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Dreading today

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts, I got through the day and will get through every other memorable date, as I always do, I remember the good times I shared with all my lost loved one, and cherish everyone of those memories. Losing someone so close makes you appreciate the loved ones still with you so much more.

I have been given a second chance at love and yes I am very lucky to have found 2 soul mates in my life when others haven't. I will take on board all the ideas given to me in these posts and hope someday to be able to return the help given.

Keep smiling everyone

you've made it through another day.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hello museluver,

I was reading your post tonight and wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you..I have been a widow for 8 yrs. now and I still have grief for my late husband and the others I have lost. It has changed over the years but I still do think of them often especially during the holidays, Mothers day, Fathers day or their birthdays. Oct 31 was my husbands birthday.

He passed on Nov. 6, 2003, my father passed just before Thanksgiving and my mother on mothers day. It is hard not to miss them on these special days. This has been a hard month for me..

My partner I have now has gone to be with his dear friend and his friends father today..They are both very close friends of his. The one friend is on hospice death watch today and passed away this evening..When he gets home tonight we will cry together and talk and grieve the loss of another person we loved very much..

I think it is a very natural thing to miss the ones we have lost and I do not think we ever really get over it..I think the pain of the loss lessens with time. There is really no correct way to grief or time limit because we all grief in our own way and every loss and set of circumstances around each loss is unique to use as are the ones we lost..

Being a widow I do get afraid when I think of loosing my partner. I think this is because I have already lost a husband and that was the hardest loss for me..I do not think I could bear to loose my partner too..I would miss him dearly.

Red...

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hello museluver,

It is almost eerie how a date on a calendar can really bring out these emotions of sadness in us. I think most of us can relate to a similar experience where an anniversary makes it hard to get through the day and all we can think about is that person or event. I wish you strength and courage to get through these moments. You have received some really great words of wisdom from your fellow members. I am glad to hear that posting here has been beneficial to you, keep posting and checking in often. We are all looking out!

Samantha, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

We lost a friend just a while ago and we did mourn him for a while. We sent a card (big painting) to his kids. Those that could went to his ashes spreading. We lifted a glass to his memory. He is gone and it is a shame he went too soon but it is time to move on. We will remember the good he did and laugh about all he did that was annoying. We inherited a few things from him and they will remind us of him. I have a friend who agrees he was a jerk, but he was our jerk and we will miss him and thoughts of him do make me smile. Last thing he said to me was that I was building my deck wrong. It still is funny. We will plant a tree in his memory in the spring for closure. He is gone but only in body.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 25

Hey Muse,

I can honestly say that I know how you feel. I lost my father figure and my husband as well, and it has been so hard to move forward without them. My father figure passed just before my wedding, and my husband left me without giving me a reason (which was the death of our marriage). Nine years is quite a long time to grieve for a husband. The Jewish practices have a tradition that I learned of that has really helped me; basically they allow a certian amount of time for grieving a loss (usually one month to a year) and then, after grieving whom they have lost, they go on with the rest of their lives celebrating the life that the person who passed on had lived. Perhaps it is time to take off your mourning garb and put on your party clothes and start celebrating the great people/things that you have in your life now?

There is a time for everything, and that chapter for you and your husband closed quite a while ago. It is great that you are open with your new love and that this has brought you both closer, and perhaps that is all of the proof that you need to recognize that he is worthy of your heart now and it is time to move forward in a life with him. Losing people is horrible and tramatic, but you are still here and what you do with your time here is what matter now. Live your life on purpose :) You are blessed that you have this love in your life. Most people can't even find one let alone two... so enjoy him and give yourself permission to be happy :)

Tanya

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Ive been dreading today all year, it's my late dad's birthday, only our 2nd without him and things haven't got any easier. I find myself thinking about all the other loved ones I have lost in my life, especially my husband & nephew. I could feel my heart pounding whilst I was laying in bed last night, then all the familiar feelings came rushing through my body. I tried to think of positive things, like I'm laying here next to my new love and I know my husband would have loved him as my dad did.

Am I being selfish still grieving for my husband when I'm in a new relationship? It's been 9 years surely things should be getting easier. On a more positive note, since beginning this course I have become so open and honest with my partner, don't get me wrong we don't keep secrets and I never lie to him, I mean in respect to my past and the events that have gotten me where I am today.

That said the day has passed uneventfully, no more attacks, I know it is thoughts that set me off, a particular date for example, also I have to return home in 2 days and leave my partner, and I know this usually brings on an attack but if I don't think about it, remind myself I will return in 3 weeks I'm sure I will be fine.

I find writing on here is helping me enormously & thanks to everyone for your kind words and advice.

Until tomorrow keep smiling

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