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What are my anxious thoughts?


11 years ago 0 101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
A person is borned with some inbuilt charasteristics which resembles like foundation of a building. They may be strong or weak also.I recognize some negative in my personality as lack of concentration,difficult to take decision/state of confusion,emotional,development of fear in challanging situations.
I recall all of these when I was a high school student in 1995.I analyze myself and found that when ever there exist some tough time/challange situation,all of these tends to get heavier on me.Whenever I tried to resist these characteristics in a challanging situation,the result is panic attack & anxiety.
Should I conclude that my foundations are weak due to these characteristics & I have to live with that till my life?

rohit
12 years ago 0 1853 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi rohit131, 
 
Sunny and Davit have both offered wonderful advice.  
I'm glad to hear you are taking time for yourself and working through the program.
It's important to focus on the present moment and work on goals as you move ahead in your journey through life.  Write out all the options you have, whatever may come to mind.  Create a vision board.
Post images, quotes, ideas that you connect with.  Things that you would like to pursue or have in your life.  This activity helps keep you focused and gives you a goal to work towards.
As far as working through the program, my suggestion is to never give up!  The more you work at it, the more insight you will gain..
Keep us posted as to how you are doing!
Vincenza, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Okay, setbacks! Compared to how you are coping now setbacks are pretty minor right. They come and they go and after a while they just become a little like a head ache. Sort of ho hum, you know they will pass The difference is that they become fewer and fewer if you don't dwell on them. How much you dwell on them dictates how often they will happen.
As for getting your old life back. You can't go back only forward. This condition you have now is part of the old life and will always be there just like every other memory you have, good and bad. Dealing with it is a little like dealing with embarrassing moments in your life. Forget them, you can't change them. I know it is not that easy. This does work though. 
What you are trying for is to shut down the anxious moments as soon as they happen but if you are very tired and your guard is down then you need all the coping skills you will learn here to get through those moments.
These are not set backs but conditioning that comes from living with the present condition. They are also turning into core beliefs that are telling you things that are not true such as that you will not get better. Not true, you have every chance of living a normal life. And keep in mind life always has it's ups and downs.
Exposure is a two edged sword. It can help you build skills to cope or pushed to hard it can give you set backs. I prefer to use it as a test to see how well my coping skills are doing. 
If you look at normal people you will see that they use all the coping skills you need to learn and probably used to use before this condition took over. They do it automatic and subconscious and although you can spot them, they don't usually notice they are doing it.
Distraction is one of the most common skills people use. That along with relaxation skills are coping skills we all use. CBT is conditioning that makes the use of them less necessary. How much less depends on how well you take to CBT. 
Any thing to get your mind off unwanted thoughts works. Distractions can be any thing such as looking at the floor or out a window to counting. Reading licence plates in traffic, counting different coloured cars. Imagining the people in a lineup or lecture as different breeds of dogs. You pick it, only you can know what works for you. If this seems like cheating it isn't, it is coping till the CBT changes your thought patterns.

Davit.
12 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi rohit 131:  I'm not sure it means you should give up on your career of choice.  I think that right now you are feeling stressed out and less confident than usual.  I think it has eroded some of your self esteem.  CBT will help you with all of the above.  Pls. don't give up.  
How far along are you in the program?  Have you practiced the relaxation exercises faithfully, every day.  They will become second nature to you when you feel stressed at work.  Be gentle with yourself, give yourself time to study this program and do the homework.  It will take some time, it does not happen in a weekend.  Little by little you will see improvements.  You will know yourself better and what triggers your anxiety.  You will have better understanding and know how to deal with it.  
I remember when I was doing the CBT program (I often review it when I need a refresher) I was feeling very tired and exhausted.  I limited my other activities so I could rest my body and my mind.  Take very good care of yourself, eat nutritiously, get some good sleep, and have patience.  
Some of us find other ways to relaxation - massage therapy, yoga, etc.  I see that you practice yoga.  Perhaps something different will be helpful.  
Setbacks do and will happen.  That is o.k.  You will see as you go along the program that these setbacks will be fewer and fewer in between.  Sometimes it is like one step forward and two steps back.  As you progress you will see two steps forward and only one step back.  Then it gets even better.
Hang in there, and keep posting.  Ask questions, we are here to support you.  We all started at Step No. 1, Chapter 1.

Sunny
12 years ago 0 101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Davit & Hugs,
Should I believe that its now difficult for me to again reach to a life where I feel proud of my salary & position in society??
Is this a time to realize that my capabilites are limited & I have to learn myself happy in less & limited version?
I fear exposing myself to challanges & work.Does it mean there is now end to my one phase of life & I should try on other carrer options.
I daily read some good quotes whenever I opened this site.Sometimes I think I should give one more try for a good option.
But then I feel a fear of setback.Tough time yet it will also pass & days of happiness will come again-A hope.
rohit
12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Those are core beliefs, so what do you, do about them.

Davit.


12 years ago 0 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You give great advice.
12 years ago 0 101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The biggest hurdle in your path comes when you have lost all your faith from yourselves and starts beliving that you are made for nothing.Situation becomes more worse when you find unable to take any decision about your future.Identifying the root causes of your defeat & taking correct measures to gain something is a big challange. 

rohit131


12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
CBT will work but can you use it when the pressure gets too much? Your personality may be not the right type for the job. CBT will have limited use if you are against yourself. Even normal people crash and burn when the load is too much. Is it worth it? For me it wasn't. I changed my priorities, down scaled and settled for less and have never been sorry that I did. Richer I could have been but happier I can't say. I have RA, more money would have limited effect on my happiness.

If you do go back to a high pressure job make sure you have an escape plan. One for each day and one for the future. I used to have a seasonal job unloading barges for up to 16 hours a day when they were in dock.
But there was a mark on the calendar when the job was done for that year. There was a feeling of loss on the last day but it passed. The money was good but it was obvious I was getting addicted to the stress and that it was not good for my health, mental and physical. Days off I spent on the water or fishing, recharging my batteries for the next run. And I never ever spent time off in the bar. I still don't though I used to be in a group that played pool. One beer to be sociable. Pool was the escape not beer and I kept it that way. No way was I changing one stress for a worse one. 
For everyone there is a right job, it just may not be the one you want but the one you need, and not for the money. Such a shame there is so much pressure now and it is so hard to make ends meet. Or is that meat?

Davit.
12 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
BTW - beautiful pic, as are many of the other members pics like Kaitie, Shari, Davit, Sunny, Red, too many to list!  It's like Christmas for the eyes 

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