My heart goes out to you, depression is really like having a black fog with you all the time, and the anxiety and/or panic makes it even harder to deal with. I've been where you're at, and like you, couldn't see any way forward, no future, everything was just TOO DIFFICULT . But with support, friends, family, this site, good psych help and change of medication, the world slowly became a better place. I hope by now you've seen your pschiatrist, and maybe reviewed your meds, and that hopefully you see that your therapist isn't disappointed in you, because I'm sure she's not. Its YOU thats disappointed in you ! Its so hard when you don't see a way out, and I hope my advice doesn't seem trite to you, but here goes... 1. Sleep, try to make sure you do, its so underated as an aid to well being, but to my mind is absolutely essential. 2. Look after yourself, relax when you can, get out in the sunshine for at least twenty minutes a day if you can, pamper yourself. 3. Occupation, try to immerse yourself in something, anything, a trashy novel, play solitaire on the computer, garden, anything. 4. Don't set goals, i.e I must be better by .., I must only take meds for..., they can come later. 5. Try not to think in terms of failure ( hard I know ), but depression is chemical, its not your choice, but you can and will, I'm sure, find your way out. It takes time, don't beat yourself up about it, please. Use this site, and the other, to share your thoughts, and vent, if thats what you feel like, we've all been there, to some extent, so use us !!! Good luck, you CAN do it