I also wanted to note that I do not like to avoid things, so when I began having anxiety and panic attacks, I always wanted to face my fears. That is why this is bothering me so much, because I want to face it, but don't know how really to deal with it. I am now questioning whether I am really afraid of the thought, or am I afraid that the thought may make me crazy, or am I afraid what others will say if I do it, what my therapist will think of if I do it, will doing such think take me to the pschiatric ward? I do have a lot of 'what ifs' but just like those that are afraid of a dog and expose themselves slowly to the dog, how do I slowly expose myself to this fear, so that I am less fearful of it?