Hi Dave,
Really no need to thank me as you're the one who introduced this very thought provoking theory. Furthermore, by doing so, I know you've encouraged others to become more introspective and facilitate their own healing. What surprises me is that no one else has shared their experiences or even commented.
Through my own dissection of thought, I recognized my self destructive behavior was initiated by the way I was nurtured. Yes, I know, is it fair to blame our parents for all that is wrong or was wrong with our lives. Well, to a degree in my opinion, yes. The parent will argue that they did the best they could, that you survived. There you have it again, that black and white thinking. What if their best was not good enough? And really, was it their best? I would hate to think that your and my experiences are anyone's "best."
In my quest to heal, I traveled to the country of my parent's origin at the age of nineteen. There I had the opportunity to meet his siblings and more importantly, his parents. My father's step-father was exactly the same as my father even going so far as to attempt to grope me when visiting. Interestingly, both of my grandparents were screamers. I was privy to observe the interactions between him and my cousins and saw clearly that this entity was the conduit of my childhood misery.
This epiphany helped me immensely as this is what convinced me that I had to conduct my life and raise my children, should I decide to have them, totally opposite to the way I was reared. Mistakes I certainly did make but when I did I admitted them to my children and examined the issues through role plays.
Black and white thinking has had, without question both a profound negative and positive role in who, I am.
