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11 years and counting

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2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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Exposure goals?


13 years ago 0 43 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
 
Wow two exposures in one day! That's impressive!  I wish you all the best.. although I do know what going to the doctor and forgetting what I wanted and forgetting what they tell me. That is totally normal behaviour (at least for me... so if that makes two of us, it must be normal! )  But might I suggest writing your questions down and pull out your notepad and ask away... I've been known to do that. Nothing worse than waiting for weeks to see the doc and walking out of there going "crap! I forgot to ask.."
 
 
I have one goal this week. And it kind of came out of the blue. I did my first exposure last week, trying to expose myself to thoughts... that ones tough! But it went OK, actually really uneventful... so now I'm tackling something I never thought I'd do. Thought I could always avoid (for the rest of my life). Seafood. The last time someone served me seafood, I sat at their table and cried.. I was 25 at the time, just had started dating the guy who ended up being my husband and we were at a friends house. They served seafood soup and I put my spoon in, hit a clam, shell and all, and started crying.
I went to an allergist, hoping I would be allergic, but no such luck for me! When I was pregnant with my first baby, I craved salmon, and I ate it then, but afterwards, I tried eating it again, and couldn't do it! I would love to cuz it's so healthy, but I just can't. So, this Thursday is my day off, my hubby is playing hookey, we're dropping the kids off at daycare and going mattress shopping, and my husband suggested seafood for lunch. So, I'm going to put on my big girl pants and eat seafood - and hopefully in time enjoy it!
 
Ocean
13 years ago 0 659 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have two exposure goals this week I will be working on.  I have a two Dr. appointments to go to and my goal is to try to use the 10 questions list to challenge my anxious and negative thoughts about these appointments..It really makes me nervous having to try to talk to these Dr's..They are good Dr's.. I am worried that I will have a hard time communicating my needs to them..My anxiety gets out of control in these situations when I am talking to someone in one on one and I just seem to go blank..I not sure what questions to ask when the present me with new information. I get overwhelmed and can't always remember what the have told me..Anyway right now I feel the anxiety and fear building and building. So today I am going to do my best to challenge these anxious thoughts as they come up.
 
Red
13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Everyone.

I forgot to mention again, Never change your medication without approval of your Doctor. Some medication has to be tapered off over a long period of time.

Here for you,
Davit.
13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Ocean

According to my therapist, med free is attainable. I'm going to try. I did my last major exposure today. Getting around with a cast on plays havoc with my mind more than my body. I went to the dentist who is an hour away by myself and got my sutures out. Then stopped at the grocery store on the way home, again it was the mind game, telling myself I can do this. It is icy here so I would have a fine excuse not too. I never took any medication. I have only been using it to counter the side effects of the large dose of antibiotic I'm taking right now. Going to try To get by on Herbal teas.

Remember though that I am probably three years ahead of every one here except Sunny123.
I certainly think it is doable.

Here for you,
Davit.
13 years ago 0 43 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sorry - not Debbie, Juanita!
Sorry I get confused - there's so many caring people here!! 
13 years ago 0 43 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey Thanks Guys,
Debbie, No, I didn't end up having an attack.
 
Davit, I totally understand. And at no point was I taking it negativley.. dont' worry - you didnt' hurt my feel-bads!
 
So do you guys think that with this program there will ever come a day when we will be able to live without being medicated? (that, of course is my ultimate goal - just wondering how attainable that goal realistically is).
 
Ocean
13 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Ocean

Let me change some of your answers.

Is it true? Yes, but I know it is curable. (positive thought)
How do I know it is true, Because right now I feel it is true. (acceptance)
Evidence. I don't function the way I should be able too. (fact)
Evidence against. None because I am not functioning the way I should. (acceptance)
Has it happened before. yes so it is time to change it. (determination)
What is different now. I want to be better. (Positive, not negative.)
How bad could it really be. As bad as I allow it to be. 
What is the worst that could happen. It could take a while longer than I think. Doing nothing takes forever.
If the worst thing happened how bad would it really be. Bad but what have I to lose, it is already bad.

Your answers although true are not good for you because they are negative. My answers are true also but they are positive. It is okay to have negative thoughts but only believe positive ones or you will gain nothing. You have a condition, not a disease. 

There are sections on assertiveness and self confidence that will help with this tendency toward negative thought. When you are negative as we all get when we think it is hopeless (ten years seems like proof) you have to become assertive with your self. "if others can do it so can I". Self confident. Spend more time on every little gain and use the set backs as only markers of how much you have gained. Set backs don't count they are in the past and the past can not be changed only learned from, it doesn't count.

Acceptance. Right now your thoughts are very negative. Accept that this is due to ten years of thinking it is hopeless. Don't fight it, change it, one little step at a time.
This is tough if it was easy there would be no need to do it would there. It does get easier.

If you think I'm being hard on you, you should meet my therapist. There were times I wanted to yell at her "you don't understand". Thing is she does and was not afraid to hurt my feelings for my own good. I only want what is best for you. I want you better, I want you free to spread your wings and soar.

Here for you
Davit.
13 years ago 0 538 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Ocean,
When you ask yourself "whats wrong with me?" can you change it to "How do I know somethings wrong with me?" your answer probably will be like this..."I'm going to have a panic attack, just like always"...then you can question that  statement by asking yourself if this is really true....you dont have to go into panic...tell yourself that... say to yourself "nah, I really don't want to panic right now"...and start your box breathing...for me at   first I used this type of challenging along with positive self-talk..it worked for me, got me off the negative analysing.... distracted my mind...anyhow, just a thought for you! 
Remember, its hard...go easy on yourself..you'll get the hang of it....just a question..even though you didn't enjoy your challenging thoughts...did you go into panic or did it subside?
Here for you
Juanita
13 years ago 0 43 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for all the positive help you guys. This panic center seems to be an answer to my prayers!
So I guess in order to start exposing myself to my thoughts, I needed to decrease my medication - don't worry. My doctor is very supportive of me adjusting my medications as I feel I need them. I have never before needed more than 20mg, and for the last month I was on 25mgs. So now I'm down to 20 again just so I can expose myself to these negative thoughts...
So I woke up this morning, two hours early - for no real reason. Which is what I was doing when my panic attacks were at their highest. So immediatley I started to think - oh no I'm going to have a panic attack. But then I started challenging them, and it seemed to work.
But how do I challenge "What's wrong with me?"
Is it true? Yes - something is wrong with me!
How do I know it's true? I have medication that makes me better - so it must be true
Evidence? Meds
Evidence against? None  
Has it happened before? For the last 10 years
What's different now? Nothing
How bad would it really be? It could NEVER go away!!
What's the worst that could happen? I could NEVER go away!!
If the worst thing happened, how bad would it really be?  Pretty darn bad! :(
 
Ugh - this is so tough!
Ocean
13 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Debit,
 
It is great to hear that you are enjoying the program and exposing yourself to new things in the past few weeks! Keep working the program, you will continue to learn as you go. I am really sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful dog, stay positive. 
 
What sections of the program really hit home with you?
 
 

Samantha, Health Educator

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