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Sobriety Gang (SoGa) - a support group for staying sober

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 161

Vin, all good here. :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Hi |PJ,

Thanks so much for the book ideas, I will look into these for sure! :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 234

Hi Jan,

I was functioning as well and then the depression and self worth kicked in as well. It's amazing how we rely on alcohol to pick us up but it destroys us in the long run. I picked up a book called "the addiction solution" a few months back, it's quite good, you might want to take a peek at it. It explains a lot of things in reasonable terms. Also,

"A Guide to Developing on of lifes most important skills : Happiness by Mathieu Ricard

"Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts" Carol Tarvis and another co-author.

Very interesting books, they have helped me a little bit in my journey. The Happiness book is quite phenomenal to be honest.

Keep the motivation, if you feel it slipping check in on here, I come here daily, sometimes multiple times a day a long with other users.

The MoGA group is really supportive too.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Thanks for the kind words PJ. After reading both your posts, we do sound similar! You are right about the "just stop drinking" where someone with an addiction can't understand how it's not that simple. I guess because I've been a relatively functioning person (even though I've had a lot of issues with depression and low self worth) I never thought that I had a problem. But finally, I can admit that I'm addicted to alcohol and binge drinking, that it IS a problem for me and I am the only one who can do something about it. I've spent the better part of 20 years blaming everyone else for my problems, but I need to take responsibility and ACTION! :)

I find when I am going to the gym regularly and am eating more healthily, I am a more positive person. Good for you for getting there and doing it! I need to get back on track too. Thanks for helping me get motivated.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 234

So I was able to get to the gym Friday Saturday and Sunday. Had a great jam session with my buddy yesterday and then went out for supper.

I've been eating well and I'm trying to take it easy on myself and not beat myself up too much. These days, I seem to be the only one who is capable of doing so, and when I do it makes me feel down.

I'm glad I have my car back, I can now head to group tonight, then the gym and then home!

I also caught up on some laundry and started tidying up my room and rooms around the house. When I'm motivated and sober I'm super productive. clean cut and energetic. When I'm using everything just goes down the crapper. I need to maintain this lifestyle, and keep applying it daily.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 234

Hi Jan,

Welcome aboard. I have struggled in very similar ways that you have. Say I’m going to stop, and last for a month and fall back to old behaviors. It’s been a challenge but throughout the journey I have found things that I need to do to keep myself sober. I’ve slipped and fallen down but I’ve still kept some kind of motivation inside to keep standing back up and keep trucking forward.

I have had the same response when I shared with my family. They are lead to believe that it’s a simple process and to quote “just don’t drink” sure if it were that simple I wouldn’t be going through outpatient therapy or need to turn to this site for support. It’s the mis-conception that you can just stop whenever. However the disease of addiction isn’t overly friendly and only has one goal, to keep going. I’ve felt lonely in my journey to sobriety, but I have gained a lot of control back into my life and have met some great people.

How you go through your recovery is entirely up to you. Do you feel having a support group around you could be helpful? AA is a great program, myself I go to an outpatient clinic and they have aftercare twice a week and taking steps for men (it’s a male only addiction service) It’s nice to see the same familiar faces coming back, and all the positives in their lives. It’s also nice to share the experience of the disease without having to jump through hoops to explain it to someone who just doesn’t understand, at least from my experience.

You’re definitely not alone, I can promise you that. There are lots of people on this site and out in the world who support you and want to see you succeed, myself being one of them.

Try not to dwell too much on the past (I know it’s easy to say, I dwell all the time, but I’ve been catching myself to shake the moment) You’re moving forward Jan, and people around you are there to lean.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Hi Jan,

I have replied to your other post too but I will add here as well.

First of all, you are not alone. You will learn after posting here for awhile that we will be there for you no matter what. We will help you through this. Your husband's support will be helpful but it is not essential. How have you talked to him about this before? I encourage you to tell him everything you have said here. Tell him moderation will not work for you. Tell him how this is making you feel and how badly you want to change. Ask for his support, let him now how he can help. Ask him to be open about how he is feeling about all of this too - tell him you want to change for both of you. You both really deserve this.

When it comes to your friends, it is up to you how open you are. You will need to avoid trigger situations until you are more confident in your quit. And if they will trigger you to drink then you will have to avoid them - only you will know when and if it will be ok to see them again. This my sound drastic but abstaining from alcohol is a big life change.

Feeling scared and uncertain is normal, let it motivate you and make you determined to take control. You will be able to do this. Starting with a two month goal is great. How will you reward yourself for reaching that goal?

You may have said that you will quit a hundred times before but this time will be different. Who do you want to be Jan? What do you want your life to look like? You have the choice and control to make it happen. Now is the time.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Hi SoGa,

I just joined this site today. I have tried many times to quit binge drinking and the longest I've gone is 1 month. I've done this about 3 times in the past 20 years. I realize now that I need to be sober. I am unable to stop after just one or two drinks. I just keep going and going.. some binges are definitely worse than others. The one I had friday past, I don't remember the end of the night or how I got to bed etc. This might sound silly, but after all the damage my binge drinking has done to my mind/body, I'm scared to say that I am going to quit drinking because I don't believe that I can. I've said this hundreds of times in my life, only to find myself back in this out of control scene. I don't feel that I would have the support of my husband, if I was to tell him that I have a problem with alcohol and I want to quit (any time in the past that I have talked about getting help, he says you just have to stop drinking so much). I'm not sure how most of my friends would react. I'm afraid of being alone in this. I REALLY do want to change my life. I can't go on like this anymore. I'm not sure if I should just try and do this on my own, with the help of the online group and see what happens. Maybe try to get through 2 months (which would be the longest I've EVER been sober since I was 15) and then share with my friends and family in my quest for sobriety? At least if I slip I won't have to feel like a failure to them as well as to myself. I have been reading through the site with regards to the plans on how to say no etc. but I'm afraid that I won't be able to. I realize that this is going to be hard and I have to be strong. But it's hard to be strong when you feel alone. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

PJ, you seem to be on a role of making healthy lifestyle choices. Even a 20-minute walk each day does wonders for the body & mind (in case you aren't able to make it to the gym). Keep up the momentum - you are doing great!

ElizabethRRRR, Glad to hear you are still on track with your quit goals & that your laptop has been revived as well!!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 161

jojo, oy vey indeed. Still on track here despite stress, mostly good stress. Enjoying work and family. There's just so much! Looking forward to regroup time this weekend.

Laptop crashed Tuesday night. The way most people feel about their phones, that's how I am with my little laptop.

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Sobriety Gang (SoGa) - a support group for staying sober