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Newbie, any advice appreciated!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

Drew,

You're about to experience a whole new journey with CBT, one that will silence the chattering thoughts AND help you deal with the agoraphobia. I've never gone to an organized CBT session, just what's here on TPC, but I'm so glad I did. It's amazing how CBT processes help us take charge. I was a reluctant believer. How can I conquer something just by thinking it out of existence? And yet, day by day, my thought processes changed.

There's an old story by Nathaniel Hawthorne called "The Bosom Serpent." This guy believes he has a snake living in his body. It's driving him nuts. Then one day his wife, fed up with his mania, tells him "forget yourself!" It works. Self-contemplation had nurtured the serpent. Once he was able to detach from himself and his mania, the serpent left his body. For me the story is a parable of the importance of coming out of ourselves -- finding peace by turning our sights outward instead of inward.

CBT will help with that. The stuff in your head is self-propagating. By tuning in, you're giving it more importance than it merits and causing it to grow. CBT will train you in detaching from it.

We live in fear of fear. We fear the voices and chattering because they make us feel like we're going crazy. And it's so awful, you start to wonder if life will ever be spontaneous and glorious and anxiety-free. IT WILL. You remember that world. It's still yours. Grab every souvenir and photograph and memento of that time and focus on those better days ... believe me, they'll be yours again. You'll be so far from where you are now you'll scarcely relate to the Drew of these posts. The sun will rise again. You WILL be happy.

If you need someone by your side to get you through this, by email or skype or whatever, let me know. But remember, we ALL get through it!

Will

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 13

Thankyou so much for the support.
Yes the horror stories are bad, i first got really bad with my anxiety when i took escitalopram...that was the trigger for the really bad anxiety i have now, and taking more meds to counteract the anxiety is scary, im kind of hopeful that CBT will work im just so scared that it wont, everything just seems so bleak at the moment and im terrified. ive lost more weight again, i weighed myself today, so now the total ive lost since bad anxiety started 3 months ago is...1st 9lbs. im scared of that too, i feel like im wasting away i look like a twig. the depersonalisation i get all day everyday is terrifying too, i feel like im losing control...even tho i have never lost control, i have never come to any harm its just horrible i cnt seem to stop my anxiety. I feel so stupid because i havnt come to any harm and dont know why i feel this way...one thing i'd like to know is with CBT if you put the work in how long does it take to take effect? or is everyone different. I just want this to be over with so much so i can be me again. Also do meds stop your mind chatter, bcoz i cant think of anything else but my anxiety atm, trying different things, wondering if ill get better just the same thoughts all day going over and over.

Thanks

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Drew: You are going through a real tough time right now. I'm happy to read that you are going to a CBT class in a couple of days. That's what I did a few years ago and it was the most helpful thing I ever did. I was fearful of medications too, getting hooked and all the horror stories one can read about. It wasn't like that at all and my panicky, fearful thoughts were what made it worse - feeding the anxiety like a vicious circle. One very important lesson I learned was to always talk to your doctor first about any changes you wish to make - never stop a med. without talking to them first. Once you start those classes, you're going to understand what's happening a whole lot better and will be able to help yourself. So very happy for you. Hang in there, just a little longer. I'm cheering you on and saying a prayer for you! :) Keep posting - we are all with you in spirit.

Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Drew

Valium is the oldest safest of the Benzodiazepenes, It is not addictive but you could develop a dependancy but it is highly unlikely, as the program progresses you would likely just forget to take it. Tricyclic's either work or they don't because they work on Dopamine instead of seratonan. The biggest side effect is a dry mouth, The other one is somnolence, but if you don't have to be anywhere that is no problem.

Here for you,

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 13

well my current doctor says that he wont prescribe me anything else after the buspirone if it doesnt work but i might mention Tricyclic anti depressants to him see what he thinks, he did offer me more valium but im scared to take them, i have taken a few in the past few months when ive been really bad but i actually panic when i think i might have to take sedatives and get addicted and be worse off in the end. i feel like im dying.

Currently im lying in bed with a burning face, dry mouth, massive headache, got no energy whatsoever and spacey. i just want to be the way i was, a happy bouncy fun guy that did loads of stuff, i mean before i got so bad i was agoraphobic but i could always find stuff to do in the house, now i cant seem to do anything

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Drew

Buspirone is a non addictive anti anxiety. It takes a while to work though. Unfortunately suicide or thoughts of it is common in your age group with the newer SSRIs. Have you tried any of the Tricyclic anti depressants. They work differently and on a different chemical in your brain. They are mood stabilizers and I take one on an as needed basis because I can not take SSRIs. Yes even old people like me can get suicidal from SSRIs. And although I am one of the cured I still get thoughts that a while ago would have sent me into full blown panic, Now they are just mildly annoying. This too will pass. You have a whole life ahead of you and it can be beautiful and fulfilling so lets get this cured so you can enjoy it. You can live any way you want to and be happy. Panic is about two things, Negative verses positive and how you see it.

Do the program and later I want to tell you about oranges and apples.

Any questions you have I will try to answer.

Here for you (as are all of us)

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

Drew,

My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I am one of the people here who started in the sister site The depression center and later came here to work on my anxiety/panic/ptsd/Agoraphobia issues. For me they all seem related and play on each other. I think it is possible for anxiety to cause depression or vice versa. This is just my opinion and my personal experience with it. Both of these programs have helped me a lot. As for the mind chatter it is a battle and the programs here have helped me get some control over it. I am still working on it. If you do a search on the site here and type in mind chatter you will be able to read some of the old posts on this topic. I did a search and went back 1 year and was able to find posts on the topic. I have not done a search on the sister site yet. You might want to check that out too. Keep posting your thoughts and feelings and asking questions. Posting has helped me to get a better understanding of this condition and myself. We all really do care here and many of us have and are experiencing the things you are talking about.

We are here for you,

You are not alone it this.

Red

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 13

Ive just started a new med, buspirone about 4 days ago, i tried escitalopram, pregabalin and another ssri i cnt remember what but they just made me suicidal, i know it can make you worse before it makes you better though, im just finding it so difficult atm i cant sleep i cant eat its constant panick...i have been reffered to CBT through the national health service and start next week, im just so scared im going to be like this forever. I dont even know where to start with CBT, im trying to think positively and challenge my thoughts with the 10 questions but dont seem 2 be working, but then again its only been 2 days of trying it.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Drew

No one asked this so I will. Are you or have you seen a therapist and are you or have you been on medication. You have to know that if you can't do this straight it is time to do it with meds so you can absorb it or it is just going to get lost in all the other gibberish. The program works but you have to be able to absorb it.

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

drew,

Take the time to take the anxiety test and make an appointment with your doctor. This can help you better assess your situation, so that you can come up with a plan to progress. Do use the diary for everyday feelings and emotions, it is a great therapeutic tool.

Take it slow, go through the program and gain more knowledge about what is happening.

We are here for you and we do know where you are coming from.

Josie, Health Educator

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Newbie, any advice appreciated!