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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

Oh, tonight was rough. My friend had a beer (one of those eclectic theaters that serve wine & beer and bistro food), and my usually good-natured daughter got real clingy and started whining halfway through the movie about not feeling good, but she didn't want to leave. I ended up eating most of her popcorn, which I didn't really want, and drinking water, while smelling my friend's beer, which I really did want. It was impossible to truly enjoy the movie. Then I got home and could tell that my husband had had some...something... to drink, and I didn't ask what because that seemed perverse, but I was dying to know. How sick is that? He has every right -- HE'S not the alcoholic, and he's being so careful not to drink in front of me. My daughter was needy all the way until bedtime, and I got impatient with her. Ohhh... The rest of the world is finally in bed now, and I'm in a pissy mood.

I'm proud of you, Camiol, for keeping yourself busy and sticking with club soda and lime. I bought some lavender tea yesterday because I thought it sounded exotic and appealing for times like this, but it sounds totally unappealing right now. I made a date with another friend to go walking early tomorrow morning before my kids are up, so I need to go to bed right now or I'll never get up in time. Tomorrow morning I'll feel better. I always do. Except when I'm hungover....

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Club soda is a great choice, a twist of lime and/or a splash of cranberry adds a nice touch and it gives you the sense that you're having a cocktail without the ill effects.

I managed to stay distracted the entire day. I started off with cooking a large pot of sauce and meatballs this morning, finished up the laundry, did some housecleaning then was able to prime the bathroom. I baked muffins after I finished the priming and by the time I finished all that, it was time to cook dinner. I will admit that just as I was gearing up to prime the bathroom, the first thought in my head was "I can have a nice drink after I'm finished". I quickly realized that I was not going to have any alcohol and made myself a club soda and lime. Keep telling myself this is all for the good of my health, my weight and most importantly, no negative impact on much daughter. I am finding it a bit rough but I can tough it out.

Hope you enjoy your evening and if the wine isn't so great...all the more reason to refuse it. There's nothing worse than crappy wine. I love wine....way too much unfortunately. I look forward to hearing how you made out this evening, and if you chose the club soda :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

I'm going to an eclectic movie theater in a few minutes where they serve wine & pizza. I'm going to have pizza. Girding up to refuse the wine. It's not even good wine; I think I can do it. Club soda, maybe? No earrings yet -- no time to get away and get some today, but I think it's important to reward myself for going an entire week, so I will stop at a store after work tomorrow and get something fun and inexpensive. Camiol, how are you doing with the distractions today?

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

That's awesome that you abstained last night, it must feel so good to have made it to one week eh? I didnt drink either, I kept very busy with yardwork and my body is feeling it today...lol. My husband took a lot longer than expected with the tile work in the bathroom so I didn't get around to priming it yet. I'm hoping possibly today I can finally do that. I was able to get some cleaning done in the rec room, but still have lots to do in there.

My friend didn't end up coming over yesterday which made it easier for me to abstain. My husband made himself a cocktail after dinner and offered to make one for me and surprisingly, it was pretty easy to decline.

If I can't get into the bathroom to get it primed today, I'll be in the same boat as you...not a lot to do. I'll have to find things to do to keep busy. The weather isn't the greatest today but I suppose I could wash my car and do some puttering in the house.

You most definitely should go get yourself some earring today....one week sober is a great reason to treat yourself. I hope and pray I can reward myself next weekend for being sober for a week. Right now I'll be happy with one day.

Let me know what kind of earrings you bought, I'm a huge fan of bling!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

Good for you, Camiol! I hope you were able to stick to the soda. I had a long talk with my best friend, in which we both talked about smart it is to stop after one drink (ha!) and I almost talked myself into having one. But...I didn't! One whole week now. I am celebrating Father's Day today, because last weekend I was too hungover to even remember that it WAS Father's Day until my husband gently said something about it in the evening. Sigh. I stayed busy all day yesterday, which was why I never had a chance to get back to the computer. Today I am going to take my daughter out to see a documentary about dancing. She is 6 and my son is 9, and they (and my husband) are the most wonderful things that have ever happened to me. Again, very similar situations - I'm 49, but have spent my life feeling athletic and attractive, and I don't want to turn into an old lady - especially now that I have young kids. And I am planning on a second tattoo at some point - maybe when I turn 50, or maybe when I hit a year of being sober.... :-)

Good luck today. I don't have nearly as much planned to keep me distracted today, so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that I can focus on the good stuff and find things to do. And I AM going to go out and buy some earrings this afternoon. How did the construction go?

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Wow Hitting50.....it's amazing how much we mirror each other. I am beginning to feel more and more that I can do this. I think we could be great support for each other. Like you the weekends are very difficult for me to not drink. I did have a few last night, but woke up this morning feeling like crap and pissed at myself for drinking last night, then I read your post and I felt like someone out there truly knows what I'm going through, and how I'm feeling. I had my massage this morning and when I got home I got doing laundry then had to run out to Home Depot for paint and finishing supplies for the bathroom. I haven't started working in there yet, my husband is doing the last part of the tile work, but I did go outside and did a lot of clean up in my flower beds and trimmed a lot of my shrubs. I sat down and had a cold club soda with a twist of lime.

My best friend is planning to stop over this afternoon, she is my drinking buddy. I have already decided what I'm going to tell her when I refuse a drink. I'll tell her that I'm slowing it down for a bit because I want to lose a few lbs. Rewarding yourself is a great way to celebrate your success of being one week drink free. I like the 6 month plan of having the blood vessels removed. I got my first and only tattoo at 44 years old...not ready to get rid of it yet...lol.

My daughter is 9 years old. She is the light of my life. I want to do this for her and for my health. I may be 46 years old but I don't want to look like a 46 year old or someone even older. I've put too much money into staying young looking, booze is just blowing it away.

I will be thinking of you this afternoon, I know you can make it through the day without booze. My club soda is my drink of choice today. There is booze in my house, but I'll remain strong and not have any. I won't begrudge my husband a drink, just because I'm trying to live a sober life. I too will check in later today to see how you're holding up, and let you know how it's going for me.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

Camiol,

Amazing similarities... I also quit smoking just over a year ago. I've always enjoyed drinking far more than I enjoyed smoking, because I love the taste of good wine. I too, have a much harder time with the whole concept of giving up drinking.

I did make it through dinner last night. My husband and my best friend who came along with us (both of whom have been my favorite drinking buddies for years) have no idea how many times I had to remind myself why I couldn't have just one sip of what they were drinking. I mean, a sip doesn't count, right? Just like snacking while you make dinner doesn't have any calories, right? I did tell both of them that I want/need to quit drinking entirely...for awhile. I haven't brought myself to use the word alcoholic with them, but I said that I've been drinking too much, and I feel like it's affecting my health. They are both supportive, and I am not going to tell them to stop drinking because of me -- and they carefully did not offer me anything last night. So, one big hurdle cleared. At least once.

Tomorrow will be a week, if I can make it through today. Saturdays are the hardest -- I often start drinking right after lunch so I can float through the afternoon and evening. I have no alcohol in the house, and I am going to keep myself busy today by taking my kids to gymnastics and then helping my friend move. No alcohol in the house is the key. If it's here, I know I will drink it this afternoon. It's hard to think about getting through an entire weekend without anything. I bought some fancy tea yesterday, but I haven't been able to convince myself that I can enjoy it as much.

Camiol, your bathroom/ rec room activities sound like a good way to keep yourself busy. Turn on some music really loud, put on grungy clothes, and act like a college student (without the beer). Your daughter will probably get a kick out of that. How old is she? If I can make it until tomorrow -- one whole week! -- I am going to celebrate by buying myself a pair of earrings. If I can make it a month, I will get a facial and a massage. If I can make it six months (that sounds so hard!) I will consider doing photo-laser therapy on my face, which is supposed to get rid of all those little blood vessels and sun damage. I did it once to remove a tattoo, and it worked really well. It's expensive, but six months of drinking costs about the same.

Good luck to you today. Please let me know how it goes -- I will check this site later this afternoon and let you know how I am doing. It actually helps to know that someone else is going through similar struggles. I will be thinking of you.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Camiol,

The fact that you are here, participating in the forums and reflecting on how your drinking habits are harming you AND ways that you can avoid drinking shows that you have the willpower and determination to also beat this addiction and improve your health.

It is very effective to focus on each day, or each hour at a time and take small steps towards your goal. Your alcohol free days will begin to add up.

In your earlier post, you mention being afraid to give up alcohol and afraid to admit your drinking problems to your friends. Can you share what it is that you are afraid of? What is it that you fear happening? What do you imagine your life to be like if you do give up alcohol?

Here for you,

Vincenza, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Hi Hitting50......first off I want to say your response to me brought me to tears. You said so many things that really hit home for me. I thank you immensely for that. You are so right about how,we can look successful on the outside but hide a monster (demon for me) on the inside. Your suggestions of facials and massages are wonderful and these are things I do take advantage of. In fact today I have a massage appt. In keeping up appearances, the new non-surgical facial rejuvenations are my way of staying young. Having said that, it doesn't seem to be hiding the fact that alcohol is changing how I look. I spend a fortune to look young and a fortune to screw it all up with booze. How stupid is that? I see the little broken blood vessels developing at the sides of my nose, these are the telltale signs of an alcoholic. I can see my skin changing, the hardened look is starting. Not to mention that what was once a 6 pack of abs, pardon the expression, has now become flabby and an embarrassment to me. So perhaps my vanity will help to motivate me to quit as well as the sheer desire to sober again.

When I drink it's either with my best friend, my husband or sometimes just by myself. My husband doesn't drink often, I see my best friend usually once a week, the rest of the time I drink alone. Finding things to keep me busy enough to

not drink will be difficult at first but I will have to figure it out. You have a great deal of wisdom and you seem determined in your decision to quit. I need to find that determination within myself to be strong enough to do this. One day at a time is probably a better way to do this rather than saying I'll never drink again, or perhaps it will have to one hour at a time. All I can say for now is I will do my best to not drink today. If you can suggest anything to help me get through the first few days, I'd really appreciate it. You've opened my eyes and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Hi Ashley....I do need to find a motivation to give me the strength to quit. I thought just the love I feel for my daughter was enough. I think that since I joined this site with the goal of simply cutting back was a mistake. I fooled myself into thinking I could just drink on the weekends. I tried with serious conviction to limit how much and when I drink, but it's very evident I can't do that. I need to stop altogether, and I admit there is a serious fear that's holding me back. I'm afraid to admit to my friends that I have a problem, and I'm afraid to give up something I truly enjoy. I try to tell myself that I can do this, I know what it's like to stop an addiction....it was 5 months yesterday that I quit smoking. So I'm well aware of how it feels to give up a "best friend". I just don't know why I'm not so willing to give up this horrible habit. My husband has been diligently working on building me a huge, gorgeous bathroom in our basement, and I need to get it painted in the next few days, perhaps even this weekend. My issue is I keep thinking that this is going to interfere with being able to drink. I should be looking at it as an opportunity to NOT drink. I guess that could be my motivation today Ashley....and I also need to do some serious cleaning and organizing in my rec room because it's in a shambles since we've been under construction. Ok today im going to give it a whole hearted effort to not drink at all. Lord give me strength.

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