well its like I explained to my hubby, I have good weeks and bad weeks.
Last night was a high, I went for a 10 min walk (something I don't do) then I went to the drug store (I can usually do that) then popped up to the grocery store -never do that -and bought some vegies and signed up for their new points program. Each time I came home in between. I went out for dinner at a resturant 2 weeks ago for my dad's 50th (couldn't miss that) but the hole time I had it in my head I would not go until it came down to the day. and I kept telling myself I could do it and was their for 2.5 hours. I came home and was amazed (not going to lie, it was hard) but now I feel like I'm in a rut again.
Especially when you are finaly willing to get help and can't.
I live in a small town that is very central to some of canada's biggest cities, you would think help would be falling on my door step.
I laughed with my friend last, she said she always saw me going into the field of helping people (I kinda thought maybe a high school councilor) so I said to her nope I think I need to get over this go back to school and get a degree in phyc. then go to peoples home who have this problem and work with them to get them out the door.
Yes I finaly heard from the one person I left a message for, she told me that they only deal with severe mental problems. I guess being afraid to leave your home isn't severe!
So I'm back to square one!
Well I still I'm happy I left for a bit off and on last night and maybe I will get enough courage to see my family doctor and get going somewhere.
Oh and she (the lady who called back) did tell that me that the people I need to talk to are on the 5th floor at the hospital. I never have liked hieghts and I am patrified of elevators! ( I walked 4 flights of stairs in full labour) And I don't seem to like hospitals either since this has started!
I'm in for some real big changes! LOL