Camiol, you made it through day four! Yay! And you've lost one alcoholic pound - I hope you never find it again. I'm still trying to shake a second pound, but at least the first one hasn't come back. I went out for dinner tonight, and my husband also had water instead of a glass of wine -- sort of a first for him -- and it seemed easier. But I also felt guilty because I feel like he would have had wine except for me. Now that I write it down, though, that sort of guilt seems perverse -- either I'm enabling him, or else trying to drink vicariously, or something. Blah blah blah. At any rate, I also made it through another day, which makes it ten days for me.
So weird (sorry, I guess I'm kind of butting in on your conversation with Vicenza) but I have exactly the same fears as you about quitting drinking. I've always enjoyed drinking so much. I like who I am when I'm buzzed. I like my sense of humor, and my ability to relax and laugh, and everyone else likes who I am when I'm buzzed. Life is a lot more fun that way. It's not that I DON'T like myself when I'm sober, but it's so nice to be turned up a notch. I never get obnoxious or mean or stupid, just happy and eventually tired. But then...it's the constant quantities that scare me, and the more-often-than-I-want-to-admit driving under the influence, and the frequent hangovers. If it weren't for all those really important last bits, I guess I wouldn't have a problem.
So, I spent some time today practicing saying to myself "I am an alcoholic." Shudder. Nasty words. And they're always immediately followed with "So what? What's wrong with being a highly functioning alcoholic?" I haven't yet found a single compelling answer that I can cling to, but I keep trying on the most important ones. (1) My kids see the huge pile of discarded bottles every week and think it's normal. (2) My liver is almost fifty years old - although when the monster is whining, that one's almost as useless as the abstract "smoking will give you lung cancer someday" (4) I feel like crap at least once a week, if not more. (5) DUI is dangerous, not to mention illegal.
Anyway, I'm proud of you for making it this far. You're more than halfway through an entire sober week. Vive la soda water with lime!
I think that sticking to the virgin drinks is the best way to get through the next week, with the long weekend and etc. If we drink enough virgin stuff to slosh, then there won't be room for alcohol, right?
