Thanks for the encouragement Danielle :) Today has been a rough day but I am still really proud of it! I am really exhausted now tho. But I used my tools and up to now the evening was ok. I am going to go color a bit to relax after my shower. It seems the shower thing is still a thing for me... And then heading to bed. I will most likely check in and reflect here some more tomorrow. I am nervous about tomorrow it is my first full day. But I figure if I did a half day I can do a full one! Keep you posted and thanks for letting me clear my head with you guys. It's nice to have people who understand all this... Have a good night all! -Diva

Diva, That's great! Even though it's a little rough, you're doing it! Keep it up and keep us posted! Your doing a fantastic job employing your coping strategies! Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist

Ok so last night I slept on the couch again but once again I managed to fall asleep without taking an extra .5 of clonazepam even tho I was super nervous about going back to work today, so I am really happy with that! Today is still a rough kind of day, I have to talk to myself and keep my thinking on track... But i did go back to work today so I am really proud of myself. I plan to repeat the steps I took yesterday to have a calm evening which is progressive relaxation, some exposure work and breathing exercises tonight. At least now, I have gone back to work so I know I can do it. Tomorrow is still nerve racking because it will be my first full day back but at least I have good proof that I can do it. So here is me figting back lol Have a nice evening guys. I will most likely touch base later since venting and reflecting here helps me get through all this. -Diva

Hiya Lorlee, thank you for stopping by and taking time to reply tome that means a lot to me. I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it. Just remember you can fight back too and that this too shall pass :) I really believe you can do this :) Also, I wanted to thank you for keeping me in your prayers that means a lot to me, it is always a comfort to me. I will think of you in my prayers also :) As for being an inspiration well ah sucks /blush! I donèt know what to say to that really except thank you and I am glad my experience may help others :) -Diva

Hi Diva, I can relate to what you are feeling as I too am having a rough time of it also. I know I am feeling pretty stressed as I have had a twitch in my left eye for four days. You seem to be trying hard to get things back on track so even though I don't feel I can be much help I wanted to let you know you are an inspiration to the rest of us. I will keep you in my prayers. :)

Today was a bit better then yesterday but still a rough day. Still feel anxious and edgy and on top of it tomorrow is my first day back at work and I feel really nervous about it. I had to do a lot of thought challenging today... But all in all, I tried to take good care of myself and I have made it through the day up to now it seems. Now i will go read a few minutes and try to sleep. I am still sleeping on the couch tonight but I am hoping to at least make it back to the futon tomorrow night once I have gotten over the whole going back to work thing. I must admit that I am feeling kind of frustrated with this latest little bump in the road but I am fighting back and hopeful that I will be back on track shortly. Thanks for letting me vent and reflect some more! -Diva

Well, I mnanaged to sleep last night. Ok, so I slept on the couch and woke up a few times but there was a few things with my night I am really pleased with. 1- When I woke up I did not panic or get anxious. I just told myself, meh, I still have time to sleep and went back to sleeping. Now, before, waking up in the middle of the night after a day like yesterday would have been really bad but last night I just turned over and went back to sleep. So I am pretty happy about that. 2- I went to sleep with having taken only .5 mg of clonazepam. That, I am really proud of. I had given myself the rght to take a whole mg if after a while I could not slep but I didn't have to. I went to lie down on the couch and then I did my breathing techniques and a self-hypnosis technique I learned some years ago. Then I did some nice visualisation, first thing I knew (or didn't know lol) I was asleep. So I am super happy with that, makes me fel like I have some control over things and like I am going to be ok. 3- I didn't wake up fast and anxiously this morning, I woke up slow and easy the way I like it which is rare in times of high anxiety and that is great! I hate when I wake up like I have been hit by lightning. 4- Since I felt generally relaxed, I went and cuddled for a few (like 3-4 minutes) minutes in bed with my hubby. I figure I wasn't there for long but it is a start to getting things back to normal. Now I would be lying if I did not say I don't already feel a bit more anxious and a bit more edgy then usual, but I am really happy with my night. I had been dreadin going to bed so badly! Now, I fell like tonight I will be ok, I know what to do. As for today and feeling anxious and edgy, what I did yesterday worked well enough to keep me at a tolerable level of anxiety so I also feel prepared for today. So I really think all will be well. I AM fighting back and most importantly I AM my own champion, I am relying on myself to winnot trying tohide behind others like I would have a while back and that I am proud of! Thanks for listening, talking all this out here with you guys really helps me feel saner and more capable of facing this. Thank you. -Diva

Dear Diva, Thanks so much for ring these experiences here with us. Fantastic use of all of your coping mechanisms! I love this quote "Also I feel proud that I am not letting this take over, that I am fighting back" - We are all so proud too! Don't let days like this get in the way of all the wonderful progress you have made. Please don't ever feel you have to apologize for venting, remember, that is why we are all here, to share these types of feelings. Take care, Casey _________________________ The PC Support Team

Hi, I had a really rough day today. IT felt like my body was in fight or flight mode all day.I tell myself that after last night it is normal and it is ok. That I have felt like this before and it passed and it will pass again. But in the meantime it is still rough going through a day like that. I did thought challenging and it did help and I will probably do a bit more before bed. I did most of my exposure work. I spent 30 mins in my bed to try and get used to my bed again after last night. I also went to take a walk which took me a lot but I thinmk in the long run it will do me good. All day I felt like crying. So while walking I let myself cry reminding myself it didnt mean I was getting depressed again or falling to pieces and that we all have rough days. I felt like holding myself into a ball and hiding all day. But I know the more I do that, the more scared I will be, So i made myself do interoceptive exposure and exposure work and relaxation and breathing and go for a 45 minute walk outside around my street and such. I am proud of myself for getting out there and for not trying to stop it all like I usually do. But it has been a difficult day and I feel sad a bit. Also I feel proud that I am not letting this take over, that I am fighting back. I guess the best way to get over fear is just to find ones own courage. At some momentsa today it was harder then others tho. Anyway, sorry for the venting again, I guess it just makes me feel beter to be able to let it out. Thanks and sorry for the long post. -Diva

Diva, Don't mention it. I'm glad you've come in to chat about it and remember, one night on the couch does not undo all the work you've done. Keep up with your exposure work and goals, you'll get back on track in no time. Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist