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very depressed

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Jimmy.

I have complete faith in your abillity to do this thing. I think you are fed up enough to stick it out. And sometimes that is all it takes. It will take time but I think you know that already.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

I wish I would have sought out help much earlier. I have had these type of thoughts for about 8 years now (well not 8 years straight, but off and on.) I hope I'm not that bad... :(.. I'm a little worried now but whatever, can't give up! I try to tell my self the thoughts aren't welcome but they seem like they want to stay! Well, again thanks for listening guys!

Jimmy

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Jimmy

You will notice that although you have all these things happening you can still function. Panic is the Fight or Flight syndrome out of whack. During it every thing not pertaining to fight or flight is dumped as not necessary. This is why in a panic attack it is hard to write or speak and every thing is distorted. This is why you think you are going crazy or having a heart attack or any number of not true things. The connection to reality has been cut off so that total concentration can be focused on fighting or running. This is why sometimes you want to run but don't know where to. And how long it lasts depends on how much adrenaline has been dumped in your system. You are actually quite bad and I must say that you should have sought out help sooner. I still think you can stop this thing, it just may take longer than normal. You see you have more than one thing happening at the same time. Some of them are just the minds way of dealing with the situation. You have to tell yourself that these thoughts are not real. That they are negative and not welcome. It is going to be harder because of the medication but it is still doable. And don't get me wrong I am not telling you to quit the medication. I have the patience to explain any thing that you want to know to the best of my ability no matter how long it takes. You can tell your therapist any thing you have said here. All these thoughts are normal for panic all be it some are stronger than most people see. Maybe we can get people to mention the ones they have had. I have had every one except 3 and 4 to some extent and possibly even 3 and 4 but can't remember them. I still suffer from 9 to some extent and I remember 10 as being especially bad.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Jimmy,

It is good to hear that you have booked an appointment with a therapist and will be visiting your doctor shortly. Take what you have learned from the online program and continue to post here often. We are all here to support each other!

Samantha, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

I am going to see a therapist monday and then my doctor about my medication dosage (probably up the dosage level)

Jimmy

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 31

Hi Jimmy

You seem completely overwhelmed by everything and it is very hard to try and think rationally when your feeling like this. I don't know if you have but maybe if you spoke to your doctor they could point you in the direction of someone who could help you deal with this. There was a period of my life when I felt like that there was so much going round my head there was no room for anything rational or positive to get in. Have you looked at the relaxation section even just focusing on your breathing for a few minutes or even seconds gives your head a break and helps to quiet it down even for a short time. Take care.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

This is what I am mainly disturbed by:

1) I feel like I don't recognize the words coming out of my mouth even though I know it's the English language

2) I don't feel real, like I'm detached from myself.

3) Every thought I have literally feels like I'm going crazy by it.

4) I know who my parents and brother and sister are but it feels like I don't recognize them

5) I feel "out of it", like I know the date and the time but it feels like it isn't right.

6) I fear I am mentally ill or insane

7) Memories of my past frighten me for whatever reason

8) I go out places and come back home and I know I went but it's like I can't remember doing it.

9) I am scared of sleeping in my room because that is where I had my first panic attack and that it I'll wake up the next day and feel it all over again.

10) My thoughts race and race and it feels like my head is going to explode.

These are the main things that freak me out.

Thanks

Jimmy

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Thanks guys. Basically my problem is any thoughts I have freak me out. They didn't use to, but now it's like every thought or sensation I have makes me panic. It's really annoying. I force myself to go out places but when I get back home it's like I didn't go, I know I went.. but it's like my mind is blank. Well again thanks for listening.

Jimmy

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 31

Hi Jimmy

We all have times when it all gets too much several years ago my anxiety became so bad I became housebound not good with kids. I've had anxiety as long as I can remember but I took this traumatic time in my life and decided I wanted something good to come out of it. I never asked for help always helped everyone else and basically I was bottom of the pile, well I decided I am as important as everyone else out there and I won't be at the bottom of the pile again. I reached out it wasn't easy going against the grain but there are people out there who want to help if you let them, I had to accept I needed help if I wanted my life to change. I have a few post its/cards around the kitchen which I read sometimes without thinking, one of them is "Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlining fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness" I'm no longer housebound and found a centre for people like myself were I can study I.T to help me get back to work in the future. I may not be exactly where I want to be at the moment but we need to dig as deep down as we can to find the determination to keep moving ahead and this site is really good as we can all help each other on the journey.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Jimmy

Panic warps thought, that is why it is panic instead of just a night mare. Or day mare. ( the word comes from having thoughts gallop around your head going no where). Panic is just "fight or flight" that won't shut off because it doesn't know it's supposed to. It goes like this, weird thought ↔ panic ↔ WEIRD THOUGHT ↔ PANIC ↔ MORE PANIC till you start to believe this is a big deal. But look at it. It is only a little weird thought that got blown out of proportion.

You already have it half beat because you know the thoughts aren't true. Have you been reading the posts? Have you noticed how much writing your thoughts down reinforces the fact that they are irrational and not true. What we want to do here is turn my little demonstration above around. When the weird thoughts come you want to write them down and say "this isn't real" or " this isn't true". Say it out loud as you write it. Read it back a few times to get it imbedded in your mind. A few times and it won't even come up again and if it does you now know how to deal with it.

If your heart is racing and you are having a hard time concentrating, stop and do some €” box breathing-. Get relaxed and go at it again. The program is 12 weeks. Whether you take more or less depends on your determination. And no skipping ahead or you will end up starting over. Besides I will be pissed with you.

You could have a mental illness but I doubt it. Mentally ill people don't think they are. That is why they get in so much trouble. OK! I have been in the Psych Ward. It is actually a nice hotel but the food sucks and you have to make your own bed. What was I doing in the Psych ward? I'm not crazy! Actually a large percentage of people in there were there for the same reason. It is a quiet place to get away from the panic. And every one said the same thing. They thought they were losing their mind and going crazy. So lets cure your anxiety and keep you out of there because the food does suck. Those negative thoughts always blind side you because if they came face on you would see them for what they are and they would have no power. SO, and this is a bit hard to do, you have to bring them out front where you can deal with them. You have to destroy them one at a time till there are no more. Easier said than done! Yessss. I know, but not impossible. The thing is once you learn to do this with one or two the rest are easy. Jimmy I can't guaranty you an instant cure. But I can give you some relief while you work on a cure. And even if you never get completely away from the negative thoughts you will still be able to live a relatively normal life. It usually takes a while and most people notice that it starts to go away on its own, after all you and me both know it's not real. Work on this and in a while we will try to find the triggers that bring about this irrational thinking.

Never give up.

Davit.

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