Hey Faryal!
Yes, there is a lot going on in my life right now. And yes I felt quite anxious! I am trying to be proactive and just find a way to tackle these issues to make them better. Being proactive makes me feel more in control and thus less anxious. I think the fact I lack sleep is not helping my anxiety levels though!
Thanks for the hug and the congratulations! I am very proud of myself that I succeeded in my studies. I worked so hard! Now I am working hard to try and get into a Doctorates program but it is tough nerve racking work. It involves a lot of social networking and I feel incompetent at that. But I must manage to convince a teacher I am worth taking in...So networking it is. I am just not sure how to make a good impression... Ah well! I will do my best. And I do have a teacher from my other school trying to help me navigate this!
As for the graduation, yes you are right, visualizing me going in front of everyone and doing ok would be a good idea! I will try that. And yes, I have been considering taking my anti-anxiety med beforehand. I do have a prescription PRN, that is what it is there for. I do not know why I resist taking my meds so much. Maybe it is because I know they are addictive...But I just might. It would be nice for my graduation to be a proud event not an anxious one!
As for lack of sleep. I have tried many things lol. But I will keep trying. I bought a book on how to sleep well. I just started it. I think it will help! I hope!
Last night I did manage to relax and go to bed though. Around 5 am. Then at 6 am I woke up with extreme pain in my abdomen. I got up and went to the bathroom and almost fainted. Not when shifting position. I was actually sitting on the floor thank god. I was there in pain and all of a sudden I could not breathe, my vision went dark, I got cold all over but broke out in sweats, my head got light and spinning, and weird thing is it felt like my heart slowed down instead of speeding up! Like slowed, who has heard of that, I have PD! It was falling sideways and it felt like I would just go into a sleep. And yet was super uncomfortable! I thought: Man, if I could induce a panic attack it would be good cause my pressure would go up and my heart would speed up then I can't pass out! Who knew one day I would consider and attack a good option!? So despite my voicebox feeling funny I caled to my husband to bring me to the hospital. I did go and did manage to see a doctor with minimal waiting for this region. I saw a doctor despite the fact I had started feeling much better. That is unheard of in this region! On top of it the doc was super nice and took me seriously. He didn't try to blame this on my anxiety either! Very nice. So he did tests and sent me home. Said he would call me if anything is wrong. HE hasn't called I figure I am fine.
It was a very frightening experience. Funny thing is I knew it wasn't panic. I just knew. My heart beat was actually not fast at all at any time during all of it lol. And I am glad the doctor believed me. They usually don't. I feel better and more reassured that he took this seriously.
Anyway, all that that to say, I am tired but doing ok atm. I did sleep when I got home and managed to sleep 6 hours overall! So I actually feel good! I am taking it easy today but I am doing well!
. And you are right, I have come a long way. thank you for reminding me! The support I got here sure helped me along my way! And yes, It will get better, you are right! Thanks! This too shall pass!
. You're already a pro-social networker on the boards and have alot to offer the members here. You would do great in a doctorate program!
Karen, Health Educator 
