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Examining my own drinking

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Just to expand on my earlier post and in response to Ashley, I had a couple of glasses of wine last weekend with dinner. So i suppose you can say they were social drinks.

My motivator at this time is keeping off the beer to lose weight. That being said, it does feel better not to be drinking.

In some ways the bad drunks get the attention, it is the good drunks that fly under the radar. We can have a few drinks everyday and not be falling down drunk, or being rude or obnoxious - so no one really notices or bothers.

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Hi ATP,

I have been following this discussion and I am impressed with your ability to examine your own thinking. Slips are very common and are actually considered part of the learning process. It is normal to feel disappointed, but don't be too hard on yourself. The key is to learn from it and move on. What triggered the drinking? Was it because you had already convinced yourself that a glass or two was ok? Was it because you were in a high risk situation? Or maybe you were feeling particularly stressed that day? Whatever the reason, write is down and work on it. Each slip teaches an important lesson. If you would like to share what you have learned, I would love to read.

Take care,

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

You are right about powerlessness Foxman. I will read this chapter this weekend. I am planning to quit again. I felt so much better when I was not drinking and have to remember it.

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Go back to the incident and observe how your mind operated just prior to that slip. That is what we call in AA powerlessness. The mind either doesn't think at all or deliberates but then it overrides all the oaths we took and comes up with a reason why need a drink at that moment. I am glad you were able to stop with 2 glasses. Some other time you may not be able to control it. Not trying to scare you, just the nature of the condition we problem drinkers experience at times. I would suggest you read the chapter more about alcoholism in the book alcoholics anonymous so you can get to know the alcoholic mind operates. You can visit aa.org and read the book online.

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

So I had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner on Sunday night. In a way I felt like I was somehow cheating.

I don't feel like I have broken some vow, but part of me is disappointed.

That being said I am not drinking regular like I was.

Maybe this was a good thing. It caused me to stop and think about whether I really want to drink. Whether I can really only have the occasional drink.

I have no illusions. I worry that next time I won't stop at 2 glass of wine.

Decisions......

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Welcome atp and congrats on your 8th day.

You should soon see the advantages of not drinking, more energy, better sleep, etc. I slipped after being one week from two months and after 2 days back into the drinking routine, I could feel the disadvantages of it.

Hang on there!

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Dave and Lynn,

As much as I am sitting on the fence, part of me is starting to look at quitting drinking the same as quitting smoking. I came to realize from several attempts to quit smoking that I was an addict and if I even just took a few drags, before long I'd be back to pack a day.

I think this is taking time for me to accept what it is that I am committing to - quitting drinking. Part of me feels like it is not such a big problem, then I look at my drinking pattern and realize I was a heavy drinker. Rationalizations.

I'm on day 8, and although I miss having a beer, it is no where close to a craving or an all encompassing need. I'm pretty proud of myself to get this far and for all the soul searching I've been doing on it.

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi atp, you sound like you're in a good mindset. Drawing on my own experience, as mine has been similar to yours, I can tell that it WILL get worse as time progresses. I picture yourself in the future, say 10 or 20 years out, take the challenge you have had up to now and multiply it 5x, 10x, etc. Cut your losses now and live your life for the better.

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

I think I fall into the second group.

I'm on day 6 without a drink, and going on 2 weeks since I last really drank beer regularly. I keep waiting for some great revelation to hit me about how much better i feel, or weight I'm losing, or something. Those milestones to look for.

The bigger item at stake is I think I am really starting to consider just cutting out drinking altogether. Part of me thinks about just taking a break and then maybe allowing the odd drink when I go out, etc. Part of me worries that I'll return to my old ways in short order. I don't know. I wasn't planning on this, but now that I've gone this stretch without a drink I kind of like the 'freedom'.

I haven't stopped at the beer store in a few weeks now. No empties cluttering my garage. That's something.

4 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Will keeping off drinking make much of a difference?

It all depends on the individual. The book AA classifies drinkers into 3 broad categories. Ones that consumes a drink or 2 occasionally and can walk away from drink if they dont want to.

Then there are those hard drinkers that party like crazy. But given sufficient reason like ill health, threat of wife/gf walking out on them, they can pretty much stop or moderate on their own. Little counselling may be required.

And then the final one, who keeps drinking no matter what. If he/she tries to stop, he/she is miserable. Cant handle their emotions, they lash out out on others, road rage. Eventually the mind tricks them back into drinking. Only a spiritual awakening could fix them.

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Examining my own drinking