Red
I have made a study of "taking the easy way out" and those five words say it all and interestingly enough are not used by people who don't understand. For those it is still called suicide and is spoken with a bad taste in their mouth.
When I was in the psych ward there were a number of failed suicides there. They all said the same thing. Not "I was depressed" but "it seemed like the thing to do at the time". I felt like that too even though I never made the attempt. It seems then that the thing to do is to remove the reason to feel like "it is the thing to do". We both have health problems making life less than desirable. I get a little tired of hearing people say "I don't know how you go on, I wouldn't". How can they know when there is nothing wrong with them.
I would not lie here where people are looking for help and direction. I feel some days that taking the easy way out is the solution. It really isn't since we do not know what tomorrow brings. Usually it is my pride talking. Money worries can bring this on. But I've found by studying the day after such thoughts that there is a lot to live for. Or in the case of rainy days like today still a little. CBT teaches us to look for the positive in every situation. The positive to thinking suicidal is that I'm going to see and enjoy the time when I am not, something I might not have. Some one wise said, once you decide to kill yourself, does it matter if you put it off. Why not live a little first. In fact why not just live. The option is still there.
I do know though that depression does play a roll and just being real sad can bring on that feeling that life isn't worth living. It is just a feeling it is not true. One thing to remember is that like pain the actual feeling does not get stored in memory. Tomorrow does not have to have that feeling. With a little CBT today doesn't have to.
Another thing people said was "I feel like I'm wasting my life". Ending it would sure be a bigger waste. My biggest reason was to get away from the panic attacks, but then I did not know that CBT could and would end the panic attacks. Just think, I could have wasted a life for nothing.
And now I'm going to get a coffee cause I can drink a few again. Just not after lunch.
Davit.