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two months

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

sorry had to post fast my son needed me. anyhow as now I am starting to talk to someone becuae I had tried on my own to deal with healing my inner child and past hurts etc but I wasnt able to do it on my own it seems i do not know how to deal with my emotions as I started to run from them at the young age of 14 ish through alcohol etc... I do not want my son to have my problems or not know how to deal with issues that come in unhealthy ways as i have,. so i must relearn . These are all great posts thak you ,,,

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Hi Everyone

My parents drink a lot and well they dont see a problem, although while i had screwed up big time while drinking they were like meh its fine what ever we all do it..and I thought..no ..people who can drink (who are not alcoholics) do not do these kinds of things . My mother I can tell is not happy in her life and well I guess thats where the alcohol comes in although this is only in the last ten years or so ...not in my childhood.. but i have suffered a couple of different types of abuse myself in my childhood.You are so right when you say we have to heal our inner child!!!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi TS,

Great post TS and a topic that deserves a discussion in more detail. Healing from those wounds and confronting and resolving the dysfunctional coping strategies we developed as a result of childhood is key to our success. Just going back 2 generations and the magnitude of social perceptions and what was taking place during my own parents\ grand parents life time is quite staggering (oppressive religious views, world wide catastrophes, social expectations, etc). I've thought about that a lot and it's helped me to find a lot of understanding, empathy, and forgiveness for my parents and what the were subjected to as children. We are a product of those influences and my personal goal is to not pass that on to my kids.

There is so much to consider here. I hope those reading this will take the time to consider the roots of how their own challenges evolved. Using an example....think of the influences of someone who is 80 years old and what they were influenced by.....born in the 1930's into The Great Depression, WW2, overt religious views, social oppression in expressing themselves, rampant socially accepted racism, acceptance of alcohol abuse. Then consider the medical, neurological, and psychological knowledge and advances since then and the change in social attitudes, technology, and accessibility to knowledge and support. It's staggering. By resolving our challenges will help to free the generations that follow. Thanks for bringing this important point up TS. Much appreciated.

All the best,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 345

Hi There,

I’m starting to wonder whether there is anyone here who found themselves in an uncomfortable relationship with alcohol (or any addiction) who didn’t have some sort of childhood issues and or trauma. I believe many people fail to consider why their parents were the way they were. Whether a parent is guilty of substance abuse, lack of nurturing through absence, emotional (withholding love), physical or verbal abuse or was sexually abusive, the root causes if investigated will likely be apparent in their own childhoods and the cycle repeats itself. People are not generally born to be abusive, it is essentially a learned behavior and we need to accept and forgive our tormentors. Healing our inner child then is paramount to our recovery and to stop the cycle.

However, to continue to harm ourselves through maladaptive behaviors (excessive drinking) is allowing our inner child to take control. We are now picking up where our parents left off and abusing ourselves. We need to acknowledge and grieve for our inner child, all the hurts, the feelings of abandonment, the abuse in its many forms and embrace the fact that those experiences are part of who we are today. Now we need to learn from our past so that we do not make the same mistakes and develop strategies to ensure a better future. Nurture your inner child, accept and love yourself. Let’s not let the wounds of our inner child dictate our lives.

Really, all we ever wanted was to be loved, we’re not going to find it in a bottle.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Congratulations!

How have you celebrated your success. Remember rewards are important, not only to reinforce your motivation but also to learn new ways to celebrate without alcohol.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Junes,

I'm really inspired by what you wrote and how you are taking this challenge head-on.

The same goes for you Kez. I can see so much of myself in what you both have written. It always amazes me how we seem to have grown up in the same household. I'm not sure if you'll be able to relate to it but I wrote my thoughts down in my blog under a topic "Power vs Powerlessness" that kind of describes how I came into this crazy relationship with alcohol, as I've reflected on it for the last 12 months since I quit. Have a read if you like and see if it might relate to these ideas you've described. I find the blog is good to get your thoughts down because these boxes only hold so much info. The blog allows for a lot more space.

Well done to the both of you!

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 94

I think I know how you feel Junes. I'm in my early thirties and I've just come to the realization that I need to actually learn how to function emotionally in the real word building from the very bottom up. Like I'm 12 years old again. I have used alcohol to deal with absolutely everything in my life - happy, sad, lonely, stressed, socially anxious, to accept a hug, to try and talk to someone, to give a hug, you name it. When I am able to peel off a few of the layers without alcohol and triggers, I realize that I really have a hard time living in the real world. I am professional "hider". But it's time to deal with it.. and I 've been talking to someone too bc I clearly can't do it by myself.

And, you've provided people support simply by writing what you write. I never would have said what I just did had you not said what you said first.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Thank you Dave, Toxic and Kez

I think the keys for my success are to remember all th self destructive choices i made while drinking,to remember how I felt the next morning,day and week etc...The emotional struggles are from childhood and past hurts etc sameold record player ...but i am focussing on dealing with it and finally moving forward . I have ran from dealing with it etc for the last 20 years plus. it is the past and needs to stay there itsd just the emotional hurts ..I do not know how to deal with my emotions as that was my drinking was for i suppose. I also have anxiety so have to deal with that . But been speaking to someone cause I need help with it dont know how to do it on my own.

Thank you so much everyone ...really. I have come here at my lowest of times and the support here has always helped when i felt so alone. you all understand me here and it means alot and \i hope that i can offer the same support back.

Have a great day all .

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 94

That's really awesome Junes -- two months is a long time in this realm. How are you coping with the emotional struggles when they come? Keep up the hard work, you're an inspiration.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 345

Just fabulous June! It takes real commitment to stay the course. Just keep that focus and embrace the new you. Looking good!

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