Fortunately for me I picked my white chip Sept 27th 2006 and never had to go back. But the first few months I was restless, irritable and discontented. Later on came to understand its because I have been medicating myself with alcohol to overcome the underlying spiritual malady. These are the few things I learned about alcoholism. Its a fatal progressive disease. Drinking after a long absence is going to make things worse. That the obsession of the mind/illusion/insanity will always say that its going to be better this time. And once I succumb to that insanity, I will keep drinking. So, I have to have different outlook upon life. Transform myself so that I can face life just like other normal people would handle. Thats were the 12 steps helped me. Today, I don't obsess over alcohol, I have fun in whatever I am doing. I don't hide from parties in fact I love watching other people drink so I can see if I can be of help to them later on when they need it.
A little over a year ago I realized I had a drinking problem and had come to this website for advice. Just having someone to talk to allowed me to be succeed in beating my problem. But recently I think I must have gotten overconfident, I've started to notice myself going back to old habits. Luckily I've caught myself and I can work on this, but my question is that now my hangovers are characterized by at least an hour's length of anxiety/panic attacks, and I feel depressed for the entire day I am hungover, and then it disappears. I was wondering what others' experience with relapse is, and if those symptoms are common in relapse (& subsequent recovery).
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