Sorry guys, I’m in a funk and I need to lean on you again. I’ve been having a lot of smoking thoughts the last 2-3 months. Why after all this time?
Am I disappointed that I don’t feel as good as I thought I would after quitting? Maybe. Is my quit getting old and boring? Definitely not. I’ve fought a tough battle (probably harder than I let on here), and it’s not letting go very easily. I’m reminded on a regular basis that my fight isn’t done. My mom was commenting last night about how much better I must feel, and I actually had to sit back and take inventory on what’s” better”.
No, I’m not depressed, just very surprised that at this point I would get hit so hard again with wanting to smoke. Nothing in my lifestyle has changed to “trigger” these feelings. I’m just getting tired of fighting tooth and nail to keep something that I worked so hard to get, something that I deserve, and something I don’t want to give back, but that feeling of confidence that I had long ago of “I’ll never touch another smoke again” is fading, and that scares me. So here I am, looking to my cyber friends for help.
I know, I know, I don’t want to give up all those days quit, I don’t want to go through hell week again, I know all that stuff, maybe I just needed to vent, and Mr. J’s having a hard time understanding because he’s still finding things very easy.
Anyway, enough rambling. I’m sure things will pass, Thanks for being there guys.
My Milage:My Quit Date: 1/3/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 595
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 11,900
Amount Saved: $4,522.00
Life Gained:Days: 64
Hrs: 23
Mins: 6
Seconds: 6