hello 

    thank you Dave . you are right i do need to leave the past in the past i have been dwelling in it for 21 years.... wow what a waste. have to let go of the hurts n resentments i have been holding on too but dont know how.... guess thats where counselor comes in. you know when someone starts a juicing fast? some people wonder why they feel so badly for the first 3-5 days ....and the reason is because your body is detoxifying. thats why some people dont continue because they dont realize thats whats going on and stop because they feel so gross and sluggish and really badly ....but then once the toxins are out and they continue to juice then they feel great ...well i feel like im in the part of the toxics are all coming out . i feel low and like gross with emotional emotional guck. but I know if i continue this path i will feel good at some point. just unsure how to do it ...letting go of resentment is hard . i have tried. sorry I dont mean to sound so negative . I do feel good and am very proud of my 22 days and commitment to not drink ever for sure!

Hi Junes,

 why is it so hard for me to not drink or just have one? have no clue 

Thank you Vincenza 

  If I want to really give it a good go I have to learn to face th epast to keep it where it belongs in the past and not run from things ( through alcohol) Its going to be really hard. I know . but I cannot keep torturing myself. I am not a good drink I turn into a different person and something always happens 99 percent of the time and its not good . like i say stupid things or behave stupidly etc and always feel bad about it next day. I have proved time and time again me and alcohol DO NOT mix why i keep drinking , why is it so hard for me to not drink or just have one? have no clue . but the fact remains its not for me. and i have been told this by others who have been around me when drinking . maybe one day I will understand more .

Hi Junes,  Vincenza, Health Educator

Thank you Ashley and Sian 

   yes i am on day 16. I did how ever go back to talk a counselor who helped me in the past . Ihave to deal with my [ast in a healthy mannor, And yes Sian i must start taking care of myself also . \\i am so harsh to myself right now in my life and realized I have been all those years back.

 Thank you for your replies 

Hey Junes, I remember all kinds of past baggage that resurfaced in my first couple of months sober. What I learned to do was write a short journal entry of the memory (private - not online!) Then I could give myself permission to "park" that problem until the time was right to work it through. There's no rush. It's normal for your emotions to be all over the place at this stage. You'll feel better if you focus on looking after yourself physically - plenty of rest, naps, walks, healthy food, scented candles, bubble baths, early nights, whatever it takes to have a healthy balanced day. Later on you may be able to get counselling to work through the issues, I did after quite a few months alcohol free. All the very best - Sian

Ashley, Health Educator

Hi Cassy 

    yes its just like all of a sudden my mmemory wants to work and these things are poppping up and jsut remining me of jsut how drunk and dumb i was you know . And I a not trying to feel sorry for myself ihave done that for way too long its just making thngs harder . Not that i want to drink and make it worse I mean i just spent years running from issues one way or another whether it be alcohol or working alot etc so now that i am jsut me and jsut trying to get through its a bit hard. 

I can totally relate to what your feeling. I guess, they are just reminders for us to keep away from alcohol, but I understand how horrible it feels to slowly "remember" all the crappy things we have done while drunk.