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Fear of driving, I need help :/

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Fear of driving, I need help :/

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Starbucks.

Buspar is a good medication for anxiety.

Did you ever question why you can't be in the car? You can't fix something if you don't know why it is broke. Saying you are anxious is only half an answer. Why does it make you anxious. I bet you will find lots of triggers and I bet you will also find you have limited control or none over them. Triggers can be traffic, stop lights, four way stops, speed limits, other cars in your lane. Other distractions like people talking, too warm, too cold. The one thing all these things have in common is that they or someone else has control of the situation. Sounds too simple right. Think about it, if you had control of all these things you could drive without a care. Well you can't but you can control how you perceive them. And you can control your thoughts about them. CBT is about turning thoughts around to your advantage.

Congratulations on the exposure. It works better if you know why you are doing it though.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Star,

You are already doing it!

Continue with your exposure work!

You have taken the first steps and you successfully complete a 1/2 drive with little anxiety. This is amazing!

Be proud and move forward!

Josie, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Well i was able to do a half an hour drive the other day, with a low level of anxiety about it. But im starting on this new medication, Buspar, in order to help reduce overall anxiety. I know medication isnt the answer, but I feel if I let this go on any farther, I will be completely isolated to my house, and the idea of losing my jobs ( i have two ) scares the crap out of me. A big thing is, I don't want to let down my friends. They always want to travel somewhere, and I never can, because Im too scared to be in the car. What could the first step towards improvement be? What would you suggest.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Thank you Davit,

Influencing is a good synonym for control, and the locus literature described a correlation between dissonance and a feeling of less control. Sometimes we use words so often they lose their meaning. It helps when someone defines it, since it has more relevance.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs

Never thought about how to define control. By definition it would be influencing the outcome. Eg. A thermostat makes adjustments to control the temperature by influencing the heating and cooling sources. Similarly thought controls your actions and reactions by influencing your actions. (thought triangle) (shopping bag) Therefore control could be negative or positive influencing the outcome. Unfortunately this is not black and white because control can be influenced by other factors such as attitude, mood, perception, food, drugs and surroundings. But all of these can be negative or positive. EG. morphine is negative during withdrawal, but positive while it works. Ativan is negative on rebound but positive while it works. Coffee is negative when it leaves your system or when too heavily consumed but positive when first ingested. Sad can be either depending on whether it is a funeral or a wedding. Snow can be either depending how you feel about it.

Taking back control is using thought to change the negative effects of the above by replacing them with something positive. The distractions and other coping skills are just to stop the negative thoughts from recycling and allow time to replace them with positive ones. There is a work sheet on the net based on the thought triangle that shows a way of doing this. The work sheet triangle is different than the definition triangle.

There is one other factor. Anxiety (negativity) caused by medication has to be controlled by medication or rode out because it blocks the ability to use thought to change it. Pain killers and some antibiotics being the worst culprits. CBT can lessen the effects but not totally change the effects. This is why it is recommended that beginners stop all caffeine and unnecessary OTC meds.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs

Locus of control is interesting even if it is not what I was talking about. I can see though where either internals or externals could have a different concept of control. I would guess you are an external and I am an internal by your posts.

I think externals have more anxiety because of the larger influence around them. This was mentioned also in the articles I read. They didn't mention fitting in the middle but I think there could be some who do. More controlling factors that may influence how a person does CBT.

What do you think?

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Davit or Tanya,

How do you define "control"?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs,

Sorry, I don't understand your question.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Tanya & Davit,

How do see "control" as an issue? I read some interestig stuff years ago about "locus of control", but your personal experience is more relevant than a theory

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Tanya

It does take time and I will admit I need to spend more time with the distractions in a bigger centre. I do things like reading licence plates or comparing storefronts. Another good one is to look at people and think of what kind of dog they look like. Greyhounds, bulldogs, little yappers. After awhile you get conditioned to blank out all the unnecessary distractions that are causing pressure with out getting the tunnel vision. Before I had Arthritis so bad I used to love to shoulder check and weave in and out of the traffic and like you I had no trouble visiting big cities but unlike you I couldn't live there. I love the country and my garden too much.

All I have mentioned are CBT coping skills and I hope they work for you as well as they did for me.

Davit.

Ps. There is one other technique but I don't recommend it. It is using anger for a distraction and focus. It works but you need a way to wind down from it after or you will end your day negative.

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Fear of driving, I need help :/