Hi all,
I'm curious if anyone has found that social anxiety has been a contributing factor to their drinking? As someone who grew up in a dysfunctional family because of alcohol abuse I was never comfortable with social situations. Remaining "under the radar" and not wanting to draw attention to myself was a common theme. This is a real problem when pursuing goals because finding success inevitably would draw attention to myself, which would lead to the eventual self-satotage and feelings that I didn't deserve success. This is a very difficult burden to carry as you watch those around you moving on through school and finding success. There is a conflicting psychology to this because, on one hand we may have fears of abandonment, where we are torn to leave behind what we are comfortable with, versus a need to escape the bounds of what is keeping us locked in place. It's a form of extreme thinking\ behaviour unto itself. I would gravitate to others who were of the same mind set and discovered early on that alcohol really took the edge off, or eliminated it completely. Drinking became a coping strategy for low self-esteem and a lack of certain life-skills I needed in order to feel better about myself and move forward. Do you ever feel stuck, unable to move forward? It's easier to see it now but was damn near impossible when you're growing up in a that environment and living in it. The roots of the problem run deep. They are like weeds choking off the garden of our own success. If we drink aren't we essentially watering these weeds with alcohol and continuing to feed the original problems the gave rise to the alcohol abuse (avoidance)? So in reality, it's the weeds that are the problem, not necessarily the alcohol. Of course, the alcohol is a HUGE problem and has turned these weeds into a whole new set of problems, but it didn't start there. So to say we have an allergy to alcohol is akin to saying we have an allergy to thinking and coping. This is why it's so important to stop drinking for a period of time, whether that be permanently or an extended absence, while we resolve the problems that drive the drinking. If we had an injury that developed over time, like a cracked shin, would we continue to kick something, even lightly (moderation) expecting it to heal? Of course not! We would take affirmative action to heal the problem.
I brought this up because I'm not that person I was many years ago yet still feel the echoes of the past influence today and perhaps some here may feel the same. There are so many positive resources to help move past these challenges today that were not available even 20 years ago, this site being one of them, and we have the good fortune to be living in the age that we are so we can take advantage of them to heal the past and expand our future. It's incredibly empowering so let every success , however large or small, fuel the engine moving you forward.
All the best,
Dave
