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Holiday pressure

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees.

Thank you. I am having a simple Christmas this year. I bought some things but I would not call them presents but if my friends ask what I got I will tell them these things are. They would not understand that the progress I see here and how much it has helped me to accept my life is all I need. This group has done more for me than you can imagine, believe me it is a two way street. And it lasts all year long

I do have one gift coming that I was not expecting and which I shall cherish because the person took the time to make it. It is home made cookies. Now that is the spirit of giving. You can not buy that.

I have some butter tarts to make but all the traditional cookies and cakes are made. The pumpkin pie, the mincemeat tarts and the steamed pudding. I am having a cornish hen instead of a turkey. I am going to enjoy the season, I will drive around and look at lights and decorations and just be as happy as I can be. There is just no way I am going to let the pressure get to me. If I think of anything it will be of the accomplishments and benefits I have accrued over the last year. Friends I have made, people that have helped me, and people I have helped.

Calmly enjoying the season without pressure.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Hi Davit,

It only seems like happiness can be bought. The big 'secret" is that it cant. :) I know you were being sarcastic with your comment about "buying happiness". Its so weird to me how many people believe you can buy happiness - how a gift from a store can alleviate anxiety. It totally cannot. I see that now. I wish for others to be alleviated from their suffering the way I have been.

I am so glad I have stronger positive beliefs. I am happy most of each day lately. The buying / not buying gifts doesn't bother me. The people in my life want lots of gifts, and I'll just buy them, and let them have their experience that day - I'll have mine. I am not as concerned with the beliefs of others anymore which was key for me to reap fully from this program.

I was thinking about you this AM and hoping you have some nice things planned for yourself for the holiday - your advice online here (along with many other folks) has been a key ingredient in my progress for which I am EVER grateful. I know that I am going to breathe through most , if not all , of the holiday hoopla. Regardless of what goes on around me. Thank you so much for your help over the time this year that I've been here. I cannot say that enough.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Some how I find it hard to get excited about the commercialism of Christmas. If you don't have the right tree and lights and presents then you can't be happy. This must be true because all around that is the message. Christmas is an excuse to get what you can't afford, To indulge far more than you should. It has been made so easy for us, just pull out the visa and you have instant happiness. Why go out looking for a tree or some evergreen boughs why hand decorate when you can buy all the happiness you could want. Don't get me wrong it can be a joy, hunting for the perfect gift, sitting down with friends and family to a nice meal. Driving around to look at the decorations.

We should not forget who's birthday we are celebrating, I think he would be disappointed with all this forced cheer.

Don't forget the New Year, it is an excellent time to put the past to rest and start all over. The best New Years resolution you can make is to get better so you can help others to get better to. Tis the season of giving. Why not give your friend and yourself the ultimate gift, give them a happy and stable you. It can be done and you won't need your Visa.

In search of the true Christmas.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

It didn't sound strange to me to hear that you connected with others less fortunate during the holidays and benefited from being generous. That is what the holiday can be. I liked your post.

It is hard to feel there is generosity happening when it looks like its been twisted into empty commercialism and materialism. I have to attend my share of gift giving events where the gift is more important than the person. It isn't easy going to such events. But there is always the opportunity to do something kind or generous for someone - like you say, in a big city like NYC the opportunities are right in front of you and in a smaller town the opportunities are more hidden.

Thanks for posting this. Food for thought. In NYC, I imagine it is easy to find someone to help, in smaller places those opportunities might be more 'hidden' but I think they are always there for each of us.

I am sorry to hear you miss your parents. That is not easy.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 34

This may sound strange to some of you. I grew up in NYC, and only moved all the way cross country 4 yrs ago.

For some reason, I was reminded of the homeless and how we used to pass them everywhere, church steps, the sides of a building, under a bridge. Sometimes their cardboaard boxes would be saturated by the snow, but they still layed there with all their layers on.

Anyway, I used to love handing out gifts to them, whether food, clothing, blankets. Sometimes if someone asked for something I took the time to take them to the store to pick out something to eat. You can imagine the store clerks looks.

I live in a place where their is homeless, but it is not visible in that way, and not even a 10th of what I've seen. So, I am really missing this part of a big city, NYC. (I've been to Hawaii where they are given a park and nice tents, and bathroom facilities)

Since this holiday is about the birth of Jesus, I am reminded that He is in everyone (I apologize if it is not your faith - I myself is Jewish) I am reminded that I cannot turn away someone because that is Jesus watching me in disguise. I prefer to believe and know I didn't need to then not to believe and know I should have.

This is why I don't celebrate christmas, it's turned into buying gifts, large gifts, alot of food. To the point that we have renters that would rather not pay their rent so they have money to purchase gifts mostly for their children.

The best part is it brings people together. The chatter, the laughing, the breaking of bread, passing food around the table. I have no family and I miss the familiarality of it. I miss my parents.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

What I notice when I look around at people preparing for the holidays is that people really really want the holiday (an external event) to bring them a sense of profound happiness inside. This stance of sort of demanding that the holiday bring us a sense of joy seems wrong minded to me. Is it really possible to look to the holiday time and say "I hope it makese me happy" without also thinking (even subconsciously) "what if it doesn't". I wonder about that for myself and for others.

Underneath all the activity - the gift buying etc....- during the holidays, I see a need in people to experience some happiness, some joy. There is nothing wrong with that, its just that these methods seem a bit wrong for me personally. My happiness during the holidays is coming from staying with myself, staying with my thoughts, nurturing my positive ones about the people I am spending the holidays with, and taking good care of myself. I will practice my relaxation techniques throughotu the holidays even on dec. 25. Not because I am rigid but because it centers me for the day to do the deep breathing each AM and ground myself by determining which positive thoughts I'm going to turn to that day if anxiety starts to flare up.

Just my input into this importnat topic. I tihnk inner peace can be felt during the holidays but no more or less than during any other time of year that we commit to taking good care of ourselves and our loved ones. :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

tam:

This is a great idea. I have been trying to do the things I normally do and it does take the stress off. Like reading,exercising looking at cd's of pictures I have taken on various trips. Right now I am getting ready to start sewing one of my quilts together and my partner is getting his antique farm engines ready for a show we will going to in January...I am looking forward to the new year and traveling with the travel trailer to Arizona in the middle of January. This is one of our yearly trips..We have been here at home for a long time now and are really looking forward to a change of scenery...

Red

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi upsidedown: Hahahahaha, yes, I've made two chicken soups already! Almost finished the second. Gotta have that chicken soup eh?

Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 39

I think the pressure duing this holiday season is how busy and fast paced things become as well as it can be a tough time of year emotionally for those who think of loved ones not here. At least thats what gets me all anxious this time of year. I find that one way to deal with this is to try to keep things as normal as possible. Keeping up with going to the gym, relaxing by reading or watching a good "non christmas" movie helps to make things feel normal.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

What, no chicken soup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Holiday pressure