Thanks everyone. I just came back and read all the responses now. I had already had the discussion with my wife about 2 hours ago before I read any of these. She wasn't mad. She wasn't shocked. I told her I do not think about having sex with any of the women pictured, and she is all I want. She already knew this and knew I would never cheat on her. She has always known I was never into real porn, but knew I liked the page 3 type sites (It's a British thing). In America we are kind of repressed, but in England, they have suggestive poses on page 3 of most of the tabloids.
I told her I was sorry and that I have been carrying trememdous guilt and that having OCD only compounded it.
Funny thing is, my wife was depressed earlier when she was outside watering the lawn. She told me she knew I was upset about something and she figured it was this. I had been giving little hints until I finally built of the nerve to tell her of my guilt feelings.
I know the guilt thing comes from growing up in a house where sex was not openly discussed, but my Father did have Playboys in his closet during his second marriage and that my Mom approved of it. (My Mother died in 1976 and he remarried in 1980).
Anyway, the OCD cannot go away right away and I told my wife we'd probably have this discussion again, but I feel a lot more relieved. I was repressing which was feeding the OCD.
OCD feels like the movie Ground Hog Day sometimes.
You guys are great,
David
