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A set back after so much progress

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A set back after so much progress

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Teebs - I am in my early 40s. I had my first panic attack when I was graduating high school. In the 20-plus years since then, I've had some very long stretches of being pretty much anxiety free, and I've had some pretty awful setbacks.

The advice I would give you is don't bother trying to figure out WHY you had a setback or what caused it. It really doesn't matter and trying to figure it out will only make you more anxious or to avoid that situation again.

You should focus your energy on facing and accepting that "hey, sometimes I feel this crappy anxiety way, but it isn't going to control me". You are tough. You are brave. You have defeated it before. The hardest part of dealing with anxiety, in my opinion, is the acceptance piece. In fact, that's why I'm on this site and working this program. I have got to the point where it doesn't interfere with my day-to-day life - I work full-time at a job I enjoy, I travel, I'm not limited really in any activity - but I still struggle with obsessive thoughts and negative thinking.

This is going to sound cheesy as heck, but I want to recommend to you to listen to two songs by the band Fun. One is called "Carry On" and the other is "It Gets Better." Both have a very positive message and can help give you the confidence you need. My favorite lyrics from "Carry On":

'Cause here we are

We are shining stars

We are invincible

We are who we are

On our darkest day

When we're miles away

We will find our way home

If you're lost and alone

Or sinking like a stone

Carry on

May your past be the sound

Of your feet on the ground

And carry on

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Thanks, Shari....I have made it through this week one day at a time.

Overall this week has gone a lot better than expected. After a very restful weekend, there has been some anxiety about going to work, but it has been manageable for the most part - until now.

Monday through Thursday I did my regular shifts at work, but now an hour after going to sleep on Thursday night I just woke up having a panic attack. This is how my whole difficult setback started two weeks ago. Does this strike anyone as unusual - doing so much better again and than waking up in panic?

I felt like I've been doing so well only to have it strike seemingly out of the blue again. Now I don't know what to do for my half shift Friday morning at work, either. The worse of the panic seems to be subsiding right now, though at its worst I was gagging/retching in the bathroom which rarely happens like that and which with all my throat anxiety I especially hate. It's looking like I'll be up for a while tonight....

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Hi Teebs -

Good for you! Self care and self compassion are two huge lessons in keeping anxiety away. Also, express your feelings and allow yourself to feel your emotions; don't stuff them or ignore them, that will keep anxiety away also. I know it's cliche to say, "Take it one day at a time." But, taking life moment to moment or one day at a time, also keeps anxiety away. Thinking about the future (work tomorrow) causes anxiety. Living in the present is a great coping skill to be able to handle things in smaller steps. All you have to do is get through the day, not next week, next month or next year. I'm proud of you for taking a "me day" to unwind and for delegating some of your responsibilities. You are well on your way to getting through this temporary setback. You will bounce back quickly with what you are doing. Great job Teebs!

Shari

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Thanks for all the comments and encouragement everyone. I know logically that setbacks are part of the process, but it's so hard to believe it emotionally when you're back to feeling so miserable. It really helps to hear from all of you that you've survived setbacks!

Part of what gets me into a vicious cycle is that my old habits are to not take care of myself. I always try to barrel through things regardless of how I feel, and act as though nothing is wrong so nobody notices I'm having a hard time. I've been consciously shifting some of those responses this time, which I realize is a sign of everything I've learned. I'm letting some people at work know what I'm dealing with, and whether they fully understand or not they are at least showing some respect that I'm dealing with something difficult. As a result, it was a little easier for me to take Friday off of work and have some serious down time that helped take the edge off, rather than pushing through work and surviving while feeling bad only to come home and start getting worked up about the next day.

So, it has been a pretty restful weekend, but now that it's Sunday night all the "what ifs" about work tomorrow are starting to creep back. Trying to breathe and answer those thoughts with strength, but having a little bit of a hard time with it. I know it will be hard to get out the door tomorrow morning.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Teebs it's Shari -

I had a similar experience this past summer. Just practice the coping skills that you've learned here and it will get you back to where you were before. That's what happened to me. Don't be discouraged or afraid. You have not lost everything you've learned. It is just a temporary setback. I didn't think I'd get back to normal, but I have and I'm able to go to lots of social events and I'm handling everything well. Don't give up, it's not going to take you long to get back to where you were. If you need to personal email me, please feel free. A lot of change, even good change, can trigger anxiety. But, you can get back on track and you will. I know it.

Shari

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Hi Teebs,

I am sorry you have been feeling this way but please know set backs are completely normal and actually even a healthy part of the healing process. High stress times often trigger anxiety to arise. This set back does not mean you have lost everything you have learned - it is all still there. You will not have to go back to square one. This is just pointing you in a direction where more work needs to be done. It sounds like all of these stressful events have triggered some negative core beliefs. I'm wondering if maybe checking out the depressioncenter.net might be helpful to you? I know you are not mentioning anything about depression but I think the depression center can be helpful to anyone. Specifically the last few sessions as they relate to core beliefs. You might find it helpful to do these sessions and examine your core beliefs. What do you think? Perhaps you might want to talk to your counselor about it beforehand.

But I want you to know I think you can handle all that has been thrown on your plate now. It is a lot but I know you will fight through it- continue to work on challenging any negativity and you will get throught this.

If you were to look at this whole situation through the perspective of feeling free - what would you be doing differently?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Good insight Teebs,

Mentioning your huge increases in stress would affect anyone, let alone someone with anxiety. I suppose it's as simple as stating what would your life be like without the job and home status change?

The job "fill-in" will pass, and your anxiety will subside as you get used to the sense of being a homeowner.

Congratulations on both life events, by the way! Hope you keep it touch until the bumps subside

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hi Teebs

Don't let that get to you. I don't know why that happens but it does and I have some ideas why but nothing concrete. I do know that it passes although during periods of high stress it can take longer than usual. The important thing is that it does though. This is personal experience talking. I too wondered if it was going to stay, but it didn't. Last summer I went through hell and had to tell myself a few times that I did it before so I can do it again and I was right. There are people that cycle through setbacks every so often and just get used to it and accept them. This actually makes them shorter knowing they will pass.

Davit.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Hi All,

I used to be on here regularly a couple years ago. I worked hard on the program, and with the help of a great counselor I started to put my life back together after a severe bout of panic anxiety that started with a medication withdrawal. I was able to leave the house again, get a part time job, go places by myself, travel with family.

Now this week, after so much work and so much success, I'm experiencing what feels like a terrible setback. I haven't been able to make it through a full work day this week due to anxiety, and feel miserable every night and every morning at home worrying about how I'm going to get through the things I have to do in the upcoming day.

I have been under a lot of additional stress at work as I've been asked to fill in for my boss and am in the process of buying my first home with my long-term boyfriend. I'm wondering if these events have triggered this bad relapse by pushing me past my "tipping point" of what I'm able to handle.

My counselor believes my body is processing a lot of old, pent up anxiety and emotion, triggered by the recent stress I've been under.

I just want to know when I'll feel good again. I've had a few anxiety flare ups over the last 18 months, and always worry that they will start me on a vicious downward spiral, but in the past they have lasted a day or two and I've been able to move on. Now, a week into this one, I'm afraid of losing all the progress I've worked so hard for.

Thanks for reading - helps to get some thoughts out to those who understand!

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A set back after so much progress