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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: Yes, I remember not trusting my new found peace. Kept waiting for the panic to come back, kept vigilant on my symptoms. the first twinge of a racing heart and I would think, oh oh, it's coming again - a negative thought. But that does pass, as you get better, you will see that a racing heart (or whatever symptom comes up) doesn't mean anything at all except maybe you are tired or stressed or maybe even excited about something. We do have stress in our lives, part of living, can't get rid of it. It's how we react to it that counts. When you are exhausted and not well, it's easier for the stress/anxiety to get to you. Keep practicing the deep breathing and relaxation techniques. They come in handy when you need them to sooth the body when you do get a symptom or two. And remember the positive self talk. Change that negative thought to a positive thought right away. A symptom doesn't have to mean a panic attack. What can you do when you get symptoms? I found what worked for me to relax myself. That's what you have to find for you. What works, what doesn't.

I remember too, I did nap a lot which was o.k. I gave myself permission to rest when needed. It can mess up your night sleep though, so I tried to keep it short.

Hope you have a good day,

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Bren Sunny and Davit for you're replies. I tend to think it was a bit of a fever, I took it a couple times and it was like 99.7 then 99.5 etc..... low-grade, I had not been out in awhile and I did go to the store Saturday and I noticed someone coughing bad so hopefully I just caught a touch of something, I tried to eat good tonight, drank lots of OJ and water and took a nap, it made me very nervous I almost had an attack around 6:00 pm but I took a half of klonopin and breathed and it never progressed to a full-blown for which I am grateful, I am still a little shaky and nervous, I hate being sick because I am usually all alone and then it tends to lead to panic, tonight I am very very tired and achy {Sunny explained thats part of the condition being exhausted after all these months of panic} I hope whatever it was its gone, I have been doing better than I have in nine months and I would hate to "fall back in the black hole" so to speak, I guess what I am trying to say it has only been less than two weeks since I started feeling a little better, and I guess I am still "green" not secure enough to trust myself to avoid panic and fear, does that make sense? I wish I could get my energy back I am so tired all the time, I am tired all day and when I try to sleep it takes hours to fall asleep and I sleep too much during the day, I need to change that everyone says but easier said than done, I wish I could ignore the body symptoms more and not dwell so much on them, thats when the fear comes in I think. I just hope this is a temporary setback and it improves, it felt SO good not having those horrific attacks for a short awhile, I just need to work harder and get better, my son needs me and if for no other reason on earth for him. Thank you all for caring and replies, they so help me and give me hope!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Being cold and shivering in a warm room is a symptom of panic as is the opposite sweating in the cold. Another is sitting on the toilet but not capable of doing anything but feeling you have too. So is pacing, not being able to sit still. These things are easier to deal with if you just accept them as part of the panic and a nuisance rather than an actual problem. I used to just grab a blanket and wait it out. Or if I was to hot I would go outside and look around. Still when I could not sit still for three hours it was scary. Information was my biggest help here. Knowing that it was normal even if panic attacks are not really helped. Accepting that they were going to happen and not fighting them helped too. This shortened them but journaling when and while they happened reduced them the most.

Davit. Been there, done that. Not anymore.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: Sorry you aren't feeling well. You know, you could very well have a slight fever from some bug you caught. Doesn't mean your body can't handle it. Probably can and will. So let it do its work. Drink lots of fluids. (Listen to Mummy Sunny here, lol. I'm a bit older than you).

Glad you are handling the symptoms much better, no panic attack. You're progressing!

Speaking of chills though, I do know that when agitated and anxious I can get those shakes. It does pass. So just take care of yourself when it happens. Have a nice cup of hot tea, herbal if you like. Sometimes the hot flushes occur first, then the chills. I've heard others experiencing this too. This would be a good time to do the relaxation exercises. The progressive muscle relaxation and the box breathing. I often use the box breathing, just seems to get me back on track. And positive self talk helps a lot. Such as "It's just a sore throat (whatever you are feeling), it is normal for people to get sore throats once in awhile, it will pass. It will be alright, I'll drink lots of fluids, by resting I am helping my body take care of this".

Do you like reading? This is a great way to distract yourself when anxious. I sometimes get lost in a story or history books. It really helps me to forget my worries. Can you telephone a friend for a little chat, then you wouldn't feel quite so alone.

I had a friend who never took even a Tylenol without calling me first. We would just chat while she took it and she said she felt safer having me on the line while taking it. I didn't mind doing it. I was glad I could help.

keep the faith,

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 424

I am so sorry your feeling so bad!

I hope you feel better soon!

Bren

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Sunny, I was hoping you would be online. I just had a very anxious episode almost a panic but was able to control it, it was hard but I managed, your replies always are helpful, thank you. I know why I almost had an attack, as you were correct it started about my health, I went to bed last night with a slight sore throat and headache, I tried not to dwell on it and talked to myself about a good night sleep helping, after I saw my son off to school, I laid back down and an hour later I woke up shivering with fever! I had to grab a warm blanket and wrap myself, my house was NOT cold about 79 degrees, I was really scared I was alone and sick, I started having all these what if thoughts like a horrible infection or virus or some other awful thing, I am never cold and that scared me, the fever seems to be over now but I was very shaky all day thinking I am getting sick and have to handle it alone. I am so glad I did not have a full blown attack yet, I hope the symptoms do not return nothing is more terrrifying to me than being sick and being alone. I am glad I managed to calm down somewhat for now.

I do have to make some appt's you are correct, I am hoping to get stronger and more coping skills and calm, last time I went to the doctor the nurse was upset I was so shaky and nervous, they do not like to put up with that I know, I need so many tests and I am just trying to get emotionally healthy enough to go. I might of just caught a small bug that worked itself through me so I am trying not to worry. This is how my meltdown happened last time, I had a series of bad health problems {broncitis, cyst bursting, blood clot} and I totally fell apart, I guess my main fear is getting really physcially sick and mentally breaking down again, I am praying that will not be the case. You are right CBT is starting to work for me I hope it continues, like it did for you and the others, I am hoping to be alright, my hubby hates when I run to medical doctors he says it does not help me and seems to make me worse, I think he means anotherwords thinking its physcial when its anxiety. I am trying to just make it day by day. And I hope to recover like all the wonderful ppeople on this site. I am so grateful for all the members replies, it helps me. Thank you.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: Actually, you have taken a few steps forward already. You now are on this site - you've acknowledged your disorder and have reached out for help and support. That's definitely a positive, the light is shining at the end of the tunnel. Now it's the work part, the part you have to study and work on yourself - with patience, understanding and time - you will be taking steps along the tunnel toward that light. One day, you will be basking in the light. I mean that. CBT works.

Whenever I feel ill, I definitely am more vulnerable and open to anxiety. I try to remember that I can heal, the body is a miracle. However, there are times you need help from a doctor, or in your case right now, maybe a dentist. If your gums and teeth are worrying you, maybe an appt. would be helpful. Sure eases the mind to know what's happening instead of having negative thoughts and fears about a condition and all the "what ifs".

Keep the faith and BELIEVE this too shall pass.

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Sunny, how you're reply really made my day! I had trouble logging on again or I would of wrote sooner, its this darned computer I have I think. I keep reading it over and over thank you for the support it made me feel better to learn that recovery cannot be rushed and the tips you gave me are so accurate and true! I used my coping skills last night, I was brushing my teeth and my gums starting really bleeding bad, which normally does not happen, the bleeding seemed severe it would not stop but I kept fairly calm and packed with cotton,, I did not freak out as much as I probably would have, CBT is helpful, you and Davit and all the others are right, I have read its just as effective as medication if not more so, I hope I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now, or at least little bits of light, this has been so hard on me and my family, I am so hoping for a little relief from all the suffering and maybe one day some joy and happiness, right now I will settle for peace.

I have a sore throat tonight but trying not to obsess about it, the trouble with me is when I get physically sick my emotional state goes down quick, bad health anxiety, trying not to dwell on it and hoping it will go away. You said my body is just exhausted from all the panics and stress and I know you are right, I just need time to heal and hope my family and friends will forgive me for breaking down, my son was effected and that does hurt, but me getting better will make him better I hope.

That was an inspiring post Sunny, thank you, I am grateful or replies from all the wonderful members.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: You sound more positive, that's good. If you've gotten better before, you can do it again. And not only that, you now have this CBT program at your fingertips. You will stay better because you will know the coping techniques and will understand your triggers better.

It doesn't matter how long it takes. Be patient with yourself. You've already noticed an improvement latetly with fewer attacks. Your body is probably tired out from the adrenal rushes you have been having for long time now. It will take awhile to get physically strong again, but you will.

It took me about 2 yrs. to feel really good. The panic subsided well before then but I still felt exhausted doing things I used to take for granted. That's why when I started healing I would plan only one event/outing per day. It's all I could handle at the time because I overtired easily. If it was shopping day, that was it, no visiting friends. If it was doctor's appt. day, again, that was the only outing except to pick up a prescription if I needed one. This kind of planning didn't last too long but I did need it for awhile. I suppose, looking back, it was like I was trying not to become over stimulated with too many things to do. A few months later I could do 2-3 things in a day without feeling that kind of weariness. That and sleeping well, good nutrition, it all helped to getting physically fit again. And a walk every day, can be short if it has to be, or longer when you feel up to it. It doesn't matter at this point how long, just good to get out and fill those lungs with fresh air.

Rooting for you,

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hello everyone,

What you said was right Davit and I needed to hear it, I know from reading you're posts you have "been there and back" and understand exactly what is happening to me, as do Sunny and all the others in the program. I so much want my independence back and my physical and emotional health back, I wont give up, my son needs me and I love him so much, I cannot give up if for no other reason for him, I am so glad the panic's have decreased, I hope the "exhausted depressing" feeling will go away too, all I want to do is sleep and I know I am using that for an escape, but I am constantly tired, I guess nine months of daily panic attacks will tire anyone out, I am hoping to get my energy back, I am hoping to get everything that I have lost back.

I have decided to give it a break with my sister, I love her very much, but perhaps she cannot "take it" a little distance for awhile will not hurt, and Davit you are right about the negativity that is the very last thing right now I need if I hope to recover, I guess who cannot watch the calender maybe I just need some more time I guess everyone gets better on their own schedule, does that make sense? I am grateful for all the help compassion and support I have gotten here. Thank you all.

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Feel Beat Up