I find that what makes me panic the most is not having an easy escape, and this applies to pretty much every situation I avoid. With shopping centres, or malls as they're called in America, it's not how busy the shop is but how far away from an exit a particular store is what frightens me the most. I'm worried that if I have a panic attack or start to feel faint or nauseous, all of which have happened, I won't be able to escape the shopping centre and I'll throw up or faint or everyone will notice that I'm feeling anxious and make a big deal of it, which will make me panic more. I think the whole escaping part of it is that when I'm in the fresh air, I start to feel better. And also, if I vomit or faint or whatever in the car park, it won't be as embarrassing and it'll be easier to clean up.
I find that these worries are always with me, even when I'm doing well. When I go shopping and am walking around for a while, and don't really eat much while I'm there, my blood sugar tends to drop which makes me feel nauseous and faint etc. and I always make sure I'm prepared for that with a bottle of water and a source of sugar. At the times when I don't listen to my anxiety as much, this doesn't stop me from going out. I generally don't even think about it, just take my bag and go.
But at times when I'm struggling, as I have been for quite a while now, I start to catastrophise the situation. Such as I tend to think, "I couldn't bear having another panic attack" or "It's too much of a risk. What if I go into the shops thinking I'm okay but once I get in there I start to feel really sick?"
It's hard because it feels like just as I start taking those gradual steps, I really do become sick and then I'm back to square one. I will have to keep moving on though. You feel sick for a while, but once you feel better again, you move on. It isn't worthwhile to dwell on it forever :)
Shari, your story with the driving is really great. Good on you!
I feel very comfortable and confident, because I have learned all of the coping skills here and they work. The coping skills have helped me in all areas of my life, not just with anxiety. Identifying triggers helped me the most, followed by the coping skills, and then the relaxation techniques. I had read a book on panic attacks using CBT, the year before I found this site, and the panic came back. I'm convinced that this CBT program, with the additional help of the Health Educator's and support group, was key in overcoming panic and managing anxiety. I could ask questions specific to my situation, and felt that other people understood, and I learned a lot from the way other people handled their panic and anxiety.
It sounds like you have come a long way in learning about what causes you panic & anxiety and how you handle it. How would you describe how you feel now that you are more in control of how you handle situations that once triggered panic & anxiety?
I used to have panic attacks in cars for a few reasons. One, I was claustrophobic (I still have to manage anxiety sometimes) and I felt trapped at red lights and in traffic, because I couldn't control it; agoraphobia. I learned from this program that it wasn't the car causing panic attacks, I just associated panic with being in the car and misplaced the cause onto the car. It was really fear of the next panic attack (panic disorder). What you said is so true, it's not the situation, it's your response to the situation. I can either believe the negative thoughts and panic or replace those thoughts with positive truths and talk my self into a calm state and not panic. I know it's true, because I've done both and have experienced both. Fortunately, I choose the latter and they have become a rare occurrence, the anxiety that is, I don't panic anymore.
Fact: Although anxiety may occur in association with a particular event or situation, the situation itself does not cause an anxiety attack. Rather, the manner in which a person responds to a situation or to feelings of anxiety, determines whether the anxiety symptoms subside or intensify.
What situations provoke you to become anxious and why?
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