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Anxiety attack at restaurant

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

Thank you both for the responses. I am feeling a bit better than yesterday, but still kind of in a daise. I was so busy at work today that I never got to eat lunch, but I also never had a chance to have any panic attacks either :-)

I spoke to my mother around midday and she helped coach me on a couple of things that have been bothering me. She is amazing.

I ended my evening on here, but not before working my biceps nearly to failure. It was my best biceps workout in quite a while. I chose the name wrestler some time ago because of my love for exercise and that I also used to wrestle in high school and like pro wrestling.

I also washed the dishes as my wife worked on her school work. She teaches elementary school.

So I have to say it was a positive day. I realize I over reacted by taking too much valium during the sales training. I nearly took 10 mg for the entire 9-hour session. I think that is one reason I am still a bit woozy. I did take 2.5 mg this morning just to calm before work. I knw it is there when I need it, but I want to be able to get back to when I did not need it just to be in a meeting with a lot of people. I know when the days start to get warmer and longer, things will get better. That does not mean they cannot get better soon than that, but I do tend to have Seasonal Affectiver Disorder and OCD pretty bad this year.

Thanks again for the nice responses and I will let you know how I progress tomorrow.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 124

Hi Wrestler,

I have read your posts and see that you care a lot about yourself and your wife. I hope your sales training went well and that you kept your anxiety under control. It's also good to hear that you enjoy the tv show lost, make sure to appreciate your Tuesday nights and practice being relaxed.

See how much can change just while writing a post! It's awesome isn't it!

SIM

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 192

Hello Wrestler: Hope your day goes well with training. Sounds like you are doing well with your new job and good for you that you aren't letting the anxieties get in the way.
Because you love your wife it's natural you want to help her. Sometimes people have to learn on their own - a few kind words, "I'm here if you need me", "if you want to talk about it, I'm here for you" that sort of response might be better so they can try and figure it out for themselves first. Just my thoughts about it. Keep posting.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

I needed to post again on this topic. I had a small but uncomfortable attack yesterday. I was trying to console my wife and upset myself in the process.

Sunday, we had just finished raking the front yard for a couple of hours and we came inside. We had watched a movie the night before, The Time Traveler's Wife, and I remembered she started crying a lot at the end. So, in my usual pattern, I tried to help her with why she was crying. This only caused my wife to cry some more and then I became anxious and angry at myself for trying to help my wife only to cause her to cry again. I need to learn to stop doing that. What resulted was a small panic attack that I brought on my self. it left me feeling depressed much of the rest of Sunday and even into today at work. I just kind of felt blah all day.

And I am also nervous about tomorrow because we have sales training with about 65 people in the group. I know I will do fine and will be OK. I also like it because I don't have to drive all the way to work tomorrow. The training is the next town over and not the 30-minute drive I always have to do.

Once tomorrow is over, then the fun begins because LOST is on Tuesday night.

OK, I started this post feeling scared and really like that I ended it positively.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

Just as last week, I had a better Tuesday. I did the smart thing at around 6:30 am: I took a whole diazepam. My wife wonders why I take so long to admit I need to take an emergency med. I think this was the first time I have taken a whole diazepam since the summer. I usually take a half and it does the job, and then if I need more I take the other half a half or hour later.

I have also started taking more B vitamins. I sometimes forget how important they are for nerves.

I know the medicine does not do everything, but it really helped me calm down today. When I awoke this morning, I was sad that the night was over and that I had to go to work. I did not want to get out of bed. It's not that I hate my job, because I dont, but sometimes you just like the safety of home.

I got good news at work today. I placed first for the month of January for sales by technicians in our branch office. And I placed third for sales leads. I work for a termite company :). I did not win any extra money, but I do get commision. So that was a nice surprise. I also made another sale today for this month, so I am off to a good start for this month. Sales are an extra duty in addition to the inspections I perform.

I did have a couple of uncomfortable moments today toward the afternoon, but I cannot expect to feel completely symptom free overnight. I have been feeling the dissociation or depersonalization for a few weeks now, on and off, so I know that it takes time.

I have a superstition that is affecting me. If I bring a peanut butter sandwich to work and if I cannot hold out from taking a bite until the afternoon, I usually have an episode in the a.m. Not sure if that makes any sense.

I took a step last night that will help. I contacted my longtime therapist about going in for an appointment. The office is now an hour away from where I live, but she's the best therapist I have ever worked with. When I first walked into her office in 1995, I was a basket case. I was on prozac and triavil and was 2 years removed from my first marriage. I could hardly talk about anything without it hurting. She told me that it would be hard work and I might feel bad certain times, but that I would feel better than I ever have once I started opening up. And I did.

I was seeing her from 1995 to around 2005. 1995-2000 was pretty steady and then as I improved I went less and then went when needed. My last appointment was late 2006. Am I allowed to pat myself on the back for the achievement of not needing therapy for 3 years? :-) I think my wife was a big reason. She's wonderful and helps me.

She was very happy to hear from me and said I can make an appointment anytime. I will have to see how I can work this around my work schedule. I am only in the 6th month of my new job and don't want to make a rep of taking off work too often. February is a busy month. The 6th month is when my review is due and then I maybe get a raise. I think winning the sales contest might help.

OK, sorry for running on, but I had a lot to say, and thanks so much for responding.

David

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 224

Hi Wrestler,

Loosing a loved family pet can be very hard. Pets are a part of your family and it is really sad to see them go because we do get so attached to them.

I'm thinking that maybe this incident did play a role on this episode. Since you are making the connection in your mind, you are probably right. Maybe take it easy for a few days, you mentioned that the weekends are your best therapy, take a day off work if you can, or just spend some time in the evenings doing things that you enjoy and find relaxing.

Let us know how you are doing!

Luciana, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

OK, it was Monday again, and another episode occurred about 10 am. It was either depersonalization or dissociation.

I was working and was ready to go give a customer the results of the inspection I performed on her house. I then had a short and confusing moment of the makeup of person. It was odd, but not anything I had not experienced before. I believe it was depersonalization, but I also remembered today that I often would dissociate over the years. The best way I can describe it is that I became confused of the mental image I have of myself.

I had not taken any valium since the evening before. I did take my usual triavil that I take at bedtime. But I felt I did not need the valium, but it seems that the right time to take it would be Monday morning being that last Monday morning I had a horrible time during the bad weather and then later that day some panic at work. That was the last sure panic attack I had until this morning. So after the 10 am episode, I took half of one (2.5 mg)

Today's 10 am episode threw me back for much of the day. It started to rain and I had several appointments left and it left me depressed and anxious. I did take another 2.5 mg later in the day when I felt a little shaky.

I should note that we had to have one of our guinea pigs euthanzied on Friday evening. We have lot's pf pets.

In the morning, we fed the pigs and she would not eat and we noticed she was lethargic. She had been acting strange for a few weeks, but still was eating. We took her to the vet where we found out she had a large tumor and was starting to suffer.

The vet recommended we put her down. I immediately began to cry.

That sad day brought me back to a little reality, and it was the weekend, and weekends are my best therapy, but this sad event made my wife and I really sad. I built her a small wooden box and we buried her in our butterfly garden.

I am thinking maybe what happened to me today was a little bit of shock or just business as usual for a Monday in the winter.

Any thoughts?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

Thanks for the reply.

On ignoring the these feelings, it's difficult sometimes. When I am panic free I rarely experience depersonalization. But I have to be panic free for a few days or even weeks to feel fully at ease and then the confusion and depersonalization (kind of the same for me) dissipates and I don't really even think about it.

The last couple of months I have felt myself slip ever so slightly into a depression mode. It's typical for this time of year for myself. But this year it has hit me harder than in the very recent years. Nothing is new about anything I am experiencing, but when one is experiencing these kinds of symptoms, it feels like forever until you feel good and all you want to do is just feel good.

The very fact that I am talking about this means I am focusing on it. Isn't it awesome when we feel good and we don't have to focus on feeling depressed or anxious?

For example, I worked out tonight, but ran short on energy 2/3 of the way through. But I finished the workout.

Depersonalization is a weird thing. I first experienced it in my teens and several times since.

But the main thing for me is to get past this panic. As with any time I am going through something like this, it's lovely to have this group to turn to.

Got to go for now. I am making dinner for my wife and myself,

David

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 224

Hi Wrestler,

I'm glad to hear that you are having a better day today.

You mentioned that concentrating on your work rather on what you were feeling (the daze, and the depersonalization, the anxiety) helped you as it did not bring on a panic attack. I think you are onto something here.

I'm wondering if you choose to ignore these feelings if you in turn will prevent a panic attack from happening. What are some other things you can focus on?

Members, please share your thoughts.

Luciana, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

I had a much better day today. I got up scared to go to work, but the fear soon left once I was up with my wife and on my way. During work, I had very little anxiety and only experienced a few moments of depersonalization. I was in a bit of a daze which can also feel like depersonalization, but it's really just that I was concentrated on my work and was trying not to think too much about my anxiety symptoms..

There were no panic attacks today. That is the most important thing. If I can get the panic under control, everything else improves. That has always been my history.

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Anxiety attack at restaurant