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The past haunts me!!

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The past haunts me!!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 26

Hey There,

I don't know how old any of you guys are.....

When I was in my 20's, I had a boyfriend that I L-O-V-E-D.........very much. I still think of him now.

It did not work out. I was very unhappy for at least a year or more.

I am now 42, which, believe it or not, really is not that old!!!! I am now married, have three children, a great home, and a wonderful life.

When I had my breakup, I honestly felt like there was no getting past it. Oh my goodness, I really felt like it was the end of my life, no kidding, it was awful.

Well, now I have a great husband, and a family. I still remember things from 20 years ago, but at this point in time, they help me to appreciate even more where I am now.

Just hang in there. Pick up, have a plan, and go on with it.

You WILL BE FINE!! I am sure of it!!

Any thoughts?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 156

Shyryan, are you going to meetings. They help us feel not so alone. Any maybe we just might meet someone

to hang out with.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 9

I'm in the same situation, charman. She's with someone new now. It hurts a lot, and I've tried everything to get her back. But I now realize that, her happiness is more important. If it was meant to be, they will come back. You just have to let go and leave it in their hands.

It's hard for me because I dont have many friends to hang out with, but once I prove to myself that I can stay sober, I would like to go out and try new things, meet new people. Hang in there, we'll find someone!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 156

Thanks Janie. Good Advice.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 156

Thanks Athena. I'll try to work on improving myself instead beating myself up over the past.

Happy 24 hrs to you.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Hi Charmain, it seems to be one of the hardest things about getting sober is thinking about the past since we no longer numb the pain with alcohol. I struggle with this too, I just keep trying to refocus myself on today and some positive goals to try to keep my mind off the negative parts of the past. Easier said than done, I know.

I just keep telling myself that no matter how much I think about the past I cannot change what happened so why waste another day thinking about the bad things that I can't change. I have the power to make the right decisions now and just focus on that. Get yourself healthy physically and mentally and then you will be ready to focus on meeting someone new again. A new relationship with a new and improved you! Good luck!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 171

Hi Charmain,

I can feel your pain. A very wise person told me that the way to get past your pain is not to try and numb it with alcohol, but to allow yourself to feel it and know that you can survive it. Be good to yourself and expect others to be good to you as well. I am thinking of you.

Athena

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

You are not alone.

But yes, going to meetings is a good idea. The more you can get out there and challenge yourself the better. Your hard work will pay off.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 156

Ashley, thanks soooo much!! Your kind words and encouragement mean alot to me. I will try and work

your suggestions and I know I need to go to meetings as well as I am feeling alone.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Charmain,

I am sorry you are feeling this way. Thinking about this clearly would cause pain. I wish I could give you a big hug and let you cry about it for awhile. At least know you are not alone.

Know that it was the addiction and not you and now you are taking control of this addiction. That takes strength and courage so recoginize that. Recovering from the guilt is a common problem for members here. It takes time, patience and normally a lot of talking. You need to learn to forgive yourself, which is not easy. Counseling might be a good option for you in order to resolve these hurts and come to turns with the past. Journalling can also be a good idea or writing a letter to your ex (you don't have to send the letter).

Charmain, I know this will sound cliche but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. You may think now that you will never feel for someone like you did for him but I really don't think this is true. I don't normally speak about myself on the forum but trust me; I have felt that way before and I proved myself wrong. You are very vulnerable now so this will be amplifying the feelings you already had for him. Focus on yourself now and on getting healthy. You will meet someone who will open up your world in a different, beautiful way when you are ready. Trust in yourself and keep being positive; this is a time of growing and learning it will be painful but there is a much bigger purpose to it.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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The past haunts me!!