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16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Hi Diva

I am sure you will be a fantastic counseller. You have been through all the lowest of the lows. Who better to listen to other people's problems? Being a counseller involves lots of psychobable but mostly they are a shoulder to cry on. And you seem to be a very compassionate person so don't sell yourself so short.

Hope your plan with your hubby works out. It can be difficult for a marriage when one of the partners is undergoing anxiety or depression. If the marriage is worth it then you just need to fight for it.

Keep us posted.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hi guys, me again...

Thank you for all your great replies and your help.

Joe, you are right. I can challenge those thoughts and come out on top. You are 100% right! Tonight I suggested the beginning of a solution to my husband. I stuck to my guns and he agreeed. Well I did compromise while sticking to my guns but I think compromise is necessary. Now that we agreed on a little plan, we will see what happens.

I decided I was tired of just feeling lame and just being sad. So I found the beginning of a plan. Now, I fully intend to put in the effort to make it work. Question is will he. But I have 0 control over that. If he does, I think it will help and in the long run we will be ok. If he doesn't well at least I will have tied and I will have done my best and I will know where we stand! So here is to hoping and to trying to be proactive! and here is to challenging those thoughts! Thanks Joe for reminding me!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

...Still fighing. I can't do anything right it seems. Can't even apologize right...I think my husband doesn't love me anymore. Everything I do annoys him. Today is a bad day and I keep making it worse...

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

Diva, You are not lame. It can be very difficult to try and communicate someone, especially when the time is not the best. What did you have in mind when you were going to do something fun with your husband? Can it be rescheduled? Maybe you can organize something fun with him over the weekend? Members, any other suggestions for Diva? Sarah, Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Hi Ya Diva:

Sorry to hear about your situation with your husband. Although I can't offer you advice on how to deal with it I can empathize with you as I argue quite a lot with my best friend (my mum). I also feel defective as mum is so different from me - thank God. At times I honestly don't know how she has put up with me this year and a half. I keep telling her that I'm sorry for having this disorder and she always tells me that I don't need to say I'm sorry because it's the disorder that's the issue not me.

I guess the one thing you should keep in mind is if this has happened in the past and you have both gotten over it - then it too shall pass!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

Hi Diva,

Vent as much as you need, that's what the board is for, and what we're here for! Sorry to hear about all the troubles you and your husband are going through, but don't let those negative thoughts get to you! You can do this! Challenge those thoughts! And remember, whether or not you choose to challenge these thoughts, is up to you, and no one else. This is your power, one we all have called choice, don't give it to anything you don't want to. Many times it can be a fight to keep it, but a fight that I promise is worth it. Because you're worth it.

And I understand those "ghost limb" feelings. I get those from time to time as well. I'm a weirdo though, I kinda enjoy them. It's like that quick flash of goodness you feel when you sneeze, although not as powerful, it still feels cool. That and when the feeling goes away, you still have your arm/nose/foot, some aren't so lucky...be grateful for the small things, right?

We'll be here whenever you need us, even if tomorrow or the next day or the day after that you still feel this way, we're here.

This too shall pass, Doc!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hey guys,

Sorry for coming on here and venting and not answering anyone. I don't have the computer for very long. My laptop is still not back and I had to borrow hubby's PC. As such I have very little time. I still feel bad though.

Been fighting with hubby. My fault. Hadf a chance to have fun with him but ruined it by wanting to talk to him. Why am I like a dog with a bone. He can ignore the bad stuff and just relax and have fun. But I can't. When things are not going well with us I need to talk and try to fix things. Of course it always turns out badly and we fight. We can't seem to communicate.

I feel defective. And we talk and I get so anxious and my heart beats in my ears and I start feeling like various parts of my body aren't really mine. Like I look at my arm and it looks completely foreign to me, like it isn't mine. I hadn't had that in super long but it came back lately. I hate it. Earlier it felt like my haed wasn't mine and it was just floating...

I feel defective that I can't communicate with him ever. I always say the wrong thing and he shuts down.I should have just tried harder to pretend nothing was wrong and I should have just tried to have a fun evening. Why am I incapable of pretending? Am I just broken? He does it so easily and I can't. So now he is over in the living room and I am in here completely miserable. He wants time alone. So once again I am alone and miserable because I can't relax and just act like things are fine...

We can't talk. We just fight. Don't know what ever made me think I culd go into counselling and help people. I can't even communicate effectively with my own husband. I feel sad and lame and anxious. And I wish it felt like all my limbs were mine...I know it is just my anxiety but it is still a weird annoying feeling...My hands don't look or feel like mine atm. Makes typing tough.

Sorry again for just dropping in and venting. I will do better tomorrow. Hugs to you all and thanks for being here.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

Hey Diva,

Not much time to respond right now, but remember I whine as much, if not more then you! Stay positive, although it seems like you're doing pretty good at it in spite of all that's going on. You will overcome this!

Cheers!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Vent and whine away Diva!!!!! Nobody is judging you!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Sorry guys,

I come back and all I do is whine and write horribly long novels! So sorry, will be more careful...

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