Well, I got up this morning and didn't eat anything, so that I could go and get my blood tests (I had to fast for 10 hrs). I tried to get there at a time that it wouldn't be too busy (I didn't want to wait forever and it has a small waiting area, with weird lighting, so with a lot of people crammed in there, it can be a trigger - not really needing an extra trigger, as the needle is enough! Haha).
But, sure enough when I got there, it was packed. There were some people even standing to wait. I did find a seat in a corner and as I took it all in, I started to feel the panic want to creep in. It was annoying because I was actually looking for it. I was feeling pretty positive when I headed to the clinic, despite being draggy from not eating. So, when I keep checking how I was feeling on purpose, I started up the panic! I actually contemplated convincing myself that "it's too busy here, I'll come back next week sometime."
Instead, I reminded myself that the lights were weird, I was light-headed from not eating for almost 12 hours, I was apprehensive about the needle. Most importantly, I am NOT going to leave and I am going to ride it out. I tried to make a point of smiling at some of the other people waiting. When they smile back, it helps me realize that they are not scary and judgemental. They are nice.
Well, I did get the blood test (they let me lie down and in fact she joked around with me about it). It really was nothing, a total breeze and even though I felt fine when I left, I made myself stop for my reward (a hamburger!)
The key points that I'll take from this:
(1) tackling the panic, rather than escaping is not easy at first, but it's necessary
(2) don't go out of your way to wonder if you'll have an attack or not!
(3) challenge those thoughts. Again, it seems really hard at first, but gets sooooo much easier over time and it seems to almost become second-nature after a while.