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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

Quit Smoking Community

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Browse through 411.768 posts in 47.066 threads.

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I need support from others who understand :(


13 years ago 0 653 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Dream Reality,
 
Welcome to the program! I congratulate you on taking the first steps in what sounds like an important journey for you. Have you started the reading and activities in the program? You should find it very helpful. Have you set some realistic goals for yourself, for today or for this week, or this holiday season?
 
As you can see, you will find much support,information, and encouragement in the forums. Post as much as you are comfortable.
 
Tiana, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
"it is the disease you think you don't have anymore"

There is a story in the book called Alcoholics Anonymous, where a Car Salesman (dry at that time) goes to the countryside looking for prospective car buyers, here it goes:

On the way I felt hungry so I stopped at a roadside place where they have a bar. I had no intention of drinking. I just thought I would get a sandwich. I also had the notion that I might find a customer for a car at this place, which was familiar for I had been going to it for years. I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober. I sat down at a table and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk. Still no thought of drinking. I ordered another sandwich and decided to have another glass of milk.

"Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldn't hurt me on a full stomach. I ordered a whiskey and poured it into the milk. I vaguely sense I was not being any too smart, but I reassured as I was taking the whiskey on a full stomach. The experiment went so well that I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk. That didn't seem to bother me so I tried another."

Thus started one more journey to the asylum for Jim. Here was the threat of commitment, the loss of family and position, to say nothing of that intense mental and physical suffering which drinking always caused him. He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk!

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This is what AA calls Obsession of the mind. That queer thought it will be ok to take Whiskey with Milk.. and then the physical allergy kicks in, where he orders the next and the next... then ends up in the hospital.


13 years ago 0 325 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Welcome to this great supportive ACH site. I can relate to everything you are saying except I do not have any children (by choice) but I did have alcoholic parents and it is devastating on a child to grow up in that atmosphere. I always ask myself why I drink when I saw all the damage and heartbreak growing up. I can not understand that unless there really is a weak gene inside of me that predisposed me to it. I too worry about my health down the line. So I am so glad you are here. Check in often as it is a wonderful refuge anytime you need it.
13 years ago 0 171 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi DreamR
 
I am so glad that you are reaching out for help again.  I can so relate to your feelings about not wanting your daughter to see you drinking too much and thinking badly of you.  I have two children (ages 5 and 9) and my concerns about the impact of my drinking on them has probably been my biggest motivator to stop. I  am now on day 25, but if you had told me even a month ago that I would be here, I would not have believed it would be possible.  I still don't trust myself to have any alcohol in the house.
 
Think about quitting or cutting back for you.  Not just for your daughter.  She will reap the benefits, but ultimately you need to do this for you.  So that you can feel good about yourself and unburden yourself of the shame and guilt.  It is a heavy heavy load to bear.  When you feel hopeless, remember that alcohol is a depressant - in the end it will always make you feel worse, not better.  You are strong and brave and you can do this.  This site has been a huge support to me - check in often and let us help you on this journey.
 
I don't know if it would help for you, but it really helped me to set a goal of not drinking at all for a month, but still allowing myself to consider the possibilty that I might be able to have a glass of wine or two eventually when I go out to dinner.  I don't think I will be safe to drink at home for a very long time, but I need to believe that it is not completely all or nothing.
 
For now - focus on building a support system.  What supports can you use to help you each day?  This is a great support for late at night when you wouldn't be able to call someone, but who can you spend time with during the times of day that are difficult for you?  What can you do to fill the time that you would normally spend drinking?  Imagine how you might feel without the alcohol in your system day after day.  We are here for you.
13 years ago 0 1022 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi DreamR... thank you for coming back and posting.  That's really hard to do when you are feeling so awful.  I'm sorry you had a bad weekend. Tomorrow starts a new week so maybe we can both start over together.  We are really fortunate to have such a safe and supportive place to come for help.  It's a good program and the ppl here are key.  Keep coming back, checking in, do the program, post often... all of it helps... but we do have show up and participate.  I hope you have a peaceful night.  "See you" tomorrow.
13 years ago 0 12 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have been drinking for as many years as I can remember, at this point I am lucky it has not affected my health but who knows what the future holds, that scares me.
 
I am petrified my lovely daughter will think less of me as she sees her mom drink to excess.  She is beautiful and all things good in this world and yet I can't stop for her, that scares me most.
 
I feel constantly defeated by this disease and I beat myself up on a regular basis, it controls me, I feel powerless and hopeless.  I live in fear all the time....
 
I have tried many times to stop drinking to excess but as I heard someone once say "it is the disease you think you don't have anymore"  I always seem to find some excuse to keep from stopping and I hate the fact that at times I enjoy it so much.
 
I am coming here hoping for help because hate feeling this way after a weekend like the one I just survived...
 
Wishing everyone all the best in their quest to be better :)

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