy into the phantom fears and worries that this condition seems to bring out of me. I mean, how many times can I worry about having a heart attack, passing out, having an aneurysm, a stroke, that I'm losing my marbles, etc, etc, and so on? Not one of these things has ever happened?!? Why is it that I let these fears get the better of me? How many times must I prove to myself that these things are most likely NOT going to happen. And if they DO happen I'll probably not have any time to react anyway. So why worry? It doesn't do any good! It accomplishes nothing. Can anyone relate to this frustration? Yours Truly, -Tony

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