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Deciding when moderation doesn?t work.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi LisaDawn,

Pretty crazy eh? I think we all know what you mean. Detox is a roller-coaster of emotions. I commend you on pushing through. It IS going to better. I still feel moments of anxiety but they are far and few between. I quit smoking about a month and a half ago so I think I've covered the full spectrum of emotions. Try to detach yourself from the moment and look at the situation from an outside perspective. I do that and it helps me to identify areas of thinking I need to work on. I had that situation today. A interaction with someone really put me off in a bad way and I started to dwell on it, re-running the interaction in my head and getting progressively more PO'd about it. After half an hour I realized what I was doing and it was that progressive obsessing that winds you up and creates a completely unnecessary amount of stress. I'm glad it happened because I learned a really valuable lesson from it and it gave me a very clear vision of who I want to be, rather the person that lets stress keep them locked frozen from moving forward, medicated by alcohol. It makes me shake my head we could have done this to ourselves. Fortunately we're getting everyday. It's a struggle for sure but you're going to do it. Like going to the dentist, you just have to push through it.

Keep your head up LisaDawn. Don't short change yourself and not feel really good about what you've accomplished. You're doing an outstanding job and should be very proud of yourself. I really admire how far you've come.

Keep up the great work!

Dave

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

I hear you John . I tried to watch a little of what I ate today but the problem is if I get hungry then cravings are so strong and I don't even know for what. I have had a rough day on Day 10 with all kinds of imagined scenarios of when I will drink again and what great times it will be and I won't get drunk. Same things I have told myself before but that use to last tops two weeks then I would get pretty drunk again within two weeks of trying to moderate. The cravings are bad today for some reason but I know there will be days like that. I felt very emotional today which is unlike me. I even cried for my dog that passed away three years ago while chatting to my dog that I have now. Just very emotional. I am assuming that is a normal part of the process. I know I have to carry on as I am not drinking on day 10 today but I wish I could have some days without any stupid cravings or at least not as strong as they were today. It is funny because even this am when I was happy to have 10 days in I reminded myself not to get too euphoric as that is a trigger for me as well. No wonder I want to cry all day. Can't get too sad or too happy, as all triggers. I will consider this a day where I just have to push on. LisaDawn

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

LisaDawn, I'm eating more than usual too -- binging on candy instead of booze this weekend. Will try to resume normal habits (I mean the good ones) this week. John

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Hi ElizabethRRRR....it went very well last night. My daughter and I had a late lunch at a sports restaurant after we finished shopping and without even a second thought I ordered a club soda. Ordering a drink didn't cross my mind at all. My best friend didn't end up popping over so it was a relaxed evening and I had no temptation to drink. Today was another successful day. I had an urge to have wine tonight when I got home from work, but I didn't drink and for the first time I didn't feel like I needed to have a club soda to curb the craving.

Turquoise I'm going to fight for this new way of life. If I begin to see myself slipping back to my bad habit, I'm going to have to reassess my decision to moderate. I feel good about being able to get through the work week without drinking and even during the weekend I'm being mindful of how much I drink. It feels good to not drink during the week. I hope over time it will be a lot easier to go even longer without having a drink, but for now I am content with this and I'm not letting my life revolve around alcohol anymore. There's so much more in my life that is worthy of all of my attention and devotion, alcohol is taking the back seat.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 161

Hi Camiol, how did it go last night? I am doing better this past week.

Hi Lisa Dawn. Dave, Turquoise, Camiol... so proud of all of you.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Great work LisaDawn. I imagine the physical symptoms you're experiencing will pass as your body is in detox mode. Do something relaxing that you enjoy, for example, an epsom salt bath, reading a great book, going for a long walk etc.. Keep up the momentum! Vincenza, Health Educator

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi LisaDawn,

I felt the same around the same time. Lousy sleeping, headaches, tired. That will pass. You're at the tale end so stick with it. Great job by the way! When I took a break in January I did a workout program and changed my diet and stopped drinking. It was pretty extreme but I felt better but didn't plan to quit. This time I stopped drinking first and made that my priority. I would smoke while I was drinking and it started to spill over into my non-drinking time, although when you drink everyday you smoke everyday. I tackled the smoking when I had a month of no drinking behind me. So I now have 2 months of no drinking and 1 month of no smoking. Like Turquoise, I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted within reason, although I have had the urge to have candy, which I typically don't eat. This week I'm working on my eating and had to mentally focus on not buying a box of Mike and Ike's when I was at the store tonight. I guess my point is you are on the right track going one step at a time. First things first.....you need to get past the withdrawal phase and move to the next.

Excellent work LisaDawn! You are doing so well and I really admire your strength and what you've accomplished so far. Keep going!

Best regards,

Dave

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

LisaDawn, don't worry about the eating and the smoking, for now. One thing at a time. I gave myself permission to eat ANYTHING I WANTED until I got through the worst of it. Yes, I gained some weight, but it was so much better than the alternative. I'm slowly losing the weight again (at 10 weeks sober) and it has helped me see that life isn't all horrible and nothing but deprivation. Let that pizza and chocolate help you....

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

Hi all: Thank you for all your support. No sleep last night and I feel like somebody ran me over with a truck. Tension headache for a few days but hopefully that will pass. I will just get through the day and then maybe feel better tomorrow. Even though I am tired my first thought was not I will have a couple glasses of wine to get me through tonight. I just need to be tired when I am tired. I have been smoking a bit which was usually my drinking habit so I will have to curb that. Eating has not been as good as some days the energy is just not there to prepare a little healthier for me.did you all find that? Camiol I will have to go through the friend thing as a couple of close friends will not drop by without a drink. There is alcohol in the house but the thought doesn't bother me so much as I am going to have to face it everywhere I go. I have only one friend that does not drink and she stays to the bitter end for any party she attends. I don't know where she gets the energy for it but hope to have that choice some day. I do think some friends just won't be calling once they find out I am not drinking but that is ok. I was nervous at the wedding of not being able to relax but eventually I did and had a few good laughs like I would have if I was drinking so maybe the relaxing will come easier as I go along and maybe I am not as social as I want to believe I was. I know for sure I drank at times to get over being nervous in social settings. Here's to day 9 and all of your successes. LisaDawn

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

Hey LisaDawn, you made it through the wedding!!! Second giant hurdle has been successfully passed (the first was quitting in the first place.) You wrote two things in particular that really resonated with me. "The worst part was nobody was as drunk as I would have been by that time when I left to go home." I have felt that way before, and it's 'sobering' isn't it? The second was "I am usually the fun one which translates to the one who drinks the most so no one else has to feel bad about how much they drank." I am also a very fun drunk, and I'm still learning how to be "fun" when I'm sober. I definitely still have a nice time at functions where I used to drink, but the wish to drink is always there, and I know I'm not quite as 'fun' now. I know that will eventually come, because I have an old college roommate who has always been a ton of fun at parties, and she's been sober now for 25 years. And fortunately, I'm not really a big partier. My harder times are the dinner out with my H, or the long day that always ended with drinking wine. Anyway, today I am ten weeks sober, and the day-to-day is getting easier.

Camiol, yay for you that you haven't been drinking at all during the week. If you can stick to this, and moderate during the weekend, that sounds pretty healthy to me! John, I have also been in a situation where someone who was drinking made a big deal about me being "on the wagon" (strange term, isn't it?) and it really irritated me. It's strange how much of our secret identities are tied up in either drinking or not drinking. When someone else tries to define me by that parameter, it literally feels like a total invasion of my privacy. Dave, you and I are both starting month 3 -- I'm feeling pretty strong about it, at least at 5am this morning.....

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Deciding when moderation doesn?t work.