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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

Davit, that is truly inspiring and I hope you count the help you've given me too. I want to say I can't wait til I get there, but I can.

Sunny, I hope you know how much you help me too.

And everybody here. You are all inspiring.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Anerol: Glad your day went well with getting errand done. Davit is right - one day you will be able to help someone else - perhaps even someone who is going through anxiety and panic attacks and you'll be great at it because you will understand and have empathy for the person.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

anerol

Congratulations. Little steps add up. Some time in the future you will find yourself doing things without your support person and they may only be little things but they will happen. If you don't concentrate too hard on getting better and just let it happen with a little coaxing, doing what you can you will find that it often happens without you noticing. I have to read my journal to see the progression because once I decided to accept what I got was what I got things started to happen but they were so smooth that I never noticed. One day I nearly freaked when I discovered that I had been doing things I wasn't supposed to be able to do. I nearly panicked. The next day I was really scared, but a few days later I found myself again doing things I wasn't supposed to be able to do. This time I did the "ho hum lets see how far I get" thing. Again the shock of it hit the next day but really quite mild and I was so happy. One day I was in town for a foot care appointment. The nurse asked what day would be good to come back. I said any time. She gave me a funny look and said "you never used to be able to come to town". I wanted to say "since when" But she was right. Conditions used to have to be just right and even then it usually took some Ativan. Not any more, thank you. It has to be a very bad day before I can't just do as I please. And I'm still getting better. I am way past my expectations. It took me time and it will take you time too but it will happen.

Today I found another chance to help someone else out. I'm not keeping score but the debt is getting paid.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

Hi Davit,

that's reasurring again. I was able to take care of another errand that I've been putting off since last year. I am very happy I was able to accomplish this today. I did use a lot of help from my support person and wasn't feeling so great about that, but I am going to ignore it because the accomplishment is bigger to me now. I am so relieved in doing it because I had to get it done anyway and not doing it was adding stress too. I'm very happy.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

anerol

This is very important. There will always be times when you need help and there will be a lot of times when you can not pay it back. Do NOT let it bother you. You can pay it back in a different way. Get yourself better and help others, pass on your knowledge. It is worth more than any thing you can possibly owe. Taking one person by the hand when they need it is not only good for them but is good for your soul.

It is better to use crutches to walk than to not walk. If you need a safe person to function then do it. Take My word for it if you just do the best you can and not worry too much the stress will just fade a way and you will find yourself doing things you thought you couldn't. Worry will slow down your progress but this is OK if you accept that it will just take a little longer. Here the end definitely justifies the means. Keep the ball rolling, you are doing good.

Davit

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

Hi Red,

Thanks so much for the reassurance. Your point is very true. I do to feel accomplished even if I do things with my safe person. Sometimes, I become very critical to myself, but lately, I feel like it is adding up like you have mentioned.

Hi Sunny,

that is a good tip. I often do try to prepare so that I know what I will be in for too. Thanks so much.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

Hi Ashley,

Thanks for the tips to consider. I plan on achieving my goal when my safe person is off work and not tired. I am very excited for this goal because I will have more confidence in myself and be very proud because it would be a huge success for me. I will feel like I'm getting closer to being less dependent. That is my ultimate goal, to take care of myself, myself. I think this support would help me because it will take me to steps I wouldn't be able to achieve myself. I would feel less scared also and reassured. The bad things I feel about support is that, I feel I'll be controlled by my support person. Things will not go as freely as doing things yourself. Another thing is that I feel bad for asking for support. Everyone is working and taking care of their lives and they still take care of me while, I don't take care of myself (financially).

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Anerol: I remember when I took a course to help parolees when they are released from prison, I had to drive to the "big city". I was terrified of the traffic in the city especially when I didn't know where I was going, so a few days before the course started, I asked someone to drive me to the building at that specific time so I could judge the traffic and see how to get there and where to park, any information I would need. I did drive alone the first time even though I was very nervous but I had the info. and that helped me a lot. It was a kind of preparation for me. I think preparation is a big help both mentally and physically. So if you do pick someone, maybe if you go over the plan together and have a backup plan of sorts, it'll be easier. hope this might give you some ideas...

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 420

Hi anerol,

I have been working on exposure for about 3 months now. I find that it is a ongoing process. Breaking it down to smaller steps like you are doing is a very good idea. I have accomplished quite a bit in this amount of time. I was able to go to the mall by myself. I went to jury duty with my safe person. I was able to be in a group meeting with my safe person. My safe person took me to my first day of class. I am still having problems leaving the house with or with out my safe person. Any time I leave the house is a achievement in my case. I think that all these small goals and steps will lead to me reaching a larger goal. My first goal is leaving to the house more with my safe person if need be. I think this is helping me reach my larger goal of leaving the house on my own. Every step we take is really not a small step it is a major step towards getting well. I to have trouble asking for support. Like today I need to go get sewing supplies for my next class meeting, but am having trouble getting dressed and leaving the house. My safe person will be out of town for my next class meeting and if I don't get their on my own than I will miss the class and feel like a big failure. I find that working the program is something I have to do every day and hopefully I will have the courage to make to my next class. I think focusing on the positive successes makes us stronger and gives us courage to do more. Anerol you are doing great. You know what your goal is and you are working towards it, that is a major acheivement in its self. You are making progress and should be very proud of yourself.

Red

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Anerol,

This will be a great thread. I am sure many members will share their experiences!

I like that you narrowed your goal down. Goals are generally more successful if you make them SMART (Specific, measurable, Attainable, Resonant and Time Stamped) Your goals sounds pretty good so far but when do you plan on achieving this goal. And more importantly, resonant, are you excited about this goal? If you could create a goal that would really get you excited about achieving what would it look like?

Having support for these goals sounds like a good idea also. How do you think this support would help you? How do you think it may hinder you?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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