You are pretty close. Let me try to explain it. Your mind records every thing that goes into it but the unimportant stuff gets filed in a junk file. When you are tired your mind wanders into that junk file. You will find yourself thinking about stupid or irrelevant things. This is where you normally store negative thought also. Once you open it, it is hard to close it again. The quickest way to open it is to think, "I haven't been there for a while" and wham there you are. It happens to all of us. The key here is to learn how to close it again. Also when you can't explain something it gets filed here. Like leg cramps which have nothing to do with panic but in this case work as a key to open the panic file.
The cure. Every time you start to think I have leg cramps I am going to panic find something else to associate the cramps with. Like I can't sleep because I ate too late so I'll be Ok in a while. Do anything to keep from going to that area of your mind. Beat up on a pillow if it helps. But what works best is writing how you feel and telling yourself that this is stupid and not real. If you can associate the keys with something positive often enough then they wont work to start panic. Later on when you can do this you want to purposely start panic so you can shut it down and have control of it not it you. If your husband can spot you getting agitated it really helps if he talks you down. He can tell you what you are thinking isn't real. This along with writing are two things that really work.
I am amazed at how much I can relate to what you said because I feel those same things. Sometimes I can go for as long as a month without the anxiety sometimes weeks without thinking about it and the weird thing is, I sometimes remember it and think things like "gee it's been a while without anxiety" and then boom it comes back later that day or the next day. It's like you said you were impressed with how "normal" you felt and then later had the attacks. Right now I too am on here in the middle of the night writing and checking in because I couldn't sleep and felt like I was scared of something or on guard and then my legs kinda tighten up but spasm at the same time. I can't go back to sleep or wake anyone up so I use this as a journalling tool as well and when I wake up in the middle of the night I go on here and write because this is how I let it out. But you are right about the way it comes on because its the same way for me too. I can start to fidget and then I rub my head for sore spots or abnormalies (which makes the anxiety worse if I think I've found something) but I do these things so much when I am starting to feel anxious that my husband knows those signs. Lastly, I have to agree with the others about the lack of sleep piece and the too many things going on. When I go and talk to my psychologist those are two themes she noted that occur in my discussions. Its almost as though when you are tired your mind is too weak to fight the anxiety off.
I find that writing in a journal helps....I have tried doing this even after the fact (since I ussually get panic/anxiety in large crowds)...but even so writing in the journal helps get everything out on paper.
I also find that my anxiety gets worse when I am tired and do not have sleep...I have made getting enough sleep my priority and have really notied a change. I am happier, and obviously have more energy...
Did it help to get on the forum and write? This is what journaling is all about and it doesn't matter if you babble, the important thing is to write it down. Even if you never read it again. Writing puts it in perspective. I would advise you to spend the money on the prescription even if you never ever use it again it will be there and you can hold it in your hand and say "i don't need it". A month is good but it really isn't long enough. Even a year from now panic will be pushing the edges trying to get in but by then you will know how to deal with it. In most cases you will just ignore it. It might not be gone but it will no longer be important. and one day you will realize that it is gone and you are living normal again. It is a good feeling although it can be scary if you let yourself question whether it is coming back. I've been there. I can feel every thing you feel and think, and I'm Ok now so so can you be. And you will be, it just takes time. Keep writing it helps.
I agree with Ladybird, it sure does seem that you have so much going on right now, which would be stressful for anyone. If you feel as if it's getting to be too much, I would definitely suggest talking to your doctor about it. You mentioned that you are only sleeping four hours a night. That is not a lot to go on at all, especially with everything you are going to be doing (school, work and moving!). Getting enough sleep is important for your body and health.
Also make sure you take the time to relax in between everything that you have to do. Take a few minutes for yourself a day, warm yourself up with a tea or go for a walk.
Hopefully today is better for you, let us know how you are doing.
I'm wondering if its because you have such alot going on at once that most people would find even one or two of the things stressful. I find taking time out and deep breathing to centre myself helps as I can deal with other things when I'm feeling a bit more relaxed. Then maybe make a list of things you may need to do with all the changes that are happening and work through them one by one and tick them off as you get them done and it may take a bit of the pressure off and reduce the anxiety. When I have too many things happening at one it can be overwhelming and my anxiety goes through the roof its my indication to slow down take stock and see what needs done around me one thing at a time.
I've been doing well for quite a while (a month or so). Yesterday morning I was actually impressed with how "normal" I was feeling again. Then, yesterday evening I had one of the worst attacks I've had in such a long time. I'm starting school next week, moving to another city, working part-time, and not sleeping more than 4 hours at a time. When I get anxiety I begin to tap my fingers and tug on my hair along with fidgeting. This got really bad last night for about 20-30 minutes. I truly felt like I was going off the deep end. I finally settled down and fell asleep then woke up at 1:00 am. I feel horrible right now. I'm wondering if I need to go to the hospital. My body feels soo tense as if I'm flexing my muscles. Right now, I feel alone since everyone is asleep. I'm not sure what to do right now. Normally, I have Klonepin to take but since I felt I was feeling "normal" I didn't want to fill my prescription.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting from this entry, I'm just reaching out trying to make myself feel better somehow.
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
