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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

I made it two weeks!!! And I lost three pounds! I've been eating a lot, so it's purely from the lost alcohol calories. I haven't gone two weeks dry in a LOOOONG time, and I can't believe it, but it does seem to be getting easier. Afternoons & evenings are never a breeze, but I am feeling so incredibly much better in the mornings. I made it through two days of dry "vacation" - only ten more to go. This morning I'm feeling like I just might be able to get through my upcoming party without drinking. I've decided I'm going to take a gallon of margarita mixer, and drink it without the tequila. That way, only a couple of people will even know I'm not drinking. I also found a very funny online article about a guy who stopped drinking but continued to "act" drunk when he got around his drinking friends, because that way he can be as silly and stupid as they are, without the hangover. http://hellobubs.com/post/17052863136. I'm way too old to do that kind of partying, but it made me laugh.

I have always been a carb fiend (one reason why alcohol and I have such a love-hate relationship) and I have found that if I can stick to really high-fiber carbs, it fills me up and satisfies that urge without quite the damage. This sounds silly, but one of my favorite snack/junk foods is something I got out of a book. You melt chocolate chips (or white chocolate, or peanut butter chips), then mix it with a super-high-fiber breakfast cereal (the kind that looks like kitty food) called Fiber One, and throw in a handful of chopped pecans. Once it's all cooled down, it makes a great impulse snack food, because you can eat until you feel sick, and it's actually pretty healthy even though it tastes like candy. My other eat-until-I'm-stuffed food is roasted peanuts, because they are fairly cheep, and high in protein.

I am definitely going to reward myself with something today. I don't know what - maybe a pedicure? I'm feeling very strong this morning, and I'm starting to feel like I can do this. Right now I feel like if I have a single drink, my progress will start to unravel, so I'm back in the "I need to abstain forever" mindset. In a very perverse way, it helps that I've failed so many times with the controlled drinking, because part of me knows that I will always fail if I try that.

It is getting easier -- at least the physical part. Now I just have to focus on replacing the "habits" with different ones.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

It is horrible to feel like your entire body is one big knot, but I found that it does pass if you give it a bit of time and can distract yourself. Its being strong enough to not grab a drink to ease the tension in our bodies, that's a big challenge. Grabbing my club soda has got me through a lot of those times where my body wants nothing else except a good, stiff drink.

Get yourself a few packets of sugar free gum, it does wonders for the cravings. I chew gum non stop at work. When I'm home, I eat....lol. I need to find other ways of dealing at jome instead of stuffing my face with food. I try to eat low carb, high protein foods, but today was all about the carbs. Ah well, it's only one bad day....tomorrow is a new day with new struggles and challenges. Off to bed now. Good night ladies and sweet dreams to all of you.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 36

I hear you. I think I just ate a pound of cheese. That knotted up feeling is the worst.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Hi Monica....wow it is very evident that youve had it very rough for many years. I cant imagine how you have been able to deal with all the difficulties you've been through, but I suspect it's because you are a very strong person. Having said that, perhaps you can draw on that strength to get you through the tough times and lean on us for support and encouragement.

Triggers are very difficult to get through, I've been there several times in my quest for control or abstinence. I would be driving home from work, my body in knots and determined that I was going to deal with the stress by drinking it away. I did do that for a very long time. Recently, instead of grabbing a glass of wine or mixing a drink, I grabbed a cold can of cljb soda and would either add a twist of lime or some diet cranberry juice. I can tell you honestly that club soda saved me from indulging in many drinks. Deep breathing is also a great way to get through a craving. During the day at work, I chew a lot of gum. It helped me with quitting smoking and it gets me through the day when I crave alcohol at work. Sweet things seem to help reduce the cravings. Today I'm pretty much eating anything that isn't nailed down....lol, but at least I'm not drinking.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 80

Hi Camiol,

If it is a part of a life style you and your husband have, that you have to control yourself. Try to discipline yourself like I am trying to discipline myself now - no more brandy at home! Don't give pressure on yourself otherwise another problem will come- depression.

Always remember the word 'CONTROL' - this is the first strategy to myself.

Hope you are doing fine.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Hi Turquoise....the struggle really is difficult isn't it? The swaying back and forth on whether to abstain or try to control is what is tearing me apart.

I took a couple of those online tests a while ago and he's I was also classified as an alcoholic. It was scary to see those results on screen, even though I knew deep in my soul that I was an alcoholic. I remember the first time I realized I was an alcoholic, I was at work and the thought hit me so hard that I found myself in a state of panic. OMG how could I let myself become an alcoholic? How did I allow myself to become like my mother?!?!? It was like a huge wave of fear and dread hit me. Then depression set in....how was I going to deal with this and why did I lose control without even seeing it happen?

My big struggle is that my husband and I enjoy sitting on our deck during the summer months, enjoying a couple drinks and admiring the back yard. It's our little bit of heaven on earth and to have that relax time with him is a wonderful time for both of us.

I got my bathroom painting completed and I rewarded myself with a club soda and cranberry juice cocktail. I had thought about having a drink, like I do every day, but I decided against it. Tomorrow we are off to the lake for the day, again another struggle to overcome, but I shall persevere. .

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 36

BP, I am in the same place. No kids, no one who depends on me, just a lot of hours to fill.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 80

Hi Turquoise, don't worry, we are at the same thread...

I am a little bit difficult here because I am single and I don't need to take care of kids, family so on and so on. I have always free time for myself to drink and that is why to control myslef not to drink is hard. But I am trying to discipline myself.

thanks for your support.

Black Pearl

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Congratulations on making it through the night without brandy BP.....I'm happy for you and I'm sure you are feeling very proud. You are taking baby steps, which seems to work for you, and each step is a huge success. You must be on the other side of the world BP, it is still June 30 here.

I chose not to drink tonight and I choose not to drink tomorrow too. Im starting over and feeling I can do this with the help of all you supportive people. Keep up the good work BP, you're doing great so far.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 36

Best of luck and congratulations.

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