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9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

a77734,

I love that! That's how I look at it myself. I am leaving/left that chapter and am moving forward with the healthier (for everyone--myself, my family, my friends) life. That's great!! Thanks for sharing. I'm gonna make that my mantra! :-)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Someone posted this on an app I'm using to track my sobriety progress.

"I stopped drinking for 30 days at first and then found it worked for me so well, i ended up sort of leaving it behind me more so than quitting."

I really like this. Leaving it behind like a chapter in your life story rather always in the process of quitting. Obviously one has to be mindful everyday e.g. recognizing triggers/urges and building a healthy lifestyle, but it's nice to have a different way of framing it.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Dave848 - Thanks. That's good to know. I think I'll print my goals and have them near my bed. Is there any special way you keep yours clearly in mind?

Betterlife - Thanks a lot. Yes, not having the money there has worked great over the last week. Having accountability for my spending definitely works for me. There will be a time in the future that I'll take over again like a mature adult, but in the meantime it's great having her there for me.

That's great you're going for abstinence with both smoking and drinking. Good luck! You'll do well. What do you think your triggers will be?

Nodrama - Great. Yes, I will check in here everyday. It's been great so far this week rather than reaching for a drink just logging in and reading what other people have been up to and then finding out strategies, tools etc to fight the fight.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

I think one of the most important things we can do is check in here daily. I found that when I didn't I felt really out of sorts and weak and low. I think I was letting my AV take over and while I stayed the course I felt like crap. Then getting back in here and reconnect with my AHC friends has made me feel so much better. I need this to be my "go to" not alcohol and not feeling bad for or about myself.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Michael you're doing great, and every day sober is advancing you further to your goal. I like that you've put a friend in control of your money, it says that you're very serious about keeping yourself in a controlled state where you're not able to purchase as much alcohol as you want. I commend you for taking the initiative, and realizing that you need to do whatever it takes to maintain sobriety.

I joined this site 2 1/2 hears ago (formerly known as Camiol) and it's been a great source of information and support. I was able to reach moderation a year ago, and did very well with it, but now I'm ready for total abstinence. Today is the second day since I started on this new path. I also quit smoking 2 days ago....yep, I'm killing off all the demons, and hoping that I won't find it overwhelming and end up in an epic fail situation. I think I'm going into this with my eyes wide open and know there will be many challenges, triggers and situations that will give me "reason" to pour a drink or light up a smoke. I have a dear friend I can rely on for support and a swift kick in the pants when I need it, and I'm going to check in here daily.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi a77734,

Great work on the goal setting. The one thing I've realized over the last year (I'm going on to 14 months now) is that having goals like you describe in very important and that time will pass regardless. By maintaining those goals you distance yourself for the problem and you empower yourself at the same time. You're doing great so far. Keep going! You'll know when it's time to add or subtract to the plan.

All the best,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

and then having my sponsor make me kneel on one knee with my hand on the bible... yeah, too much.

I agree that is little bit too much. But thats one of the reasons, picking a sponsor is an important part of the process. I know a newcomer is like a deer in front of a headlight, people in AA should be considerate of the newcomers belief system and then prescribe what is best for them.

I do feel strongly about being an atheist so hearing every third or fourth sentence at an AA meeting refer to God and

Eckhart Tolle talks about using the word GOD as a pointer. Advices not to get attached to the word but explore the truth it points to. And thats your own conception. Yoga and Meditation should lead you to that experience what the ancient eastern Rishis talk about. The issue is we don't do it consistently.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Thanks for the replies everyone!

Tom17 - thanks, I will check that out.

Foxman - yeah people in AA talk about just having your own conception of a higher power. And that works fine with me. I did some meditation/yoga in my younger years so I'm open to the concept of a higher power or universal truth kind of thing. However, I do feel strongly about being an atheist so hearing every third or fourth sentence at an AA meeting refer to God and then having my sponsor make me kneel on one knee with my hand on the bible... yeah, too much. Thanks for your concern anyway.

Stillview - kidding, right? 3 days? I'm still in the honeymoon period... it's so easy kind of thinking. The hard work is yet to come. I wish you luck on you journey.

Dave848 - Thanks for the welcome. You're right. Drinking all of the time is not really living at all.

Regarding biggest triggers - stress (work, study or other), habit/routine, bored, lonely, social events/socializing, trying to pick up, reacting to peoples' comments that makes me feel angry (or some other emotion) inside, don't care/given up kind of attitude. I think this covers all the times I feel the need to drink.

Ashley - Thanks. I will try to keep this motivation up. I have a goal of 10 min 6 days per week on this site (or elsewhere) for self study on recovery. It doesn't sound like much but it's realistic and sustainable for me (usually I'll do more, but at least if I'm tired and/or stressed at the end of the day I know it's only 10 min I have to do).

Regarding the future - that's a good question. And good to start thinking about it now.

1 month: No alcohol for entire month. Exercised 6 days out of 7 for the month. Done 10 minutes + of self study 6 days per week on recovery.

3 months: I'd like to be 5kg lighter from the gym work not drinking. Start building better relationships with friends, family, women. In a good routine of working, exercising, socializing (without alcohol). Living a happy sober life.

12 months: I'd like to see myself debt-free with a little savings in the bank. In a stable relationship. Solid friendships. Communicating well with my family. Exercising. Studying. Living a happy sober life.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Welcome a77734,

Wow, great work! It sounds like you have a lot of work into this and you are very serious about taking control. This attitude will take you far. Keep on doing what you are doing, the more you prepare the better.

You have already done a lot of work so I don't have any advice on how to prepare but I do want you to start thinking future focused to begin think about this question, How do you think your life will look once you are a non drinker? What will you be doing differently? How will you be different? Where will you get joy? What will your challenges be?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Michael,

Welcome to the site and good for you for making a smart move to get this under control. Binging all the time is no way to live. There is so much more to life and wasting it drinking all the time isn't really living is it? As you said, AA isn't for you, and while it speaks to a few, receiving the message for others just doesn't compute, especially if you're an atheist. That being said, there are a lot of resources out available to support your goals and you've already put some positive ones in place.

What do you find are your big triggers for droning?

All the best,

Dave

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