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The Patchwork Quilt of Addiction

Timbo637

2025-06-29 5:59 PM

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What food is actually considered Healthy..?

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2025-03-03 11:17 AM

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Health Educators or Moderators missing?

Evolution

2025-03-03 11:16 AM

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Est- ce qu'il y a des forums actifs en franc¸ais ?

Timbo637

2025-02-20 12:27 PM

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13 years ago 0 36 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Funny, my father was a drunk a** too. I think my drinking has always been on the radar for that reason. I remember family gatherings when I was younger where I would get so angry at family member who counted my drinks while chugging their own. Or at least that's what I thought at the time.
 
Though maybe I should have known when I was 13 and my mother found a bottle of my dad's vodka in the glove box and threw it out the window while she was driving and I went back later to get it.

13 years ago 0 409 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hope -- how is your evening going? I am "hoping" you are having a great time with your daughter and not putting yourself in a position where you will feel bad about yourself tomorrow. Hang in there! You are doing great with the planning ahead, so keep that up. That is so important. I wonder what would happen if you offered your friend non-alcoholic drinks, and just told her that you are trying to cut back for awhile? Would she quit being your friend?
13 years ago 0 409 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Monica, my thoughts are with you to make it through the fallout from your mistake last week. Perhaps that's the worst aftertaste of all -- finding out later what really happened while the monster was in control. It hurts. My elderly mom also got on my case last year, even though she's generally very non-confrontational. My stepdad was an alcoholic -- a mean one -- who died a couple of years ago. While visiting me last summer, my mom said that I drink far more than he ever did. Ooh - that hurt too, partly because he drank the hard stuff and I don't (huff! so there!) and partly because he was such an a**, and I'm always nice and happy. Of course, at the time my mom couldn't even fit her recycling into our bin, because it was literally overflowing with bottles....

By the way, I meant to say happy Canada Day to all you Canadians! I'm so glad I discovered you. 
13 years ago 0 36 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Camiol, I know just what you are saying. I have done that so many times. Even as I read it I am thinking 'well hey, thanks not very much'-but I know that for most people, it is a lot. I remember my mother accusing me of being drunk once and I told her that I hadn't been drinking, I had only had a six pack, and her response was that if she had six beers she would be wasted. I don't go in much for AA but there is something to say about the one day at a time, or even on minute at a time. I don't know about you but if I start thinking about NEVER having another drink I get horribly depressed. It is much easier to think-well I am not going to drink right this second. 
 
Turquoise- congratulations! I love the color, what a great motivator. I think a lot of us never treat ourselves to anything special because of the cost. Just think a pedicure is what 20-30 bucks, I don't know about where you live but that won't even buy three drinks here, and yet I will forgo the pedicure as a frivolity and run up a couple hundred dollar bar-tab instead.
 
Hope, maybe you could go for coffee or something similar with your work friend. It is no where near the same thing, I know. Perhaps you could explain that you are on a diet or fast to avoid the potential awkwardness of talking about drinking.
 
I made a mistake (while I was drunk) a week ago that I just found about on Sat. The kind of mistake that could cost me the business that I have worked so hard to build. I can't remember wanting to drink quite so much in my life, but I didn't. I'm pretty proud of it. Last night was a lot easier, got through it pretty smoothly. 
 
All and all, everyone is doing great! Proud of everything. Just keep in mind today is a new day, nothing can be done about yesterday or tomorrow. We only have control over this minute that we are in. 
13 years ago 0 1853 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Turquoise,  Love the reward to yourself.  A great reminder to stay strong
 
Camiol,  You are absolutely right - today is a new day.  Be gentle on yourself and take your situation yesterday as a learning experience. 
 
Hope,  You're strategy to plan out your night is a great one.  Keep that up.
 
To everyone, I encourage you to work through the program on this site - the section called 'Dealing with Difficulties' will help give you ideas and options on how to cope.
Of course, continue to be involved on the forums.  Your advice for one another is fantastic!

 

Vincenza, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 51 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Camiol,
I also did what you did last night a million times  before that. Once I start I cant stop drinking and while drinking the first, dreaming for the second. If I was alone at home on Saturday, I knew I could not stop. Fuctioning well after 6 drinks is not a big deal for all of us, since we increased our thresholds very much with drinking that much. But we are not trying to quit for not  being able to do housework or sleeping children after drinking. This is not our problem. For me, drinking is (was) the only thing that I do for pleasure and it replaces every thing once I start. I hate not remembering what I talked on the phone with my mom and friends the night before. I hate putting my daughter in front of TV to be able to drink and smoke freely! I hate not being able to sleep and not being able to wake up because of exessive drinking.
 
Today is different day and a new week is starting. Dont let feeling bad decrease your motivation to be abstinent and makes you want more alcohol. Just try to remember how well you felt last week and what strategies worked well for you, so that you create new and similiar ones.
 
Since I realized that arranging environmental factors is working well with me I started to plan every single night before it begins. For example, I dont like drinking with a full stomach, so I ate dinner as soon as I got home. I start a game with my daughter, so that she doesnot let me go anywhere before it finishes or try to go out from house.
 
The big news is; my collegue with whom I drink so much who was on leave last week came today and my struggle just begins now. Usually, I'm the one that offers drinking after work to her and she never refuses. Our day is just finishing and my dillema is inviting or not inviting her for a drink after work. My only motivation is my daughter. I didnot see her during the weekend and she is waiting for me to play with. Since she was at home whole day with babysitter, I'm sure she watched TV more then a couple of hours. SO I have to go home alone and spend time with her.
 
Let's try to be strong like last week we did again and good luck to all of us..
 
 
 
13 years ago 0 409 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Camiol, you sound so much like me!!! How many zillions of times have I done that? I lost count long ago... 7 beers, and a mixed drink -- gee, is that really too much in a single day, especially when you space it out through the day? Come on, no problem. I can also be completely functional with that much alcohol and more, and even convince myself that I'm perfectly safe to drive home, where I finish up a happy day with housework and etc. I never feel drunk, just nice and happy, so what's the big deal? It's not until the hangover the next day that reality kicks in.

I think a person can't truly make a successful decision to be abstinent until they are 100% convinced they can't do it any other way. I have logged years of doing just exactly what you did yesterday, and I still constantly struggle with "but maybe I can do it this time." For thirteen days -- this time -- I've managed to convince myself that abstinence is the only thing that can work for me, but I still have the same conversation with myself multiple times every day.

Today you are starting over from a stronger position. Even if you (and perhaps I) end up only doing this once every few weeks, that's a lot better than doing it every day. And then maybe it will turn into once every few months, and then maybe never again. My primary goal is that I don't want my kids to grow up thinking it's normal to have dozens of beer bottles and wine bottles in the recycling bin every single week. It was the same thing when I quit smoking. My kids got old enough to smell it on me, even when I snuck away and hid to do it. I did NOT want them to grow up thinking that smoking is the least bit desirable. But it took years of the same bull**** to get there. I've now been two years without smoking, which really does feel good. And -- I no longer crave cigarettes at all, believe it or not!

With all that said, I'm bargaining with myself even as I write this. What about my husband's neat trade-off idea? That might work! And it might.... I may have to try it before I can convince myself that it doesn't work, either. And maybe it will. Bleah. It's exhausting. It does feel good to be thirteen days sober. But it's also depressing, because it also feels good to have a buzz. In the long run, though, that is even more depressing, because a buzz usually isn't just a buzz. A buzz usually turns into problem. But this time maybe it won't. Or maybe it will.... 
13 years ago 0 616 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
So my husband and I went golfing yesterday and I didn't look as foolish as I thought I would.  I actually golfed a 
pretty good game.  My misgiving was that I drank too much and feel a bit crappy today.  Why do I do this to myself?  I have learned that control is just not within me when it comes to alcohol and I need to commit to being abstinent.  I HATE that I am not able to have the control and just be a social drinker.  Anyway I refuse to beat myself up over this, I know what I did was a slip, and I need to understand that I can't drink alcohol without the consequence of drinking too much.  I had 6 beer on the golf course, then we went for a late dinner where I had a mixed drink.  When we got home I had another  beer.  Go figure I was still functioning perfectly fine.  We moved the new vanity that looks like an antique dresser and weighs a ton, to the new bathroom, and I cleaned my laundry room, and swept the floor.  

Today is a new day, a fresh start.  I need the support of my new friends on here to help get me on track.  It's time I change for good, I felt so much better when I was six days sober.  
13 years ago 0 80 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I never think about to give myself any rewards for not drinking. Really, I never thought of it. I think if I could totally get rid of brandy, it is always a great reward to myself.
BP 
13 years ago 0 409 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
So, here's my 2-week sober reward. A pedicure with turquoise polish. I've never done something silly like this before, but it feels kind of good. On Wednesday when I start to feel week, I'll just look at my toes....

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