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My Therapist called me "Crazy"

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My Therapist called me "Crazy"

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hi again Debora..

There is something I would like to add to my previous post to you and a question..Have you thought about journaling? You don't have to answer this question here. It is just something that I thought might help you..Journaling can be used as a form of self talk. You can write out all the feeling and fears that you are having and than turn around and challenge those anxious thoughts and fears and begin to replace them with positive thoughts..Is this something you are willing to try?

There are some of here that have started journaling as a form of therapy..It helps us to understand ourselves better..It's a idea you might want to consider..The decision is all yours..as is the panic and fear..Only you can change the way you feel. Only you can do the work necessary to get better...

Red...

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Good Morning Debora...

I understand that you are scared..It is a horrible feeling to be scared..I am scared too..I didn't want to go to the doctor either.

So many What IF's to think about..but you know what, if I had not gone to see the doctors they would not have been able to help me to get better..Yes I am still scared Yes they did find something wrong in my case and I still have more problems to deal with but if I hadn't taken that first scary step I would never have know and than I would have ended up in the hospital.

So I am glad I went to see a doctor and that I am getting the help I need..I am not sure how it will turn out yet and I still have lots of questions to ask on my next visit and other problem to addresses too..and yes I am still scared of the unknown..I am taking it one step at a time and my doctor and I are working on getting me well..One small step at a time..We just can't fix everything all at once...First things first...Like getting to a doctor..

All of the What If thinking really doesn't help in the end..So that is what I am challenging now, All The What If's.....

Red.....

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie and Hugs,

I just saw you're posts, I cannot sleep I am so very nervous about going to the doctor or GYN. I am terrified of ovarian cancer, I wish I never read about it, I have a lot of the symptoms, constant burping, gas, stomach and pelvic pain and tiredness, I know they can be signs of other things but I was so scared to see I have four out of the six symptoms, and I read about risk factor, I had my child at 29, started my monthly at age twelve and I am overweight three big risk factors, I also read that some sanitary napkin companies put talac powder in pads and that is a risk?! I have been using those all my life. I dont know what I am going to do if I have stage 3 or 4 ovarian cancer, they say the prognosis is not good, my stomach has been hurting for over a month and the gas and burping are worse, I am so terrified I cant sleep or eat, I dont want to die and leave my son, I should of gone for a pelvic instead of waiting three years since my last one, I feel so stupid, both sides of my ovaries hurt and I am just hoping its cysts or endometriois or IBS, I know the fear makes it worse, some GYN appts take a few weeks, I was so hoping the symptoms would go away, can anxiety cause my symptoms? I cant believe they can do that.

I sound hysterical I am sorry. I read too much. I just hope its something they can take care of, I'm so afraid of doctors.

Carmie I am so glad you are going on vacation, you deserve it and I am praying you will have, and I know you will a wonderful safe trip, I will put angels on you're fenders! We are having a cold front here right now Carmie, its in the forties if you can believe that, but its going to warm up mid-week and be warm and balmy, just the right weather for you're trip, I don't know what part you are going to, Orlando? but Florida is going to warm up so you can swim and sunbathe, please dont cancel the trip I want you to go and have a terrific time, I know you will!! Hugs is right about the pictures I dont know how to do that on the computer, my son does it through. I will try to be brave too Carmie like you, I hope I can do it.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Carmie,

Hope you can post a pic of the Florida sun & splash holiday

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi Debora!

I was happy to see your update. I don't think that you were posting too much. You were going through a really rough time.

I know that making the appointment is really difficult. It will be so great to read that you found the strength to be able to achieve your goal. You have to believe in yourself. You can do this! Have you read the exposure section? It could help you to come up with a plan.

I will share that I am very afraid of driving to Florida on Thursday. We've talked about cancelling the trip. I am going to work journaling this week to prepare myself. I have to fill my backpack back up with positive thoughts - it's my tried and true way to combat the negative thoughts. I hope that I'll be able to work everything out by Thursday. Make that, I know that I'll be able to work everything out by Thursday!

Good luck, Deb! You will feel so good if you make some steps towards this goal!!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you all for you're replies, my computer was acting up and I could not post for awhile, I have been posting so much lately maybe that was good, sometimes I think I complain and vent too much, I know others need help on this site too and I so hope and pray we all get better very soon. Thank you all for being concerned and all you're help and advice it so much helps me.

I have not panicked in about a week I feel instead very depressed, still very anxious too, the two together are not good. I know what I am dreading and agonizing about, I tried to make a GYN appt and I could NOT do it, I started shaking and getting very upset so I just stopped, hopefully next week I can do it, my problems is I cannot find anyone in the evening that is open, its hard for me during the day because of transportation, and I have this "day agorophobia" I cannot seem to leave the house during the day when the sun is bright its so bright and light and hurts my eyes and makes me dizzy even with sunglasses, if I can find someone in the evening I know I would probably go, it would be much easier but no luck yet.

I can always go to urgent care of ER, in fact I would prefer that, that way if they give me bad news and I pass out they can revive me, I know that sounds like a joke but its not, its how I feel inside, I am so afraid of what they are going to tell me, if its bad news I know I will collaspe, its like I am putting it off so I will not fall completely apart, but that is not good either because if its bad its best too catch it earlier, I am praying for the strength to go, and I need a physical too, those chest pain last week really shook me up, I have been walking one dog at a time and that helps, maybe all the pulling of two big dogs pulled some chest muscles, at least that is what I am trying too think, instead of something worse. My son has been acting up a lot lately and my husband is tired to deal with it, it has been very stressful here at home but somehow I am dealing with it.

I hope I can write I made an appt, I want to so much but I dont want to get halfway there and cannot do it, this is gonna be a real toughie for me I know. Thank you all for writing me I am looking forward too hearing back from all of you. Thank you..

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Hi Deb,

Hope you're doing well. I had to start a separate thread, since I don't wish to subtract from yours. You're in our prayers...always

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 28

Hey Debora,

I haven't had much of a chance to read the forums lately as I'm trying to keep up with the CBT. I just can't believe your therapist said that to you and that is just unethically wrong. Reminds me of some unethically wrong things my spine surgeon said to me last year to which I finally left out of his care and asked him to refer me over to Pain Management. Get this, after months after the surgery and still having pain issues, he had the audacity to tell me that he is no longer placing any limits on what I can do and that I should be healed enough to play pro-football. I was appalled! Anyway I know you've mentioned wanting to find another therapist and preferably a female. Given your other issues that are female related, a female therapist would be more understanding and realize that this cycle in a woman's life causes anxiety which just adds to the anxiety you are already experiencing.

I am glad to see you got out to walk the dog. That's a step and however how long it takes to take more steps, to do a little more each time. I know you can do it. We are all on here cheering for you and you have been in my prayers. I totally understand the fear of making that appt. to the OB-GYN as it took me months to finally do it and get it over with. Do you have any lavender oil you can add to a nice soak in the tub? Lavender has a calming affect. I have to soak in dead sea salt every morning for my pain anyway but I add a few drops of the lavender oil, bring my laptop in with some relaxing music and just lay there relaxed for 20 minutes. I don't even want to come out when the timer goes off :)

Keep doing what you are doing.....at baby steps and you will be amazed as time goes by if you look back at your progress. I have faith in you to do this!

Donna

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Debora,

I am so glad you are feeling a little better..Good for you for getting past your fear and going for a walk today..I really enjoyed reading your post it is filled with so many positive thought..Your are doing it Debora, your replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones..Congratulations....Oh by the way I didn't have pelvic ultra sound today..I had a CT scan..I will post about it later..

Red...

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi D: You can do this D. We are all here holding your hand. We are with you in spirit and will support you through the tough times and we will celebrate your success too. Just go for it. Sometimes before calling - 'cause I used to be so nervous about making appointments too - I'd do a relaxation first, say a prayer or two and just do it. Then I would worry about the coming appt. but knew that I had done the right thing. I'd remember my goal which was to just get it over with. Later, I would relax, I told myself. Reward myself afterward? You bet, have lunch out or if the anxiety caused exhaustion, just have a good cup of tea with a nap. I figured I deserved it. I wanted to get better, same as you do, but we know we have to do the work for ourselves. You are stronger than you think, you've been struggling and living with this for about a year and you are able to talk about it.

A lot of this is anticipatory anxiety and once you are there, you'll probably do well enough to be able to communicate all your worriesome concerns with your doctor. I used to write some things down to remind myself because being anxious I would easily forget.

Thinking of you and still saying a prayer every day for you,

Sunny

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My Therapist called me "Crazy"