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Feels like hell week all over!!

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Feels like hell week all over!!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 653

Great support here for you Sparky. You can do this! It will get better! Focus on your accomplishments, be proud, stay strong.

Peteg- long time!

Tiana, Health Educator

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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3307

Thanks guys (((HUGS))). Ron, thanks for being here for me. I knew coming here was the right thing to do

. I don't want to give this quit away, but I am scared really scared. I have to remember to look forward and the past be just that. Eya, you are doing it, just keep it going. Life deals its cards; it is up to us on how we want to play them. Jazz, Lolly always has such wisdom. Thanks for asking about Dewey. He is doing okay for now. Last MRI showed no change and that is a good thing. But he is not my old Dewey

. The surgery, radation and chemo did their number on him, but he is alive and we can still stuff together. Peteg, so glad to see you back. Thank goodness they let us keep coming back. SSC is the best, isn't it? Aloha, thank you!! I asked Dewey if I could get a dog this time and he said NO, can you believe that?? Mr. Kitty is plenty for now. Cameless, you are so right, it always comes down to a CHOICE. My choice today is keep the quit

Keep the Quit

Sparky

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 377

Ok Sparky, This time is going to be different. Anything going on that's bothering you right now? Are you able to get up and get excited about your day in some way, or is things getting a little stressful? What can we do to snap out of the funk that sometimes life throws our way? We know the cig just aint going to solve this situation, you've tried that many times and it didn't work. So I know you are going to resolve this because it is only temporary. The quit does have phases but the longer you stick it out the easier it will become. You are not yet 6 months you do know that addiction still wants in if you are not careful. What do you think you can do to make this get better? We can help just don't be shy. Keeping quiet never works. Support and just writing down what your feeling are can make the difference. And remember your number of smokes you've said no to is nearly the same as the amount of posts you've made which is in itself a big achievement Congrats

. Don't give that away on a bad day or week or month for that matter. Your doing great one day at a time. Ron

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Oh my Sparky! Here I was thinking I'm so smart now that I have 50 days under my belt! But I can see that this journey is far from over! Thank you for these posts All of U !!!! Looks like Tahlula has hit a similar roadblock in what appeared to a 'done deal' Quit! & Peteg too . . . sigh! So glad you came here - these folks who've powered thru this and willing to stay and help others are amazing! Hope you feel better soon Sparky! You can do it - so many people here rooting for *you*!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 802

Hi Sparky. Good to see you again - I was thinking about you the other day and wondering how you and Dewey are doing. I copied and pasted an excerpt from one of my old posts. It was one where I was requesting help because I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. It's a response from our dear Lolly, and it helped me immensely. I hope it does the same for you.

Jazz

Hi Jazz,

The words of your title to this thread are everything. 'Negative Thinking...' I agree that you need a hug and a hand to help you through, but YOU need work at positive thinking!

Many of us older quitters have gone through the same stage as you, and I'm sure there are a myriad of ways we all dealt with those negative feelings. There has been a lot of advice for you in this thread, and doing some of it may help you out. Ultimately it comes down to you! You have to dig way down deep and bring all those positive thoughts back into your thinking. It may be hard,but it can be done.

You are strong, and you can beat the Nicodemon.........This is your old addiction rearing its ugly head and trying to make you weaken. You cannot allow that to happen! Laugh in its face! Find ways to strengthen your resolve and make you absolutely determined not to allow negativity to creep in. You said you hope this will stop soon. It can stop now if you really make it happen.

Thinking of you in your fight!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 206

Hey, Sparkle --

Of course I agree with Sans Camel (who would dare not, after all??), but I also sympathize with your experience in the deepest way. While it does, of course, involve a "choice," we've seen that the options presented by this "choice" are all extremely unattractive, are they not? Smell like an ashtray or continue to feel like something that should be flushed down the toilet. Golly, which would I rather do?? And those are really the only two on bad days, are they not? And those crummy bad days seem to outnumber the good days by 10 to 1, do they not?

In the past, I had always opted for the former: better to smell bad than to feel bad.

Now I'm trying to form new categories and create (yup, just invent away!) new options that go beyond smelling bad, feeling bad, controlling, and being controlled. Those just didn't work for me. It was way too good/evil, black/white, right/wrong for this hopeless addict to wrap his feeble mind around.

Now I'm trying to think in terms of the identity I'm trying to create for myself (first and foremost) and present to my world (second, but also of some importance). It sounds like "smell bad/feel bad," but it goes a little deeper than that. (But since it's me, not MUCH deeper!) I don't want just not to smell bad, I don't want to be a person who doesn't care what he smells like. I don't want just to smell bad, I don't want to be a person willing to inflict that smell on the people around me any more. I want to think I've somehow evolved from that a little.

Evolution does not come without cost, sometimes quite high. In order for the stronger urges/selves to survive, indeed to flourish, the weaker urges have to die off or, in some cases, be killed off by the stronger. Mine haven't died off on their own, so as masochistic as it sounds, I'm about the business of systematically killing them off. I know, only in my own case, that if I don't, they will surely kill me and make my life a living hell in the process. They've actually done an excellent job of that so far!

So of course, Sans Camel is right, it IS about choices, but they might be more life-and-death on so many levels than we realized. There really is more at stake here than feeling good. (And God forgive me, no one puts a higher premium on feeling good than I do!!)

Don't know if that helps or not....

peteg

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3207

Deep breaths, Sparkster. Just ride it out. How about a beautiful spring day walk? A nice hot shower? Some drawer/closet/cupboard re-arranging? Aren't you painting something now? Seems to me that these milestones are when you've lost it before. I know they were major triggers for me, too. Please find another way to reward yourself. You'll be glad you did..lol...I was just thinking it's a good thing you didn't follow Jazz' example of buying a new plant for every month with your kitty reward...you'd be on that animal hoarders show by now...lol It will pass. You know it will.

-aloha

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 410

Hi Sparky,

What I like best about the SSC is most quiters here are not judgmental. If something is bothering us we can come here and go away with positive support. This is not easy. It has to be the most difficult test I've ever taken! I smoked like a chimney forever !The positive thing about all the questions you raised is you hat have a choice in all of them. It all hinges on what you want! You (we) know you can do this!

Hang in there!

Cameless

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3307

Man, I am almost six months quit and I feel like I am doing "hell week" all over. All I think about is smoking

. I know I am at a milestone in my quit and that it can trigger "stinking thinking". I haven't been posting much because I don't want to sound like a cry baby. I have been down this path so many time and it breaks my heart that the craving just won't leave me alone. I keep asking myself "Is it worth blowing another quit? Do you want smell like an ashtray? Do you want to have that awful cough back? Do you want to control what you want to do or do you want the cigarettes to control you?" Of course I don't, but I am tired of this. My husband quit 7 years ago when I was trying to quit and he never looked back. Why do I make this so hard or is it the addiction? Well that is my story for today

. (((HUGS TO ALL OF YOU)))

Keep the Quit

Sparky

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Feels like hell week all over!!