Hi Sparky
I know that you have a hard time around this stage of your quit. What about changing your routine a bit? That can help. And talking to yourself is great too. I did it during my first mointh. I was caught saying NOPE in the bathroom,shouting is the exact word. And I felt great.
I'm an opinionated person, so when I feel the urge I just say: I don't want to do it, I wont do it because I say so!
I know it is kind of silly, maybe a little dumb, but it works for me.
I felt depressed at the beginning of my second month. Believe me, in my 50 years that was my first time, or at least the first time I can recall. My negative feelings go towards anger, not depression. I was deeply disturbed because I couldn't control it. I don't know how to manage it. I just bought the SAM-E vitamin supplement and it began to wash away. I'm a gregarious person and I didn't want to see or call my friends. It doesn't help that my husband is kind of shy and introspect, and to tell you the truth a little deppresive and negative.
I even told hum: O>K> Your clown has left town; I don't want to make you laugh or go out or have fun; I hate that. I don't want to be the optimist,the want to cheer you up! As of today I will be like you are, so now it's your turn to get me out of this black hole!
He was really scared. I posted here and I vent. I reach out to a friend, I cried with her, and that sadness washed away gradually!
I think there is something in our brain chemistry that gets out of whack. It has to be physical. I didn't want to smoke when I was feeling that way. The tought of having a cigarrette was not in my mind or in my plans. It was plain sadness. But deep sadness.
But I know that you have learned from your previous experiences. Proof is that you are posting, and showing great knowledge of your addiction. You expected this, and you are confronting your toughts. That is a great reaction to an adverse
situation.
You don't need to smoke. You don't want to smoke cause It will make you feel miserable. I know it will. And you also know that venting is a great aid in this process. You are a great inspiration to my quit. We look up to you. I say it with all my heart.
I know this is your final quit and this is just a bump in the road, An expected one as you had noted in your post. And it caught you well prepared. Now you know. Now you will succeed!
And in a lighter note, it is time to go to the shopping mall and get some beach clothes and tanning lotion and sunscreen. You are 10 day shy of your cruise!! The cabana boys are practicing the dancing steps and routines. I heard that they are so good, that the TV Shoe dancing with the stars called them. I don't know maybe we are going to watch them on national TV.
Hugggggggs
Marivi