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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hi Davit,,

Just got back had a country breakfast waiting for me...I was writing my last post while you were posting yours and hadn't read yours yet before posting mine..Anyway it sounds like you may have read my post in the depression center from yesterday.Or maybe you are picking up on my thoughts..One thing I know for sure is that it has really helped me having someone to talk to who understands because they have been there themselves and Know what it means when someone says " The easy way out" and that even though live is hard sometimes because of our disabilities or circumstances, life is still worth living..Things usually get better the next day or even in the same day..For instance having a friend to talk to who cares and understands like you, or little things like having a great cup of coffee or a warm cup of tea or a big country breakfast..Or may be just watching the birds and listening to them sing..This are all great reasons to want to be here and enjoy our life's..Because we really do want to live and we really are enjoying our life's...We may have a bad day but thats all it is a bad day. It will get better as long as we keep trying and look for the positive in our lives that are right in front of us..

Well go to get another cup of coffee..

Your friend,

Red...

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Davit,

Right on. I agree totally cbt does work and like you I came here to get help and to change for the better. This program has helped me in so many way I could not list them all here..I started having issues with depression and anger again plus anxiety and panic not to mention the ptsd..Thats why I came back for help..I would like to discuss the reasons for the anger too and include the depression or sad thoughts also if need be. I know I work in the depression center also but for me these things are intertwined in some way. You are so right we have to want to change and talk things out and with that in mind anything is possible..Thanks for your thought provoking post as always..

Red.....

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red

I have made a study of "taking the easy way out" and those five words say it all and interestingly enough are not used by people who don't understand. For those it is still called suicide and is spoken with a bad taste in their mouth.

When I was in the psych ward there were a number of failed suicides there. They all said the same thing. Not "I was depressed" but "it seemed like the thing to do at the time". I felt like that too even though I never made the attempt. It seems then that the thing to do is to remove the reason to feel like "it is the thing to do". We both have health problems making life less than desirable. I get a little tired of hearing people say "I don't know how you go on, I wouldn't". How can they know when there is nothing wrong with them.

I would not lie here where people are looking for help and direction. I feel some days that taking the easy way out is the solution. It really isn't since we do not know what tomorrow brings. Usually it is my pride talking. Money worries can bring this on. But I've found by studying the day after such thoughts that there is a lot to live for. Or in the case of rainy days like today still a little. CBT teaches us to look for the positive in every situation. The positive to thinking suicidal is that I'm going to see and enjoy the time when I am not, something I might not have. Some one wise said, once you decide to kill yourself, does it matter if you put it off. Why not live a little first. In fact why not just live. The option is still there.

I do know though that depression does play a roll and just being real sad can bring on that feeling that life isn't worth living. It is just a feeling it is not true. One thing to remember is that like pain the actual feeling does not get stored in memory. Tomorrow does not have to have that feeling. With a little CBT today doesn't have to.

Another thing people said was "I feel like I'm wasting my life". Ending it would sure be a bigger waste. My biggest reason was to get away from the panic attacks, but then I did not know that CBT could and would end the panic attacks. Just think, I could have wasted a life for nothing.

And now I'm going to get a coffee cause I can drink a few again. Just not after lunch.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Davit,

You are a very compassionate and understanding person and I am glad you are here..

Red.....

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Was Ghandi pretending to be a prophet?

I thought he was just a wise man (holy man) trying to take his country back from the thieving British without getting them all killed. Just like we had to here in Canada.

I have a large capacity to forgive but that does not mean others do to. Therefore I try not to anger people because they may not see it as an emotion realistic to the situation. Therefore I am stuck with finding a way to do away with the anger. Practice makes perfect. I'm good at letting go of anger. So I probably don't belong in this thread. When anger flares in me it lasts but seconds. Unfortunately when I'm tired that is long enough to say something I have to atone for. I'd rather not do that. I'd rather discuss the reason for anger in a rational way if possible. If not, because the other person refuses to then it is not my problem and I drop it. People that are chronically angry I avoid if possible and if not well here is where intentional dissociation comes in. I don't listen to their anger. Even if it is aimed at me. Yes it can be done if you want to. If you need to.

I was not always this way, I am now because I want to be. One thing having a panic disorder and treating it with CBT has taught me is that you can change anything if you want to and if you try hard enough. Even anger.

Some people just are not psychologically capable of doing this, some people just don't want to. They are comfortable with the way they are.

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I wasn't referring to this website, when talking about an audience. Everyday life, for example at the grocery store or in the parking lot or at church or being out socially and encountering a situation where one can interact and have situations when anger might arise, is in my estimation, legitate as a time for expression.

Bottling anger in, and procrastinating it until it blows disproportionately, or pretending to be prophet like Ghandi hasn't worked for me. Depression or hostility are not helpful to anyone.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs,

You do have a receptive audience. Anger is an emotion, violence is an action. One can cause the other. Movies substitute violence for anger. I can't think of a movie where anger is not translated into violence or intent. There must be one, I just can't think of one. Do you think this is the problem. We are taught to associate the two when the outcome of anger does not have to be violence. Ghandi showed this with passive resistance. You can be angry and use that anger constructively. You can use anger to be assertive. Or you can use anger to be aggressive. The choice is ours.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I guess I was attempting to say that anger is justified as an emotion, but has a lot of bad press. Many cultures, including organizational ones, suppress our anger too, so that makes it worse.

I find that just writing on this forum is hard, so imagine how difficult it is expressing my emotion.

I've been struggling trying to read a book called the "Angry Christian", who's author attempts to describe the legitamcy of anger compared to grief or fear, which also serve a purpose. The author Bert Ghezzi, suggests that anger "...is meant to mobilize us for accomplishing things that demand effort and to equip us to fight through obstacles to what is right and good...".

I'm just missing the value of including anger in our daily conversation, just as we include all other emotions.

Why do we have to banish anger to therapeutic offices, secret journals, gymnasiums, shooting ranges and Greek/Jewish wedding rituals where cooking utensils are wasted?

I think my life would have been easier if I had that knack of putting out there. Of course, one needs a receptive audience and that may be the catch

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Sorry, I meant destructive to ones self, not like in pounding on someone. But yes there certainly are times when it is justified. 58 million people died due to anger in the second world war. All it did was improve the economy. (there was work repairing the damage and women got into the work force) Did we have any choice, and was it justified. I don't know but I might have picked up a stick and joined the fray.

If I did I would like to think it was with assertion not aggression.

Davit. Bored and having tea.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I meant "the right" instead of "the reason" below.

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