Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

Quit Smoking Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Loved

Browse through 411.768 posts in 47.066 threads.

161,296 Members

Please welcome our newest members: SG1501, Clam123, Blueeyez, DSKEvan22, AN1568

Quote of the Day Part Two


11 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
If change is good and routine is good then which should it be. Both but in small steps. A person needs a routine to give them purpose, but they also need change so it doesn't become stagnant. 
So garden or get away on the weekend, but don't just sit in front of the TV or computer. That isn't change, that is time wasting. 
Yes I am going through change. But I still have a routine to keep me grounded. It just got added to. I now have to do what the other person did also and some of that is before I can do what I want to. But then I did that anyway before the other person came and took some of the load off. The days got longer but not a lot harder. I still can only do what I can do, it just takes longer. I get up earlier and go to bed later, but I do sleep better. That is a plus. And I really look forward to my morning coffee. Breakfast is still the same, it is the rest of the day that varies.

Change is hard if it is a major change, but if you can do it in little steps it is easier. It helps too if you know it is going to happen and can prepare. Like Thomas, I knew for a long time he was dying. I miss him and Theodore misses him but the change is acceptable. But then he was a pet not a person. That would be harder.

Davit
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
                

People don't change their behavior unless it makes a difference for them to do so.
- Fran Tarkenton
 
What resonates with me is "the pain of staying where you are has to be greater than the perceived lesser pain of changing".  On the topic of change also - "only a child looks forward to a wet diaper..."
 
Is anybody out there on the cusp of change?
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it, as long as you really believe 100 percent.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
 
Mind, heart and soul if combined in peace can achieve happiness
 
11 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hugs

I see by your post that you know that it is how you deal with these triggers that dictates how they affect you. Every one of us deals with them different mostly due to previous associations with them. Also some are not logic. Some would only see the spider as something to kill because it might bite. In fact ugly as they are they do eat a lot of bugs. 
Other triggers have other ways of dealing with them. Some I just ignore, some I can not. I avoid the ones that are constant to the extent of changing where and how I live. Others I know have done this too so it is not that unusual. Not everyone can do this, some have responsibilities and have to find other ways of dealing with it. Life is not always easy and I'm not sure it can be with all the other influences. I can only do my best.

Davit
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
- Denis Waitley
 
How I respond to life is key, since there are all these triggers out there which can be hard to deal with.  I could respond to spiders with fear, but embrace them as they fend off ants in the cellar.  Some people are really fearful of spiders.  Organizations and people like to manipulate us by knowing our buttons or responses, and getting what they want unethically through advertising, or just plain bullying.
 
If could learn to be present, then the past memories and future fears wouldn't dominate me.  But I'm human and do the best I can.  Denis Waitley's motivational tapes helped me years ago, and I used his positive outlook on life for quite a while, since he'd consulted with NASA, among his other achievements!
11 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hugs, now that is a fact and what I aim for. Some times I still fall short of what I was originally aiming for but really how much does it matter. One can only do what one can.

Davit.
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.
- Arnold Toynbee
 
Falling short of the goal would then mean success because one had stretched the goal to a goal beyond the goal
11 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Shari

I agree with you but I'm going to add two other things. Perception and belief. Belief is the easier of the two. The other is knowing right from wrong, positive from negative. This is especially important when dealing with core beliefs, and since core beliefs control our lives to a large extent this is important. Being able to spot a large grey dragon among the rest of the shadows is important. Believing you have the power to overcome him is important. And the right Attitude will let you do this. 
CBT is simple in name. Change negative to positive. But the process is individual. It is also the most difficult simple thing you will ever do. Simply because you have to overcome you and all your fears. It is within you to think negative or positive. The choice is yours. And that is where the Attitude comes in. But all three have to work together. 
By all means, do what ever makes you feel good and learn the coping and relaxation skills but don't stop there. Do the whole program because CBT works, but CBT also requires the other things too.
So you people that are just reading, come join us, get your life back too.

Davit.

Living proof that life can throw you a curve and you will not fall apart. There need not ever be a relapse again.
11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
This quote is the key in CBT that we learn here.  It's about replacing negative thoughts with positive true statements and believing them.  The one thing I'd like everyone to know is that CBT is the key to success.  It is the foundation.  Relaxation techniques are a part of the program, but they do not replace completing the course.  Before I came here and cured my panic attacks and managed my anxiety, I tried everything.  Aromatherapy, Yoga, Meditation, etc.  These are all good, mind you, but they do not cure or manage panic and anxiety, the program does.  The above mentioned helps and is an aid in feeling better, but it's not the key and it will not work without CBT.  My most recent post on the gardening thread mentions how great I feel and I'm getting weekly massages.  I just didn't want anyone to think that if they went out and got weekly massages that it replaces doing the program.  It just doesn't work that way.  I am well, because of doing the entire program, practicing it on a daily basis by replacing negative with positive.  I'm at a place where I am panic free and have been for 3 years since taking this program and I manage anxiety when it arises.  I have my life back and I am grateful to the program, support group and health educators.  All 3 are needed for success, because, I also tried CBT from a book and panic came back after a year, because I did not have the support group and health educators. I just thought these are important thing to know, whether you are new or have been on the site awhile.  CBT does work; it is key in getting well.  I am living proof and so are others who post here too.

Shari
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.
- Tom Bland


 
                         


Reading this thread: