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I?m Just Wondering....

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 206

Hi, Helena! Um, has anyone mentioned that you look just like a butterfly! (Albeit a somewhat monochromatic one that just flew off the set of "Wicked?")

In answer to your question, Yup, I am throwing cigarette money to a few groups I have known, trusted, and supported through the years. My primary focus has been on the US, but in deference to this great site, I'd like to branch out to my neighbors to the north. (But I know this isn't the place to do any more than mention one possible rewards path.)

peteg

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 221

Hi Peteg,

This is a safe place, where you are free to express your thoughts and feelings. So if you needed to tell the group that you were ashamed of yourself, then that is part of your recovery.

Congratulations on getting through Heck Week! Be proud of yourself!

You've mentioned that the money you spent on cigarettes could have gone to buying blankets and meals for indigenous populations. Is this something you would like to do with your reward money?

To our members, how have you used yout reward money?

Helena, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 57

So true to my heart Pete, I can identify with everything you said. We have to keep fighing this.

Lula

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 206

Hey Jim. Thanks for posting.

My brother also died, but not from smoking. He had lymphoma, and my marrow/stem cells couldn't save him. He never smoked a day in his wonderful life, so I am all the more shamed.

I was kind of all about celebrating the end of "Heck Week," when I saw my stats. 700 cigarettes not smoked in 2 weeks. Who WAS this person who could inhale 700 sticks of poison in 2 weeks??

I used "reward money" to completely clean the interior of my car and spouse's car, but really, isn't it "guilt money?" Isn't it the very least we can do, given the carnage we have wrought for God only knows how long?

I'm all about the "rewards" thing, but perhaps an appropriate starting point might be a simple acknowlegement (??) of the harm we've caused to date and a humble and heartfelt apology to those we love and those we do not even know for inflicting our disgusting habit on them in ways we may never know.

700 F-ing cigarettes in 2 weeks is beyond my comprehension. I can only imagine how much smoke I blew into innocent faces; how much litter I created with my toe crushing the butts; how much money I spent that could have bought blankets and meals for the indingenous populations of Canada and the US.

My self-indulgence shames me in ways you cannot imagine, but it re-fires my zeal for Not One Puff, Ever (NOPE) again.

Not so in keeping with the spirit of the SSC, which I support with every ounce of my being, but I am simply ashamed of myself and need to say that out loud in this group.

peteg

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey PeteG!!!

Click on my picture and read my reason for wanting to quit! After my father died of lung cancer a little over 3 years ago, I knew that if I continued to smoke my days would be numbered! About 4 years ago, an x-ray showed a spot on my lung! It turned out to be scar tissue or something, but that also really scared the crap out of me! I seriously tried to quit right after my father died, but failed. I did vow to try again soon after that and succeed, though!

You have been resilient and have not quit quitting, Pete, and I commend you! Fight the fight, buddy, because we both know what the possible outcome may be! My brother died of lung cancer when he was 55... Chose life and kick that demon's ash!!!

Jim

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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 290

Tiana,

Going to talk to doc on Thurs.

Due tomorrow = Do tomorrow....Just kiddin'.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 653

Hey All,

Thanks for sharing your personal stories! It is so empowering! And it's a great strategy to focus on the 'why' to help you maintain your resolve and committment in this tough fight. Thanks for starting this helpful thread, peteg.

Sparky, how goes the battle? Our thoughts are with you.

Dunedad, how is your countdown going to your Quit? Getting armed with some strategies?

Tiana, Health Educator

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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 150

Peteg,

The main reason I quit is because my husband and I want to start a family in the next few years. I really cannot imagine being pregnant and smoking and I would rather be over the cravings, crankiness, withdrawals, etc before I get pregnant.

In addition, I despise how all the great apartments and places for rent are designated for non-smokers only (regardless if I promise to smoke outside). I am sad that my car has a cigarette burn on the seat. I am embarrassed by the yellow fingertips and stains on my teeth. I am tired of being lectured about smoking from non-smokers. I hate masking the smoke with perfume and sprays. I hate the taste when I lit the cigarette the wrong way. It is gross emptying ashtrays. I do not miss getting smoke in my eyes. And, to be completely honest I did not even enjoy smoking. I would be having a smoke thinking about how much I need a smoke. How ridiculous is that?

Cheers,

Alice

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 816

Think back to the first time you smoked and the first time inhaling. It was instant cough for me as the smoke bit into my lungs. There wasn't anything good about that. Also I'm fortunate in that the last cigarettes I smoked were particularly old and stale leaving no fond memories of a killer addiction to romanticise about. It slowly drained both my health and my wallet and felt if I kept on it would take my life from me. If that's good I don't know what isn't ? Today I can breathe easy and for that I am thankful. breather

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 57

Hi everyone, I kept a journal for the first 2 weeks I quit so I went back to have a look at it. I was horrified to see things like "numbness in hands and feet, tingling in mouth" and the usual reasons. I had forgotten all about the numbness and it's gone of course. I suggest you keep a journal and go back frequently, it's an eye opener believe me!!

We're all thinking of you Sparky, come back to us often okay.

Lula

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